Child custody case/ DV by CP's new BF

[razzidad]

What is the name of your state? New York.
I recently filed for custody based on the fact that I spend a significant time with my daughter and have since birth and I am concerned about the quality of care she is recieveing at her mother's house. A little backgound... our daughter broke her ankle at school on a wenesday. She was given first adi by the school and was not allowed to walk on it. The school wheeled her to the lunch room, put ice on her foot and waited for mom to pick her up. Although I called several times and her mother said it wasn't really swollen and there was nothing wrong, I took her to the hospital that Saturday after picking her up on Friday. I was disturbed by the fact that she complained about having to stay home with our daughter because she was missing a job interview and by what I saw as being neglectful to her needs and ignoring her pain.

There has been a history of animosity on my daughter's mothers part. I am obviously not objective and don't mean to come off like a bitter jealous person but she took me to court for child support when she found out I stared dating. I ende up paying only $27 more a week than what I was giving her. I also filed for visitation later and was awarded EVERY weekend, phone calls and 1 lunch a week. My daughter's mom also tfalsely claimed my new gorlfriend made terrorist threats against her and our daughter's life. That case was dismissed after many dates due to lack of evidence.

My daughter has complained of her mom's new boyfriend coming over a lot and I told her mom that I wasn't comfortable with her having overnight guest and that she should restrict that to fri & sat or the days I have her or the day time since she hasn't had a job in 2 years and her bofyfriend works t night. I realized that I could not do anything legally about her starting a new relationship and only expressed my personal moral feelings on the subject.

Since I filed afew weeks ago, my daughter's mother got into a domestic violence incident at her house (*fortunately our daughter was with me) wher her boy friend beat her to the point her corneas were scratched and she needed a tetnus shot for the bite she got. The court did not award me custody at that point but stated that the child should continue to reside with me until the case is reaajourned. My question is what are the chances that the courts revert custody to me or try to give us joint custody? Thanks for your advice

[LdiJ]

Well, since the child wasn't present when the abuse happened, and it didn't happen to a child, it happened to another adult, its possible that the court will decide that mom can keep custody. A lot could depend on what happens with the boyfriend. If he ends up out of the picture, the courts will consider the problem to be solved.

Mom had every right to take you to court for child support. In fact, that was the proper thing for mom to do. You really have no right to be bitter about that. You should also consider yourself very lucky to be getting every weekend...that is not at all normal.

[razzidad]

Thanks for the response LdiJ.

My original quote:
I am obviously not objective and don't mean to come off like a bitter jealous person but she took me to court for child support when she found out I stared dating. I ended up paying only $27 more a week than what I was giving her.


I am not bitter about supporting my daughter, I just wanted to point out how spiteful the timing was considering that I also paid 100% of her camp, clothing and afterschool fees and she had no problem with me seeing and spending time with my daughter prior to finding out about my new girlfriend. The timing of the CS case coincided with her false claims of threats made by my GF. I in fact did not have any problem paying the support before or after the order since I understand that my daughter needs to have a roof over her head and food when she is not with me.

I do consider myself lucky for the liberal vistation schedule but I also see it as a testement of my relationship with my daughter. I simply asked the court to allow me to visit and spend time with my daughter with the same regularity we had become accustomed to. Initially, my daughter's mother used to use court ordered visitation as a threat: "I'll go to court and then they will only let you see her every other weekend and alternate holidays" More background... I went to file for visitation a year after the CS case when I asked my daughter's mom to pick up our daughter one friday in the winter since she went to a swimming party (keep in mind that I saw her more often and used to take her to school most mondays so I can participate in her schooling and communicate with her teachers). I did not want her to travel in the cold and asked that her mom pick her up that evening and allow me to pick her up in the morning to take her to girl scouts so she wouldn't get sick after swimming and then walking around and commuting instead of going around the corner to her mom's house. She claimed I had strangers picking her up from school (although the invitation came to the CP's house, we discussed it and she reluctantly agreed to let her go. Plus the mother of the child who had the birthday party picked up most of the other girls in her class after school) and a bunch of other nonsense which was not factored into the descision.

Back to the current case, what was interesting is that my daughter's mom agreed to let our daughter stay with me until this DV issue was resolved. She claimed that she wanted to pick her up because the guy that beat her up was arrested in Ohio and was being sent back to NY the next day. I didn't believe this and insited that if she waned me to bring her back since I was concerned about her safety, I would meet her at the precinct. She declined and let our daughter stay with me. When we went to cuort, she admitted that not only did the guy not get arrested but that she did not even press charges against this guy. I felt that validated my concerns about my daughter's safety while in her house not to mention that she did not provide her with medical attention for her ankle for 3 days! Will the lack of medical attention and DV issues impact her chances of retaining custody?

[razzidad]

I should have also mentioned that she has not worked in 2 years ( I know that poverty is not an indicator of inability to parent) and mentioned in court when we went for visitation a year ago that she planned to move out of the state WITHOUT my daughter and see her during the summer. To my surprise, this only came up when the court clerk sat with us before we saw a judge. She has since mentioned that idea to my daughter, telling her also that I would take over the lease of her apt. and move in to ease the commute time (something that I did not agree to although I would love for my daughter to be with me most of the time). IPlease don't get me wrong, I don't want to deprive my daughter of her mother but she really shows little interst in her and has taken on part time jobs at night over the past year which she got through an agency. I have had my daughter for most of the time this year and most of DEc and Nov of last year. Although she wasn't working at the time, she did not see her at Xmas or until after the New year started although I took our daughter to her maternal grandmother's house several times and let her spend the night. I try to not alienate our daughter from her mother's side of the family because I know how it felt when my daughter's mom did that to me and my mother. I honestly want what's best for my daughter which I think would be limited contact with her mother.

[LdiJ]

Its kind of hard to say regarding the ankle....that may or may not be considered neglectful. I think its neglectful, but whether or not a judge will find it to be so, particularly after mom gives her version of events, its not predictable.

If the boyfriend remains involved with mom that could make a difference.