Avoiding Violoation of Restraining Order...

[knoxdadof2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Filed in Florida

There is a permanent Restraining Order (RO) in effect for me, filed for by my ex-wife during the divorce. Our child is now 18.5.

DD invited myself and my wife to her graduation in FL (where the RO was filed) a year in advance. (We live in TN now.) I told her that ex would have to get the RO dissolved if that were going to happen. Ex told DD she would do so and never did. 5 days before graduation, once DD lost it and insisted she wanted me there, the ex and her family supposedly started scrambling around trying to file for an emergency hearing to get the RO dissolved. (I called the clerk’s, they said there was no way it was happening on such non-emergent grounds at least). Next, they tried telling her that they had gotten it dissolved. I asked for faxed proof from DD, and DD found out from ex that she had NOT gotten it dissolved. Once they saw that those avenues wouldn’t work, they started insisting that I was just being a butt and could come anyway… that ex wouldn’t press charges… that I could just stay 500 feet away since it was such a large venue (state fairgrounds), etc. SD believed them on all counts that this is no big thing. To this day, she holds me responsible for something I had no control over.

My wife and I tried to find something solid online that I could send to her and show her that it is up to me to stay as far away from her as possible since the burden would be on me to prove any innocence. And IF ex or any family members did report me, I would not be able to say I didn’t know she’d be there, obviously….

Also, doesn’t anyone know what the procedure will be like for me to attempt to get it dissolved? I plan to pursue it the next time my wife and I travel to Florida, but would be good to know ahead of time whether or not I would need to be present, etc....

 

[Zigner]

Why do you need to prove anything to anyone? Just don't violate the RO

 

[knoxdadof2]

Why do you need to prove anything to anyone? Just don't violate the RO

I didn't and won't violate it... I missed my daughter's graduation in order to avoid just that.

I would just like to show my daughter that I didn't miss one of her biggest days for no reason. The papers say 500 ft., but I know that it is my duty to avoid any appearance of wrong doing since it could land me in jail. The papers don't go into that... it would be nice to have some professional proof to show her. I think she's not believing it because it's harder for her to believe her Mom would do that to her (keep me from being at her graduation). I avoided any situation that would cause a tug of war for her for 15 years, sometimes to my own detriment, but this one I'm not letting her continue to believe. It has caused a huge rift in our relationship.

 

[Zigner]

I didn't and won't violate it... I missed my daughter's graduation in order to avoid just that.

I would just like to show my daughter that I didn't miss one of her biggest days for no reason. The papers say 500 ft., but I know that it is my duty to avoid any appearance of wrong doing since it could land me in jail. The papers don't go into that... it would be nice to have some professional proof to show her. I think she's not believing it because it's harder for her to believe her Mom would do that to her (keep me from being at her graduation). I avoided any situation that would cause a tug of war for her for 15 years, sometimes to my own detriment, but this one I'm not letting her continue to believe. It has caused a huge rift in our relationship.

She is old enough to understand that a restraining order does not allow the protected party to waive it on a whim.

 

[Ohiogal]

She is old enough to understand that a restraining order does not allow the protected party to waive it on a whim.

Gotta wonder if knoxmom just changed it to dad and is still posting.

 

[single317dad]

Child doesn't invite Mom to graduation. Dad gets to come. Simple.

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Filed in Florida

There is a permanent Restraining Order (RO) in effect for me, filed for by my ex-wife during the divorce. Our child is now 18.5.

DD invited myself and my wife to her graduation in FL (where the RO was filed) a year in advance. (We live in TN now.) I told her that ex would have to get the RO dissolved if that were going to happen. Ex told DD she would do so and never did. 5 days before graduation, once DD lost it and insisted she wanted me there, the ex and her family supposedly started scrambling around trying to file for an emergency hearing to get the RO dissolved. (I called the clerk’s, they said there was no way it was happening on such non-emergent grounds at least). Next, they tried telling her that they had gotten it dissolved. I asked for faxed proof from DD, and DD found out from ex that she had NOT gotten it dissolved. Once they saw that those avenues wouldn’t work, they started insisting that I was just being a butt and could come anyway… that ex wouldn’t press charges… that I could just stay 500 feet away since it was such a large venue (state fairgrounds), etc. SD believed them on all counts that this is no big thing. To this day, she holds me responsible for something I had no control over.

My wife and I tried to find something solid online that I could send to her and show her that it is up to me to stay as far away from her as possible since the burden would be on me to prove any innocence. And IF ex or any family members did report me, I would not be able to say I didn’t know she’d be there, obviously….

Also, doesn’t anyone know what the procedure will be like for me to attempt to get it dissolved? I plan to pursue it the next time my wife and I travel to Florida, but would be good to know ahead of time whether or not I would need to be present, etc....

I'm curious - when was the order put into effect? And why did you not look into it being lifted in the year between the invitation and the graduation yourself? Ylu know, speaking with a lawyer yourself, rather than placing your child in the middle of it? Why wait until NOW -after your daughter already graduated to look into having it lifted? Why are you now trying to make your ex look like "a butt" to your child?

And what does the RO actually say? IS it that you stay 500 feet way? Honestly, it sounds like both you AND Mom are more interested in making the other look bad than create a memory for your daughter. Well done.