Child Sexual Abuse

[joemccalistr]

I am in California, and will state the facts of my issue and then ask for your advice.

My sister admitted to being sexually abused by my stepfather 6 months ago.

My mother and I have not turned him in, but have removed him from the house.
We have not turned him in because right now we are financially dependent upon his work comp check (he is injured) and wanted my sister to finish high school (she finished this December).
We have had no contact with him other than my mom negotiating bills.
His work comp checks will end (2 yr mark) and we were thinking about applying for disability to continue receiving money.
My mother works 2 jobs and is pretty okay with finances, except the house which is a large sum per month due to refinance.
Now that my sister has graduated, we want to turn him in.
We want to move, but the house will be sold for a loss and we will have nothing to get a new house with.


My questions are:
Is my mom going to get in trouble for not turning him in right away?
Will the work comp continue to come through if he's in jail?
Will disability continue to come through if he's in jail?

Also, as side notes:
I graduate in May with a BS in Civil Engineering and can support my mom and sister once I get a job after I graduate (should be immediate).
We may have the option of renting out the first floor of the house to help ease the financial burden of the house.

Thank you in advance for your help, I really appreciate it.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Just Blue]

So...You are allowing this molester to roam free and hurt other children over money? Really?

Flippin' scum.

 

[Banned_Princess]

I am in California, and will state the facts of my issue and then ask for your advice.



My questions are:
Is my mom going to get in trouble for not turning him in right away?

This is completely disgusting.

Will the work comp continue to come through if he's in jail?

Even if it does, nothing entitles you to it. Where your mom and the man married?

Will disability continue to come through if he's in jail?

see above AND if your not blackmailing him anymore, why would he continue to pay your family.

This is completely disgusting.






************************************************************************************...

 

[cyjeff]

If sis had turned to prostitution, would you have been so quick to allow her sexual innocence to be traded for cash?

So, where dad is living... are there any children?

How do you feel about their safety? Or didn't you bother to check?

You basically sold your sister's soul for cash flow. I would find a cop and then a priest.

 

[thethemother]

Get help

First of all, this is not legal advice, I am just a person...so this is my opinion.
And I want to say I am sorry for you having to deal with this awful complicated situation and I do believe you are trying your best. But I would suggest the following:

1. Call the police. Chances are this man is a repeat offender...he is counting on you being afraid to shut him down. You will feel better about yourself for having done this.

2. No more money from the man-he is evil and so is his cash. Have no contact with him. You having contact with him for money may also be a complication when he tries to come up with a case against you!

3. Get your sister into counseling...she may seem "ok" now, but her ability to have a healthy adult sexual experience will depend on it.

4. Get your mother and yourself into counseling...don't either of you feel like killing the pervert? You don't even seem angry? Why not?

Best of luck to you. You will be ok.

 

[Proserpina]

I am in California, and will state the facts of my issue and then ask for your advice.

My sister admitted to being sexually abused by my stepfather 6 months ago.

My mother and I have not turned him in, but have removed him from the house.
We have not turned him in because right now we are financially dependent upon his work comp check (he is injured) and wanted my sister to finish high school (she finished this December).
We have had no contact with him other than my mom negotiating bills.
His work comp checks will end (2 yr mark) and we were thinking about applying for disability to continue receiving money.
My mother works 2 jobs and is pretty okay with finances, except the house which is a large sum per month due to refinance.
Now that my sister has graduated, we want to turn him in.
We want to move, but the house will be sold for a loss and we will have nothing to get a new house with.


My questions are:
Is my mom going to get in trouble for not turning him in right away?
Will the work comp continue to come through if he's in jail?
Will disability continue to come through if he's in jail?

Also, as side notes:
I graduate in May with a BS in Civil Engineering and can support my mom and sister once I get a job after I graduate (should be immediate).
We may have the option of renting out the first floor of the house to help ease the financial burden of the house.

Thank you in advance for your help, I really appreciate it.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

So his money is worth more than your sister's wellbeing - and the wellbeing of others?

