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Boyfriends mom showers with my 5 year old daughter - what can i do?

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StandStrong

Junior Member
I live in Louisiana.

My boyfriends mother has been showering with my 5 year old daughter. She has been asked to stop and continued. She is not blood related to my daughter or I. My daughter has not even seen me naked because i do not think it is right for a child to see an adult naked. Which brings me here, since She has been asked to stop and has not, what can I do??
 


Isis1

Senior Member
I live in Louisiana.

My boyfriends mother has been showering with my 5 year old daughter. She has been asked to stop and continued. She is not blood related to my daughter or I. My daughter has not even seen me naked because i do not think it is right for a child to see an adult naked. Which brings me here, since She has been asked to stop and has not, what can I do??
stop taking the child to the woman's house?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I live in Louisiana.

My boyfriends mother has been showering with my 5 year old daughter. She has been asked to stop and continued. She is not blood related to my daughter or I. My daughter has not even seen me naked because i do not think it is right for a child to see an adult naked. Which brings me here, since She has been asked to stop and has not, what can I do??


Could it be she doesn't feel that nudity is something to be ashamed of?

What does your boyfriend think? He does..think, yes?
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
I live in Louisiana.

My boyfriends mother has been showering with my 5 year old daughter. She has been asked to stop and continued. She is not blood related to my daughter or I. My daughter has not even seen me naked because i do not think it is right for a child to see an adult naked. Which brings me here, since She has been asked to stop and has not, what can I do??
Is the BF the childs father? If the BF his LEGAL MOTHER?
 

happybug

Member
Since your BF's mother is not related to your child, your BF is not her father? The answer is simple. If you have a problem with this woman showering with your DD, do not ever leave her unsupervised with your child. Actually, my answer would not change even if she is the grandmother. Do not leave her unsupervised with your child. What is the problem? Who is FORCING you to allow your DD to have naked time with your BF's mother? Could it be that you are unwilling to actually pay a competent babysitter? If that is the case, then you get what you pay for. If you want a caregiver to follow your rules, PAY THEM.
 

StandStrong

Junior Member
The only time she was going over there was when my boyfriend went to see his mom, once or twice a month. We did this so she could see my daughter since she and I have problems with each other. My boyfriend is not the bio father. His mother is his legal mother.

I posted this because my boyfriend does not think anything of it when i want it stopped. He thought i was over reacting. So i wanted to get some opinions...

Obviously i am not going to let my daughter go over there anymore. It is just sad because she will be missing out on having a grandmother (I grew up with everyone dead, no family except mom and dad) but if the lady wont stop, its all i can do i guess.

She does not see being naked as anything bad but when the mother says Do Not Do That and the mother does not shower or let the child see her naked i dont think she has any right to expose herself to my child.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
The only time she was going over there was when my boyfriend went to see his mom, once or twice a month. We did this so she could see my daughter since she and I have problems with each other. My boyfriend is not the bio father. His mother is his legal mother.

I posted this because my boyfriend does not think anything of it when i want it stopped. He thought i was over reacting. So i wanted to get some opinions...

Obviously i am not going to let my daughter go over there anymore. It is just sad because she will be missing out on having a grandmother (I grew up with everyone dead, no family except mom and dad) but if the lady wont stop, its all i can do i guess.

She does not see being naked as anything bad but when the mother says Do Not Do That and the mother does not shower or let the child see her naked i dont think she has any right to expose herself to my child.

then your problem is with your boyfriend who is not willing to respect YOUR parenting with YOUR child.
 

happybug

Member
So what is the problem? Stop allowing your boyfriend to take your child, unsupervised. Once you break up, your daughter will never have to see him or his mother again. Since this man isn't "the one", it seems as you were allowing him and his mother a lot of liberties with your child. Perhaps, you might want to be a bit more careful in the future?
 

StandStrong

Junior Member
He has been here for my daughter and I since she was a year old. Reasons for the break up have to do with little romance/losing common interest. I love him and thought (think) he is the one if we can work thru this rough patch. Hes been a dedicated father since we met, he even works two jobs...

His mom was born and raised in Guatemala and he was born there, came to America when he was 7. It may just be a cultural thing... Which would explain why the boyfriend sees nothing wrong with it.

I, on the other hand, was not raised like that.... Privates are privates cause NO ONE is susposta see them. Which is why it makes me uneasy.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
He has been here for my daughter and I since she was a year old. Reasons for the break up have to do with little romance/losing common interest. I love him and thought (think) he is the one if we can work thru this rough patch. Hes been a dedicated father since we met, he even works two jobs...

His mom was born and raised in Guatemala and he was born there, came to America when he was 7. It may just be a cultural thing... Which would explain why the boyfriend sees nothing wrong with it.

I, on the other hand, was not raised like that.... Privates are privates cause NO ONE is susposta see them. Which is why it makes me uneasy.

And others, by the same token, see nothing wrong with bathing or showering with a young child.

It's not quite the same thing as "exposing" themselves - which is done for sexual gratification.

But, that aside, it is your absolute right (or Dad's too, if he's around) to limit contact with whomever you want.
 

happybug

Member
He has been here for my daughter and I since she was a year old. Reasons for the break up have to do with little romance/losing common interest. I love him and thought (think) he is the one if we can work thru this rough patch. Hes been a dedicated father since we met, he even works two jobs...

His mom was born and raised in Guatemala and he was born there, came to America when he was 7. It may just be a cultural thing... Which would explain why the boyfriend sees nothing wrong with it.

I, on the other hand, was not raised like that.... Privates are privates cause NO ONE is susposta see them. Which is why it makes me uneasy.
This has NOTHING to do with what is your "normal" vs. their "normal" The problem is that neither one of them respects YOU as the parent. You asked that it stop. His mother continues on her way and your boyfriend tells you to get over it. The only thing that matters is that you are not allowed to make rules and set boundaries for your own child. Also, the fact that your boyfriend would rather make his mommieeeeee happy than make you happy.
 

StandStrong

Junior Member
I understand when you say other dont see it as bad to bathe with a young child. But i think if it will be done, it should only be done by the mother / father (For a boy) or whoever else the parent Okays. In this case, i did not okay anything. In fact, i told her to Stop showering with my 5 year old and she still did it, which is why i said 'exposing herself'.

She is not allowed to be in the room if im in less than a bra and jeans. And i'm her mom... She does not see me or my family undressed, thats why i see it as a problem. My daughter will just not go see boyfriend's mom anymore if she can not respect my wishes.
 

StandStrong

Junior Member
I agree, Happy. As i told my dad, "Its not about if its right or wrong, its about being respected as a mother".

Thank you all for your replies!! =)
 

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