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Breaking things, punching walls. Domestic Violence?

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jmule

Junior Member
First off let me say that I would never ever lay a hand on my wife in anger. I have been known in a heated argument to punch walls or break things. While I know that this behavior is wrong and I want to correct it. I realize that what is done is done and I can't undo anything that was done in the past. What I want to know is that can a person legally file charges or cite someone in divorce proceedings for domestic violence, even if the violence was not directed at them, children, pets, etc., But rather just on violent behavior toword inanimate objects. Is it considered abuse?
 
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Ozark_Sophist

Senior Member
Violence can be used as intimidation even if directed at inanimate objects. Your actions could be used against you as supporting evidence in a petition for a restraining order. Please seek anger management counseling. Even if you never physically hurt another person, your anger is intimidating to others and potentially deadly for you (people with flash anger have a shortened lifespan).
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
It could be if you made her fear for her personal safety. Which such violence could very well do.
 

jmule

Junior Member
Thanks

Thank you. Just another thing. If the behavior is corrected through anger management couselling, do the past actions still come into play in divorce proceedings?
 

CJane

Senior Member
Thank you. Just another thing. If the behavior is corrected through anger management couselling, do the past actions still come into play in divorce proceedings?
Yes.

If she was having an affair with someone, and then stopped doing it in an effort to avoid it being used against her, wouldn't you still want to be able to bring it up?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Thank you. Just another thing. If the behavior is corrected through anger management couselling, do the past actions still come into play in divorce proceedings?
They very well could. When was anger management completed? When was the divorce filed? How long after anger management were the parties together?
 

jmule

Junior Member
Thanks again

I have nither filed for divorce or completed anger management. I do plan on going to anger management soon as I know that my actions are not the correct way to deal with anger. As far as divorce is concerned, I'm at the point where I know that it has to be an option, because the my wife does not want marriage couseling. I don't see us continuing without it. Although, even with completion of anger management counselling it does not look good, for custody to have her bring that up. Would it be likely that, if it was an issue, that a judge would not grant equal custody/ visitation?
 

Ozark_Sophist

Senior Member
If you start now to address the problem before any action is taken with the court system, it will look better for you then waiting.
 

TinkerBelleLuvr

Senior Member
Best Interest Of Child

When evaluating child custody, Michigan courts are required to evaluate the "best interest" factors, a series of considerations which are meant to help the court determine the most appropriate custodial environment for a child. Those factors include:

(a) The love, affection, and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved and the child.
(b) The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the child love, affection, and guidance and to continue the education and raising of the child in his or her religion or creed, if any.

(c) The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care recognized and permitted under the laws of this state in place of medical care, and other material needs.

(d) The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment, and the desirability of maintaining continuity.

(e) The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home or homes.

(f) The moral fitness of the parties involved.

(g) The mental and physical health of the parties involved.

(h) The home, school, and community record of the child.

(i) The reasonable preference of the child, if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference.

(j) The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent or the child and the parents.

(k) Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against or witnessed by the child.

(l) Any other factor considered by the court to be relevant to a particular child custody dispute.

Please note that, while a court will make specific findings under each "best interest" factor when rendering a custody decision, the court's findings are not tallied up like a baseball score. It may be that one party "wins" under most of the factors, but that custody is awarded to the other party on the basis of a factor the trial court considers to be more important under the circumstances. For example, a judge may be sufficiently concerned about a parent who appears to wish to alienate the child from the other parent, that custody will be awarded to the other parent under a strong "factor j" finding, despite the many good qualities of the first parent. Similarly, "factor b" and "factor c" findings may be given considerable weight by a court, if a parent appears unwilling or unable to provide appropriate guidance or support.

The issue of "morality" relates to the effect of the parent's moral choices on the children. It is not intended to include an evaluation of a parent's character outside of the context of the best interests of the children, and the ability of the parent to provide appropriate moral guidance to the children. A parent's involvement in a new romantic relationship following divorce or separation is not the type of "moral conduct" which would ordinarily concern a court.
 

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