How does that work?

 

[joemccalistr]

For those angry about the money, let me clarify. WITHOUT IT MY SISTER AND MOM WOULD LIVE ON THE STREETS BECAUSE THE HOUSE WOULD BE FORECLOSED UPON AND THEY WOULD BE LEFT WITH NOTHING.

The well being of my sister was and is of the utmost importance, which is why we have removed him from the situation, talked thoroughly with her and she understands he will be going to jail soon.

My mother and myself have been figuring out ways to become financially independent from him, which is why I came here, TO TAKE ACTION.

He is barely able to move from his work injury and is still going through a series of surgeries, which I believe suggests he is not out there molesting children. He is living in a place we have placed him with a few of his friends, no children. I know it isn't the greatest circumstance, but we have played the cards that have been dealt.

Most everyone that has responded has attacked the choices we have made. We have made them as a family, and I am sorry if they weren't the greatest choices, but so be it.

And for the comment about being angry, believe me, while my words may show an ability to be calm, there is still a very intense, and very frightening desire to kill the man who acted as my father for 10 years.

 

[Ohiogal]

For those angry about the money, let me clarify. WITHOUT IT MY SISTER AND MOM WOULD LIVE ON THE STREETS BECAUSE THE HOUSE WOULD BE FORECLOSED UPON AND THEY WOULD BE LEFT WITH NOTHING.

Angry about money? Ummm no. But what is the going rate that you and your mother SOLD your sister for? That makes you folks pimps. Understand that. Your mother needs to get a job. And since this is your stepfather, your father(s) should be paying child support if you are minors. If you are NOT minors then you need to get a dang job yourself. A house is a house. Your sister's body -- she was RAPED -- well actually pimped out to the stepfather in exchange for cash. Canyou get that through your feeble mind. So how much did you and mommy allow her to be bought for? What is the price tag?

The well being of my sister was and is of the utmost importance, which is why we have removed him from the situation, talked thoroughly with her and she understands he will be going to jail soon.

Really? How will he be going to jail soon if the police were not called? The police should have been called immediately. Better yet, give me your information and I will Children's services and have your sister removed due to the fact that mom is NOT PROTECTING HER CHILD. MOM has done nothing to protect her legally. Mom has prostituted her daughter in exchange for a house.

My mother and myself have been figuring out ways to become financially independent from him, which is why I came here, TO TAKE ACTION.

He is barely able to move from his work injury and is still going through a series of surgeries, which I believe suggests he is not out there molesting children.

Bull. He managed to rape your sister.

He is living in a place we have placed him with a few of his friends, no children. I know it isn't the greatest circumstance, but we have played the cards that have been dealt.

You have traded your sister for cash. Be proud. Not every sibling will pimp out their sister. You are one of the few and apparently the proud.

Most everyone that has responded has attacked the choices we have made. We have made them as a family, and I am sorry if they weren't the greatest choices, but so be it.

So be it? Really? Again, Children Services should be contacted about this and your sister removed.

And for the comment about being angry, believe me, while my words may show an ability to be calm, there is still a very intense, and very frightening desire to kill the man who acted as my father for 10 years.

Yet you accept his money for your silence. How pathetic.

By the way -- how many BLU RAY discs were you able to buy with his money?

 

[cyjeff]

Ask yourself this....

What if it had been YOU that had been repeatedly raped? Would you understand that the house comes first?

Better, why not make a little money on the side by having sis sell what daddy got for free? That is the lesson here, after all.

Buy yourself a furry hat and get busy.

 

[swalsh411]

I might regret entering this pit of vipers here.... but how certain is the OP that the abuse actually occurred? Has the man admitted to it? It's not like child services will just come in and snatch the kid up; they will do an investigation, interviews, etc. Possibly a medical exam. It is possible that the child is lying; it does happen and kids do make up stories to get back at adults they are mad at. I'm not saying she is lying (there is simply not enough known to make a conclusion either way) but the accused are still innocent until proven guilty in this country.

