Can someone pursue a domestic case from another state

[leapingpossum]

My ex-girlfriend and I had an incident several months ago and she has since moved out of state.

Now, six months later, she is threatening to take me to family court in the state she moved to for an incident that occurred in the other state.

At the time, I was cleared of everything, as I had not done another to her and was the person who actually had marks. The police report from the evening in question actually states, from a statement that she made, that she had hit me and I had not hit her. (Which is the truth I might add)

Now, six months later, she is threatening to take the case to court in the state she moved to. She is waiting for six months residency in that state so she can use the family court there, so she claimed. She is also not a U.S. citizen.

When I asked her why she was trying to do this, she said it was only to cause me pain and hardship.

She had asked me to marry her several months ago and I said I wouldn't because I didn't know her well enough. She ended up going off the deep end and attacking me, stating she only wanted a green card anyway.

Now, several months later, she is only again sounding her horn, trying to cause issue.

My question is this: can a case be pursued several months later from another state? especially when I was never taken into custody in the first place because the police found no wrongdoing on my part?

Thank you and God bless.

 

[CdwJava]

What kind of criminal case? She might be able to file for divorce in her new state, but I cannot see how she might conceivably sue you for damages for something that happened in another jurisdiction.

 

[mistoffolees]

What kind of criminal case? She might be able to file for divorce in her new state, but I cannot see how she might conceivably sue you for damages for something that happened in another jurisdiction.

It's going to be hard for her to sue for divorce since they were apparently never married.

I agree that she's not likely to be able to sue for damages. Frankly, I wouldn't worry about it unless you get court documents. If you do, take them to your attorney to have the case dismissed and get an order for her to pay your legal expenses for filing a frivolous suit.

 

[CdwJava]

It's going to be hard for her to sue for divorce since they were apparently never married.

It was late when i replied ... I glossed over that part. Then it makes no sense at all to go to Family Court in the other state ... unless there are children involved.

 

[leapingpossum]

It was late when i replied ... I glossed over that part. Then it makes no sense at all to go to Family Court in the other state ... unless there are children involved.

The last time we spoke was April, she said she was pregnant, leaving the state and that she intended to have the baby to stay in the USA and bring her family here.

She said she is merely trying to ruin my life to save face (Asian culture), and even if it backfires on her, she can just leave the country with the child and there is nothing I can do to stop her. This is literally what she said - she's an evil person. She said if I tried to find her, she would just leave.

I'm in the military for several years, recently commissioned. She's trying to ruin it all for me. She even said this - she said she wants me to crash and burn.

Now, after over three months of not talking to her she writes me claiming she is still pregnant, but doesn't intend to put me on the birth certificate. She said she doesn't want me to be the father and wants the child to have her surname, and that I need to file for paternity on my own, if I want to.

She said she is waiting for six months residency in the state she moved to so that she can use the family court there to take me to court for domestic abuse. She said she doesn't intend to sue for damages, but she said she wants me to suffer, plain and simple. I'm stationed across the country and she said she will serve me court papers, I will have to come across the country to meet her in court.

Even if she doesn't win, (I have a feeling she knows she can't) she will just up and leave the USA. She is throwing around her parents money (they're very wealthy) and is just doing this for her own twisted satisfaction.

But seriously, this all happened in another state, and it was her that could have been arrested. The police offered and I said no. It was clear she was being a drama queen (the cop even said this) and that I was the victim. It's embarrassing to admit, but domestic violence goes both ways. Men can suffer it too. I told the police not to bother sending her to jail, just to ensure that she gets out of my house with her things. Now, she is claiming the police were on my side and she couldn't trust the jurisdiction there and intends to use another states to "make me feel her embarrassment."

 

[mistoffolees]

Now, after over three months of not talking to her she writes me claiming she is still pregnant, but doesn't intend to put me on the birth certificate. She said she doesn't want me to be the father and wants the child to have her surname, and that I need to file for paternity on my own, if I want to.

That is the only true thing she has said.

You will need to establish paternity after the child is born. You can then file an emergency order to prevent her from taking the child out of the country. But you will have to hurry if she's that eager (although she might have problems taking the child out of the country without a passport, anyway).

 

[leapingpossum]

That is the only true thing she has said.

You will need to establish paternity after the child is born. You can then file an emergency order to prevent her from taking the child out of the country. But you will have to hurry if she's that eager (although she might have problems taking the child out of the country without a passport, anyway).

But what about this? "She said she is waiting for six months residency in the state she moved to so that she can use the family court there to take me to court for domestic abuse. She said she doesn't intend to sue for damages, but she said she wants me to suffer, plain and simple. I'm stationed across the country and she said she will serve me court papers, I will have to come across the country to meet her in court."

Is that possible? What is the worst that can happen? I have training during this time, I can only begin to imagine how this will impact my career..

 

[LdiJ]

But what about this? "She said she is waiting for six months residency in the state she moved to so that she can use the family court there to take me to court for domestic abuse. She said she doesn't intend to sue for damages, but she said she wants me to suffer, plain and simple. I'm stationed across the country and she said she will serve me court papers, I will have to come across the country to meet her in court."

Is that possible? What is the worst that can happen? I have training during this time, I can only begin to imagine how this will impact my career..

I really don't think she can do that. The "crime" did not take place in her state.

 

[CdwJava]

Her state of residence will not have jurisdiction over any alleged criminal act that occurred in some other state. She can only use such an allegation as part of an affidavit for a restraining order, support, etc., in the new state but not to pursue you for a crime that occurred somewhere else.

