Boy/Girlfriends/Stepparents Spanking??

[DianaBoo28]

What is the name of your state? Washington

Is it legal for a boyfriend/girlfriend or step-parent to spank a child that is not theirs? What if the mother says it's ok, but the father disagrees? What are the options?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Washington

Is it legal for a boyfriend/girlfriend or step-parent to spank a child that is not theirs? What if the mother says it's ok, but the father disagrees? What are the options?

Define spank. How old is the child? Was there bruising?

If my child was "spanked" by a legal stranger (That is defined as ANYONE other than the parents) I would report the assault to the police. If the person who assaulted my child was the bf/gf/wife/husband/bedmate of my ex I would report the abuse to CPS.

Parents who allow their "mates" to spank/hit/abuse are really not fit to parent. They are also risking the custody of their child. Steps have NO RIGHTS to their step-children and should keep in mind that they are not the parents.

I noticed on your other thread you use the word "we" when discussing your husbands custody case. You are not a party to his case and you really need to stop using the word "we". If you were to say this to a GAL or any other court official it could appear that you are overstepping and Judges HATE overstepping step's.

 

[DianaBoo28]

Define spank. How old is the child? Was there bruising?

If my child was "spanked" by a legal stranger (That is defined as ANYONE other than the parents) I would report the assault to the police. If the person who assaulted my child was the bf/gf/wife/husband/bedmate of my ex I would report the abuse to CPS.

Parents who allow their "mates" to spank/hit/abuse are really not fit to parent. They are also risking the custody of their child. Steps have NO RIGHTS to their step-children and should keep in mind that they are not the parents.

I noticed on your other thread you use the word "we" when discussing your husbands custody case. You are not a party to his case and you really need to stop using the word "we". If you were to say this to a GAL or any other court official it could appear that you are overstepping and Judges HATE overstepping step's.

It's hard to define "spank" because all there is to go on is what the child has told her father. No one other than the child and the bf of the mother was there. However, a bruise on her left arm was noticable. The child claims to have been picked up by the arms, tossed on the bed and then spanked. Her mother has made it perfectly clear that an open palmed spank on the butt is legal. Which she is correct. But she also claims that her bf also can do so, which is what I'm questioning.
Also, being that the child is 9... receiving a spanking 4 times in one week would seem abit excessive. A call to CPS has been made. I wasn't sure that charges for assult could be pressed. I suppose that's question I was looking for.

 

[Hot Topic]

Many people consider the parent who spanks a child to be guilty of child abuse. A boy or girlfriend who puts their hands on a child for the purpose of "disciplining" them is guilty of assault.

Haven't you read about all the mothers who are going to jail because they permitted their boyfriend to "discipline" their son or daughter, and the son or daughter ended up dead? Children have been beaten to death by boyfriends because they dirtied their diapers.

It's time mothers put their children ahead of their boyfriends.

 

[tigerlily18]

I agree with you there Hot topic.

 

[DianaBoo28]

Many people consider the parent who spanks a child to be guilty of child abuse. A boy or girlfriend who puts their hands on a child for the purpose of "disciplining" them is guilty of assault.

Haven't you read about all the mothers who are going to jail because they permitted their boyfriend to "discipline" their son or daughter, and the son or daughter ended up dead? Children have been beaten to death by boyfriends because they dirtied their diapers.

It's time mothers put their children ahead of their boyfriends.

I completely agree with you. However, is it considered illegal for the bf to spank the child? The mother claims he has every right because she's given him permission. She says she can't do it herself because she's pregnant and can't risk losing the baby. Before the father goes ahead with pressing charges, he wants to make sure he is in the right. He does not want to put his daughter through any unnecessary drama.

 

[ian_m]

In Missouri, anyway, the statute for an abuse charge isn't just for the parents, but anyone in authority over the child.
'"Abuse", any physical injury, sexual abuse, or emotional abuse inflicted on a child other than by accidental means by those responsible for the child's care, custody, and control, except that discipline including spanking, administered in a reasonable manner, shall not be construed to be abuse; '

I suspect that leaving a bruise on her arm from picking her up and throwing her would be considered excessive by anyone.