Yes it should have been reported sooner. But the calls to put the alleged abuse victim in a foster home and haul the man off to jail are a bit premature.

And Ohiogal has used the term "rape" several times. Rape is a very specific crime and is not one-in-the-same as sexual assault. Considering the insults you are flinging at the OP like she is the scum of the earth I would think you would know what rape means.

edit: Now I will probably be accused of defending a child molester. Ain't mob justice grand?

 

[cyjeff]

I might regret entering this pit of vipers here.... but how certain is the OP that the abuse actually occurred? Has the man admitted to it? It's not like child services will just come in and snatch the kid up; they will do an investigation, interviews, etc. Possibly a medical exam. It is possible that the child is lying; it does happen and kids do make up stories to get back at adults they are mad at. I'm not saying she is lying (there is simply not enough known to make a conclusion either way) but we are still innocent until proven guilty in this country.

We chose to believe the OP... that considered the abuse real enough to put dad out on the street.

Yes it should have been reported sooner. But the calls to put the alleged abuse victim in a foster home and haul the man off to jail are a bit premature.

Not at all.

And Ohiogal has used the term "rape" several times. Rape is a very specific crime and is not one-in-the-same as sexual assault. Considering the insults you are flinging at the OP like she is the scum of the earth I would think you would know what rape means.

Are you a moron? Really, I am being serious. Are you the victim of some massive head trauma that impairs your ability to think?

Because, from your post, you are about to start the whole "she really wanted Daddy to do her" rant... and that will not be tolerated here. Period.

By the way, Oggy is a GAL... I assure you that she has extensive knowledge (as do the rest of us) of the nuances in the legal terms. Doesn't make the actual act any different, though.

Now I will probably be accused of defending a child molester. Ain't mob justice grand?

Wait a minute... is this Dad? I bet it is. Hi.

No, your daughter didn't enjoy your embraces and you are a sick jerk that should be drawn, quartered and burned at the stake. Then, your ashes should be mixed with salt and scattered.

I have scraped better and more morally valued things off the bottom of my shoe after leaving the stable.

 

[swalsh411]

Not at all.

People aren't sentenced to prison based solely on an accusation regardless of how horrific the alleged crime may be. Or do you not believe in the Fourth Amendment?

Are you a moron? Really, I am being serious. Are you the victim of some massive head trauma that impairs your ability to think?

No. Are you? Even when dealing with sensitive subjects I believe in using language correctly and using the right term to describe events. You cannot assume that one was raped because they were sexually assaulted. I'm not saying it didn't happen but you certainly do not have enough information to know that it did.

Isn't this is supposed to be a legal advice forum? How about using the legally correct definition of words?

No, your daughter didn't enjoy your embraces and you are a sick f*** that should be drawn, quartered and burned at the stake. Then, your ashes should be mixed with salt and scattered.

And you just proved my point about mob justice. That type of mentality is why we have a Constitutional right to due process. Why don't you try putting your brain back in and look at what I actually said? I said report it, investigate it, and then take appropriate action. Or if you think you're so right, point out where I said anything contrary to that.

 

[cyjeff]

People aren't sentenced to prison based solely on an accusation regardless of how horrific the alleged crime may be. Or do you not believe in the Fourth Amendment?

Oh, so now you are saying that victim's testimony is not enough for an arrest?

Are you also saying that such a crime may, also, involve a No Contact/Restraining Order?

No. Are you? Even when dealing with sensitive subjects I believe in using language correctly and using the right term to describe events. You cannot assume that one was raped because they were sexually assaulted. I'm not saying it didn't happen but you certainly do not have enough information to know that it did.

Isn't this is supposed to be a legal advice forum? How about using the legally correct definition of words?

I tell you what. Here is some homework for you.

Find me one state where the parent of a child having sex with that child is not included in the "rape" statute.

One.

And, apparently, you really don't understand the definition of rape. If there was penetration of ANY kind, it is rape.