 

[leapingpossum]

I really don't think she can do that. The "crime" did not take place in her state.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

This has been causing me a lot of heartache over the past few months, feeling as if my career is teetering on the emotional instability of some green card hunting, system abusing foreigner.

I made my mistake and I tried to make amends for it. I shouldn't have been involved with her in the first place, and I did everything I could to keep her with me (after all, I was under the impression that she was pregnant with my child) until she finally just exploded and left when I said I wanted to wait for the marriage and green card applications. When I found out she was only using me, I was honestly glad she left.. Within a month of meeting me, she was already gathering the paperwork to bring her mother here - I should have known better.

Now that she sees that the truth prospered and that everything wouldn't be so easy for her (as it has been her entire life) she's doing everything she can to cause me pain, hardship and suffering. I can't go a single day without worrying about her or what she might try to do - because after all, she can sound her horn all she wants - she can just leave in the end and pretend like it never happened.. while I on the other hand may come up short on my career, even if I am innocent.

The military doesn't exactly like its members (especially officers) being embroiled in things such as this, and I can't honestly blame them. I made a poor judgment call by getting involved with her, but I think I've more than paid the price at this point.

My family is infuriated, and told me if she does try to push some sort of action, to go after her for slander and defamatory of character, but I am not that sort of person. I wouldn't get anything from her in the first place and I'm not the type that goes after someone just for the sake of "getting even" as is what she is trying to do. I just want this to be over and for her to go on her merry way and just leave me alone so that I can continue my life and career in peace.

Now the only question is, do I risk my security clearance and future to chase her around just to find out if the child is mine or not? She can just up and leave.. I really don't know what to do. Honestly, I think that's the end all with this whole thing. She claims to have been in contact with a lawyer, etc. but no lawyer would advise her that she could press charges for something that was cleared in another state. I think she is just trying to scare me so I don't try phoning her in October..

 

[Isis1]

If she is in fact pregnant, from your description, once she finds out she can't file to have charges pressed against you for assault in her state, she will file for paternity on her own (and yes you will either have to appear in her state for court or hire an attorney in her state to appear for you just to file for child support. And she will get to do this at anytime between the baby's birth until the child is 18 (or 21, depending on what state she is in). So, congratulations, dad.

 

[mistoffolees]

If she is in fact pregnant, from your description, once she finds out she can't file to have charges pressed against you for assault in her state, she will file for paternity on her own (and yes you will either have to appear in her state for court or hire an attorney in her state to appear for you just to file for child support. And she will get to do this at anytime between the baby's birth until the child is 18 (or 21, depending on what state she is in). So, congratulations, dad.

And, in some states, she can even wait years to do it and get it awarded retroactively. You're probably better off doing it right up front and then having rights to spend time with your child. If you act quickly enough, you may be able to stop her from fleeing the country.

 

[leapingpossum]

If she is in fact pregnant, from your description, once she finds out she can't file to have charges pressed against you for assault in her state, she will file for paternity on her own (and yes you will either have to appear in her state for court or hire an attorney in her state to appear for you just to file for child support. And she will get to do this at anytime between the baby's birth until the child is 18 (or 21, depending on what state she is in). So, congratulations, dad.

Thank you.

When I first realized she was pregnant (or was told) I immediately moved her in with me, etc. It was when she started gathering paperwork for her family shortly thereafter, etc. etc. that I started to realize something was up.

I told her I wanted to wait until later, perhaps until even after the baby was born, to marry her. I also told her just because I was hesitant about marriage that I would still support the child as my own. I told her that if she were so dead set on marriage that I wanted a prenup. She flipped out at this point, and things went down hill. We had only been together for a month and a half at this point. I suggested the prenup because I didn't trust her intentions at that point. I told her that if she had nothing to hide, and wasn't trying to take advantage of me, that she would agree to it and everything would be fine and we would be happy together.

She wanted a lot more than she's already got from me - she is only out to take advantage and cause heartache at this point. I think her end goal is some sort of protection order from me so I can't see the child but she can still collect child support?

I have no idea. None of this is adding up.

 

[Tex78704]

There is a woman who is pregnant with your child who is living in another state.
For her own reasons she is pretty pissed off with you and is threatening all kinds of legal actions.

Your post is all over the place speculating on ruined military career, protection orders, her fleeing the country with your child, that you feel you need a prenup... You are getting yourself all wadded up with "what if's?" and "can she do this or that?" and all sort of hypotheticals that are just that at this point... hypotheticals

She said she doesn't intend to sue for damages, but she said she wants me to suffer, plain and simple

Sounds like she is already accomplishing her goal, and doing a real nice job of yanking your chain.

Come back when you have something tangible, for example:
1. My baby was born and resides in state x, and I now wish to establish paternity and my legal rights as a father, what should I do?
2. I just received a summons and court document that says this this and that, what do these mean and what should I do?

But for now you have not really given enough information that anyone can give you reliable advice on, other than speculation. For now, just cool your jets until either the child is born or you are served any legal documents.

Kinda sucks to be in this waiting game stage, but from what has been said so far, there are really no other good options... than to just sit tight and wait.

 

[LdiJ]

And, in some states, she can even wait years to do it and get it awarded retroactively. You're probably better off doing it right up front and then having rights to spend time with your child. If you act quickly enough, you may be able to stop her from fleeing the country.

He cannot stop her from leaving the country while pregnant. A foreign person cannot be detained on US soil without having committed a crime. A US court also cannot stop her from leaving the country after the baby is born. A US court can only stop the baby from leaving.