As far as charges, you can notify the agencies, and express an opinion, but THEY will decide if charges are warranted. YOU can't bring any charges.

 

[LisaJoy79]

Many people consider the parent who spanks a child to be guilty of child abuse. A boy or girlfriend who puts their hands on a child for the purpose of "disciplining" them is guilty of assault.

Haven't you read about all the mothers who are going to jail because they permitted their boyfriend to "discipline" their son or daughter, and the son or daughter ended up dead? Children have been beaten to death by boyfriends because they dirtied their diapers.

It's time mothers put their children ahead of their boyfriends.

I have to agree with Hot Topic myself

 

[Silverplum]

This link is for all WA family law:
http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/WA/StateSubTopics.cfm/County/ /City/ /demoMode/= 1/Language/1/State/WA/TextOnly/N/ZipCode/ /LoggedIn/0/iTopicID/862/sTopicImage/familyjuvenile.gif/bAllState/0

And this one is about Child Protective Services issues in WA:
http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/WA/StateChannelResults.cfm/County/ /City/ /demoMode/= 1/Language/1/State/WA/TextOnly/N/ZipCode/ /LoggedIn/0/iSubTopicID/1/iProblemCodeID/1390300/sTopicImage/familyjuvenile.gif/iTopicID/862/bAllState/0/ichannelid/7

Please do note, no other state matters. Posters should not discuss legal issues as they are in a state other than the Original Poster's (OP's) state.

 

[Ohiogal]

I completely agree with you. However, is it considered illegal for the bf to spank the child? The mother claims he has every right because she's given him permission. She says she can't do it herself because she's pregnant and can't risk losing the baby. Before the father goes ahead with pressing charges, he wants to make sure he is in the right. He does not want to put his daughter through any unnecessary drama.

The boyfriend may very well be able to spank the child with mother's permission provided it does nto cross the line into abuse. If there are no bruises and no instruments are being used and mom is giving the boyfriend permission, then it is not illegal.

 

[Ohiogal]

I have to agree with Hot Topic myself

Well Hot Topic is not correct necessarily. But good of you to be throwing your opinion in.

 

[Ohiogal]

I completely agree with you. However, is it considered illegal for the bf to spank the child? The mother claims he has every right because she's given him permission. She says she can't do it herself because she's pregnant and can't risk losing the baby. Before the father goes ahead with pressing charges, he wants to make sure he is in the right. He does not want to put his daughter through any unnecessary drama.

He cannot press charges. he can only file a complaint. The DA would have to decide to press charges.

 

[Hot Topic]

So the mother wants her boyfriend to discipline the child because she's pregnant and "can't risk" losing the baby? Anyone but me think that's a little bizarre?

 

[DianaBoo28]

So the mother wants her boyfriend to discipline the child because she's pregnant and "can't risk" losing the baby? Anyone but me think that's a little bizarre?

Extremely bizzare! Completely frustrating and incredibily infuriating. She also refuses to clean up after the dogs when they "do their business" in the house. The mother claims she can't because of toxoplasmosis. But, rather than having the boyfriend do it, they make the child clean it up. But... I guess that's an entirely separate issue which should be addressed in a different thread under a different topic.

 

[aliceyalice]

i don't know about legal...but it is morally wrong to let your partner spank your child. i remember reading somewhere that children were more likely to be murdered by 'parental replacement figures' than by thier bio parents. for that reason alone, any person who is dating, living with or married to a parent should be emphatically told to keep their hands OFF the kids.

oh, i googled the stats...here's a url or two:

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/marek.kohn/cinderella.html

http://www.nkmr.org/english/step_parents_abuse_children_to_death_more_often.htm

http://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S109051380600064X