Can I ignore Court Subpena for testifingagainst my husband on DV case ? Please help!

[Chicagomom1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Chicago, il

Details: One Sunday, my husband slapped me when I tried stopping him from disciplining my daughter. After that, we started arguing, he came towards me really mad, so I grabbed a knife to defend. He started poking his stomach towards the knife threatening to hurt himself, so I tried putting away the knife and got few scratches on my arms from the struggle. The knife broke & fell on the floor, unfortunately my kids witnessed this scene. I took them in the room and called 911. Cops arrested my husband, he got no contact for 72 hrs. Cops took my pictures and statement with all the details.

Now he is back, things are normal and I don't want to press charges. This was the first time he hit me in 16 yrs.
The case is now going in trial since he didn't guilty, he has a defense attorney. I tied contacting the prosecutor for updates on motions and she needs me to be a witness. I got a subpoena 2 days ago & a notice of trial to register as a witness for this case.

I just want this case rested and don't want to testify against my husband. I can't afford to see him behind the bars.

- Can I ignore the witness registration & subpena? Will I be in legal trouble?
- Do I have achance of settlement with wither lawyers to rest this case?
- Should I convey my message of not wanting to proceed further to the prosecutor?
- Do I talk to my husbands defense lawyer for settlement?
- IF I register as witness and tell the truth in the court, What should I expect as a punishment? & how can I help to make sure he gets the minimum punishment?

Please please advice soon!

 

[stealth2]

Can you afford to be behind bars? Go ahead and ignore the subpoena.

Can you afford your children to see you killed? Go ahead and refuse to testify against your abusive husband.

Sorry - no sympathy.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Chicago, il

Details: One Sunday, my husband slapped me when I tried stopping him from disciplining my daughter. After that, we started arguing, he came towards me really mad, so I grabbed a knife to defend. He started poking his stomach towards the knife threatening to hurt himself, so I tried putting away the knife and got few scratches on my arms from the struggle. The knife broke & fell on the floor, unfortunately my kids witnessed this scene. I took them in the room and called 911. Cops arrested my husband, he got no contact for 72 hrs. Cops took my pictures and statement with all the details.

Now he is back, things are normal and I don't want to press charges. This was the first time he hit me in 16 yrs.
The case is now going in trial since he didn't guilty, he has a defense attorney. I tied contacting the prosecutor for updates on motions and she needs me to be a witness. I got a subpoena 2 days ago & a notice of trial to register as a witness for this case.

I just want this case rested and don't want to testify against my husband. I can't afford to see him behind the bars.

- Can I ignore the witness registration & subpena? Will I be in legal trouble?
- Do I have achance of settlement with wither lawyers to rest this case?
- Should I convey my message of not wanting to proceed further to the prosecutor?
- Do I talk to my husbands defense lawyer for settlement?
- IF I register as witness and tell the truth in the court, What should I expect as a punishment? & how can I help to make sure he gets the minimum punishment?

Please please advice soon!

In Illinois spousal privilege does not apply to DV cases; in other words if you're called to testify against your husband, you best do it. Not testifying can theoretically end up with jail time until you obey the court's orders.

At this point, your wishes probably don't count for much and the state can proceed without you.

 

[mmmagique]

"The knife broke and fell on the floor" is akin to that old saying "the gun went off".

Knives don't break themselves and then throw themselves on the floor, so the two of you must have been having a knock down drag out in front of your kids. One of you (I'm still not sure which or even both) deserved to go to jail that night.

 

[Ladyback1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Chicago, il

Details: One Sunday, my husband slapped me when I tried stopping him from disciplining my daughter. After that, we started arguing, he came towards me really mad, so I grabbed a knife to defend. He started poking his stomach towards the knife threatening to hurt himself, so I tried putting away the knife and got few scratches on my arms from the struggle. The knife broke & fell on the floor, unfortunately my kids witnessed this scene. I took them in the room and called 911. Cops arrested my husband, he got no contact for 72 hrs. Cops took my pictures and statement with all the details.

Now he is back, things are normal and I don't want to press charges. This was the first time he hit me in 16 yrs.
The case is now going in trial since he didn't guilty, he has a defense attorney. I tied contacting the prosecutor for updates on motions and she needs me to be a witness. I got a subpoena 2 days ago & a notice of trial to register as a witness for this case.

I just want this case rested and don't want to testify against my husband. I can't afford to see him behind the bars.

- Can I ignore the witness registration & subpena? Will I be in legal trouble?
- Do I have achance of settlement with wither lawyers to rest this case?
- Should I convey my message of not wanting to proceed further to the prosecutor?
- Do I talk to my husbands defense lawyer for settlement?
- IF I register as witness and tell the truth in the court, What should I expect as a punishment? & how can I help to make sure he gets the minimum punishment?

Please please advice soon!

