Adult Child living at home

[Redsoxfan2010]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Massachusetts
I have a 36 year old sister that still lives at home in Ma. with my 68 year old disabled/diabetic father and my 65 year old mother. My sister has not worked in 5 years but my father works part time and my mother works full time.
My sister is verbally abusive to my parents,ie: telling them to die, and I suspect physically abusive as well. I have seen strange bruising and cuts but my parents will deny anything has happened. What are my options on getting a retraining order or having her removed because she is slowly killing both parents. I can not visit with my kids,their grandchildren , due to the toxic environment.ie: Fighting,non-stop arguing. I suspect her goal is to take their house somehow.
Can she be designated as a squatter? She does not pay any of her own bills, does not pay rent, only provides stress and heartache. Can I drag her out of there and drop her off with nuns?
Please help,
At my witts end in Boston.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Massachusetts
I have a 36 year old sister that still lives at home in Ma. with my 68 year old disabled/diabetic father and my 65 year old mother. My sister has not worked in 5 years but my father works part time and my mother works full time.
My sister is verbally abusive to my parents,ie: telling them to die, and I suspect physically abusive as well. I have seen strange bruising and cuts but my parents will deny anything has happened. What are my options on getting a retraining order or having her removed because she is slowly killing both parents. I can not visit with my kids,their grandchildren , due to the toxic environment.ie: Fighting,non-stop arguing. I suspect her goal is to take their house somehow.
Can she be designated as a squatter? She does not pay any of her own bills, does not pay rent, only provides stress and heartache. Can I drag her out of there and drop her off with nuns?
Please help,
At my witts end in Boston.

No.

YOU have no standing whatsoever to do anything at all other than contact social services if you think your parents are being abused.

Oh. And "drop her off with nuns"?

Really?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?Massachusetts
I have a 36 year old sister that still lives at home in Ma. with my 68 year old disabled/diabetic father and my 65 year old mother. My sister has not worked in 5 years but my father works part time and my mother works full time.
My sister is verbally abusive to my parents,ie: telling them to die, and I suspect physically abusive as well. I have seen strange bruising and cuts but my parents will deny anything has happened. What are my options on getting a retraining order or having her removed because she is slowly killing both parents. I can not visit with my kids,their grandchildren , due to the toxic environment.ie: Fighting,non-stop arguing. I suspect her goal is to take their house somehow.
Can she be designated as a squatter? She does not pay any of her own bills, does not pay rent, only provides stress and heartache. Can I drag her out of there and drop her off with nuns?
Please help,
At my witts end in Boston.

Just stop and think for a while.

She's not a squatter. She's an invited guest of your parents and has every right to be there if they want her there. She doesn't have to pay rent if they don't want her to.

Obviously, you can't drag her out of there. You can't touch her - unless you want to be charged with assault.

Telling your parents what to do is not verbally abusive.

If you can get solid evidence that she is harming your parents, you could POSSIBLY do something, but it's going to be nearly impossible for lots of reasons:
1. How are you going to obtain real evidence?
2. If your parents deny it, your chances of ANYTHING are slim. You see bruises on their legs? "Oh, I just tripped in the kitchen and bumped my leg against a chair".

If your story is true, then your parents need you. Taking any overt action against the daughter (unless you can clearly prove that she's a danger to them beyond any reasonable doubt) will simply cut you out of their lives entirely.

Who is fighting? And why can't they see their grandkids? Your story sounds very much like you may be a large part of the problem (MAY be, obviously I don't know what's going on, but it sure sounds like you're participating in the fighting).

 

[justalayman]

d.

Oh. And "drop her off with nuns"?

Really?

I thought it was kind of cute.



redsox; try to find a gov office that deals with elder abuse and report the situation.

other than that, as Proserpina said, nothing you can do legally.

 

[Redsoxfan2010]

Just stop and think for a while.

Just stop and think for a while.
Who is fighting? And why can't they see their grandkids? Your story sounds very much like you may be a large part of the problem (MAY be, obviously I don't know what's going on, but it sure sounds like you're participating in the fighting).

I know this is difficult to analyze from the info I have supplied but I do not think I am a part of the problem. My parents have confided in me that they want her to move out and get a job but she refuses to. She then yells back at them to move out and get jobs. My father is disabled. ????? The arguing/swearing is so bad from her that I do not want my kids exposed to it. I have my parents down to my house so they get away from her. She is no longer allowed to come to my house due to the fact she has accused me of insane things that are untrue and I am afraid she will say/do something in front of my young children.
I am not sure if I can explain it better other than she has become paranoid and definitley needs help but it has become so bad for my parents they are prisoners in their own home.

 

[Proserpina]

So who owns the house?

 

[Redsoxfan2010]

So who owns the house?

My parents own the house. Not exactly sure if its under my father or mothers name but its not my sisters house.

 

[justalayman]

I know this is difficult to analyze from the info I have supplied but I do not think I am a part of the problem. My parents have confided in me that they want her to move out and get a job but she refuses to. She then yells back at them to move out and get jobs. My father is disabled. ????? The arguing/swearing is so bad from her that I do not want my kids exposed to it. I have my parents down to my house so they get away from her. She is no longer allowed to come to my house due to the fact she has accused me of insane things that are untrue and I am afraid she will say/do something in front of my young children.
I am not sure if I can explain it better other than she has become paranoid and definitley needs help but it has become so bad for my parents they are prisoners in their own home.

your parents need to step up and take action. If they refuse, unless some actual abuse is taking place, they will be prisoners to themselves, not the daughter.


if you believe there actually is abuse:

Elder Affairs
Reporting Suspected Elder Abuse

 

[Proserpina]

My parents own the house. Not exactly sure if its under my father or mothers name but its not my sisters house.

Then all they need to do is evict her legally as per your state's regulations.

Simple.

 

[Redsoxfan2010]

Thanks to all for the respectful and mature responses.
I will give and update if anything changes.

P.S
Not sure if the nuns could handle her anyway.
They would need to perform an exorcism first.

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks to all for the respectful and mature responses.
I will give and update if anything changes.

P.S
Not sure if the nuns could handle her anyway.
They would need to perform an exorcism first.

You are absolutely goshdarned jolly well welcome m'dear!

And also, I know a totally wicked store where you can obtain fake vomit.

Just in case you ...uh...y'know, need to do the whole Father Merrin thing...

 

[proud_parent]

P.S
Not sure if the nuns could handle her anyway.
They would need to perform an exorcism first.

You clearly never went to a Catholic school. Sr. Dorothy Anne could scare the hell out of anyone. *shudder*