We do not ask for the gory details here... but the term "sexually abused" has a specific meaning.

And you just proved my point about mob justice. That type of mentality is why we have a Constitutional right to due process. Why don't you try putting your brain back in and look at what I actually said? I said report it, investigate it, and then take appropriate action. Or if you think you're so right, point out where I said anything contrary to that.

Cool...

Investigate it? Your first words were "how certain is the OP that the abuse actually occurred? Has the man admitted to it?" thereby stating that the victim's testimony should be discounted and only if Dad was stupid enough to confess should the victim be taken seriously.

Then, as if to underline the point, you stated "It is possible that the child is lying; it does happen and kids do make up stories to get back at adults they are mad at."

So, dad didn't admit it and kids lie all the time about it anyway. Add in the whole "sexual assault is not rape and shouldn't be considered as such" crap, and you are basically accusing the victim of either lying, exaggerating or wanting it.

Wouldn't it be great if, right now, mom and bro were interrogating sis, the VICTIM of a sexual assault, about how everyone lies about this and she should fess up?

wow... maybe she will even think that, since no one believes her, she should just say it didn't happen and then daddy can come back home...

Wouldn't that be great??

And yes, at the first report of a sexual assault, the child may be removed at that time and placed for her own safety.

 

[Ohiogal]

I might regret entering this pit of vipers here.... but how certain is the OP that the abuse actually occurred?

Did you read the prior post? The OP has guaranteed his sister (and joemccalistr is the OP) that STEPDADDY will be put in jail for his crime so long as they can figure out how to keep getting money from him. Try rereading.

Has the man admitted to it?

The man does NOT have to admit to it.

It's not like child services will just come in and snatch the kid up; they will do an investigation, interviews, etc.

And if they do an investigation, they will interview the victim apart from the rest of the family and ask her what happened. They will also ask her when it happened and what was done -- if any legal action was taken. They will also interview the family members -- one of whom has no qualms about spilling all here. Now are you suggesting that the OP would LIE when questioned about what happened?

Possibly a medical exam.

Not necessarily. Depends on how long ago this happened as to whether a medical exam would be done.

It is possible that the child is lying; it does happen and kids do make up stories to get back at adults they are mad at. I'm not saying she is lying (there is simply not enough known to make a conclusion either way) but the accused are still innocent until proven guilty in this country.

And the accused is NOT here. The person who IS here is the sibling stating they (OP and mom) believe it happened. They did nothing but throw stepdaddy out of the house. So they BELIEVE the child was raped/sexually abused, but because of the money coming in from the perpetrator they have done nothing about it. Again, how much money is worth NOT prosecuting this person or pursuing it. If they believe the child was molested and did nothing then they basically are pimping her out.

Yes it should have been reported sooner. But the calls to put the alleged abuse victim in a foster home and haul the man off to jail are a bit premature.

Actually no. The calls to remove the victim is NOT premature because the people who know about the alleged incident BELIEVE it happened and have NOT pursued legal protections for the child. WHY? Because they are profiting from the perpetrator -- the man they believe committed the crime.

And Ohiogal has used the term "rape" several times. Rape is a very specific crime and is not one-in-the-same as sexual assault.

Considering the fact that this was a STEPPARENT who was involved with a CHILD under their care -- guess what? That is rape.

Considering the insults you are flinging at the OP like she is the scum of the earth I would think you would know what rape means.

OP appears to be a MALE. I know what rape means. I have dealt with children like this OP's sister. I have several children on my caseload that have been through this.

edit: Now I will probably be accused of defending a child molester. Ain't mob justice grand?

No one said take the man out and shoot him. What was stated was that OP is JUST AS GUILTY for doing nothing as the man he believes raped/molested/sexually assaulted his sibling. The man he believes got something from his sister -- sexual gratification. HE (OP) has received monetary support. Can you wrap your mind about that?

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh and yes, mom could be in legal trouble for not reporting this sooner. She could be seen as being complicit or an accessory after the fact. As could OP if OP is not a minor.