A few questions: is the daughter that was being disciplined a shared child? Is the he the father or stepfather?
What sort of discipline are we talking? And how old is said child?

Was he physically disciplining the child and you attempted to stop him?

What had the child done to be disciplined?

The answers are important...

 

[Proserpina]

A few questions: is the daughter that was being disciplined a shared child? Is the he the father or stepfather?
What sort of discipline are we talking? And how old is said child?

Was he physically disciplining the child and you attempted to stop him?

What had the child done to be disciplined?

The answers are important...

Help me out here. Exactly what is important and why?

 

[Eekamouse]

You gave a statement on the night of his arrest to police officers and you can be rest assured that will be part of the court proceedings. You wanting to take it all back now because you can't afford for him to go to prison is not going to impress the court at all. You don't get to change your mind and have anything dropped. Which is good because your children don't need to live in a home with that sort of stuff going on.

 

[Ladyback1]

Help me out here. Exactly what is important and why?

Perhaps the answers are just important to me, and it's to help me have some sort of insight as to what actually happened.

If Mom became physically aggressive with the husband first and assaulted him--and his response was to slap her? My advice would be slightly different, than if the male was the one out of control.

She can't ignore the subpoena, however, based on the circumstances (where she was the one who was out of control), she can mitigate the damage in court.

I can say that in the 15 years of marriage and abuse that I lived, I NEVER took up a weapon. Mostly due in part because I was scared he would use it against me!

Something just doesn't sound kosher with the OPs story...

 

[Ladyback1]

You gave a statement on the night of his arrest to police officers and you can be rest assured that will be part of the court proceedings. You wanting to take it all back now because you can't afford for him to go to prison is not going to impress the court at all. You don't get to change your mind and have anything dropped. Which is good because your children don't need to live in a home with that sort of stuff going on.

I can only speak from personal experience: The one time the cops came, I did not give a statement. They talked to me, asked what happened. They asked me to write and sign a statement. I declined because I knew that when the now Ex got wind of it, I would pay in the worse way. I actually have the full report from the incident, and the officer noted I refused to sign any statement or allow pictures to be taken of my bruises. Ex was convicted based solely on the police report, and I was not called to be a witness nor did I have to testify.

 

[single317dad]

Perhaps the answers are just important to me, and it's to help me have some sort of insight as to what actually happened.

If Mom became physically aggressive with the husband first and assaulted him--and his response was to slap her? My advice would be slightly different, than if the male was the one out of control.

She can't ignore the subpoena, however, based on the circumstances (where she was the one who was out of control), she can mitigate the damage in court.

I can say that in the 15 years of marriage and abuse that I lived, I NEVER took up a weapon. Mostly due in part because I was scared he would use it against me!

Something just doesn't sound kosher with the OPs story...

That's not how it works. If your spouse is assaulting you, and you assault them in return, you've both committed a crime. She can't mitigate anything; all she could do by admitting to assaulting her husband first is to end up charged with domestic assault. OP needs to understand that the taxpayers have invested in the prosecution of a crime, and they expect justice. I, for one, hope the prosecutor does their job and compels OP to testify. The citizens of Illinois don't need couples who physically fight amongst themselves to continue reconciling to do it all over again.

 

[Rwedunyet]

I'd like to know what is being done to protect those children.

 

[Eekamouse]

Right but the cop can testify to what you told him that night and what he observed and if she plans on lying in court, she'll look like an idiot.

 

[stealth2]

A few questions: is the daughter that was being disciplined a shared child? Is the he the father or stepfather?
What sort of discipline are we talking? And how old is said child?

Was he physically disciplining the child and you attempted to stop him?

What had the child done to be disciplined?

The answers are important...

Oh hun - they really are not.

 

[anearthw]

If you ignore the subpoena then you can be thrown in jail AND your children be taken from your custody. If you contribute to the violation of any conditions in regards to this case (NO CONTACT) then your children can be taken from your custody.

If you were fearful enough to grab a knife to protect yourself AND he was baiting to stab himself in front of your children, then they should be seized if you are attempting to cover up for this incident. If you will not protect your children from this, then you will be choosing him over them.

16 years of no assault doesn't make a darn difference when an entire family could have been slaughtered that night.

There is no "settlement" to be discussed here - you are no less than the millionth victim of domestic violence and precautions are already set-up in place to protect you and your children from yourself.

Please contact a domestic violence shelter if you need someone to speak to about this process.

 

[Ladyback1]

Oh hun - they really are not.

ya know? I did admit that maybe they were important just to me.

I happen to believe they are important, because it tells the more of the events leading up to the arrest.

If the OP used a knife to protect herself, why weren't both parties arrested?
Did OP lie to get her husband arrested that night, and is afraid she will be found out in court?

I'm just not buying the whole "we argued, he was really angry so I picked up a knife to protect myself".

OP is leaving out details. And she will have to face some tough questions in court.

And the questions do go to the safety and security of the children involved....