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  1. #1
    electric999 is offline Junior Member
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    ? and concern about office of children & youth.

    (PLEASE READ I NO THIS IS LONG I REALLY NEED HELP) What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

    I have edited this and made my own thread, I apologize and you are correct stealth2, I didn't have internet access earlier today.

    Ok, this is the situation, I reported my ex to the office of children and youth about my 13 yr old son. My son was diagnosed with cancer several months ago and his mother has not been treating him very well. I am pretty sure there has not been any physical abuse, although she has been charged with Physical abuse in the past and has a violent history (criminal record assault, harassment ect...). The complaint had to do with mom giving him his medication that was needed during his time at home in between stays at the hospital for chemo ect... she also drinks often while around him as does her new husband. They fight arguing, yelling with each other around my son and also are both constantly fighting and or yelling at him. They are often fighting, yelling, arguing with myself also. Now I know that one of the main things for a cancer patient is to not be stressed out, doctors always say that you have to be very supportive and keep any type of issues away from cancer patients such as the above mentioned and they generally need to be as stress free as possible when dealing with a life threatening illness. I think even without the cancer these things (drinking and fighting with and around children is unacceptable) mental abuse can be damaging to children as well.

    This is where the big problem comes in, office of children and youth told myself that they could definitely look into this and that this type of behavior is inappropriate at or around children with or without an illness. Now office of children & youth investigated this complaint like this. They waited a few weeks and set up an appointment to meet with the mother and my son. They had a private meeting with mother and than with my son, than with both. The mother told her side during her meeting, my son told his side during his meeting and than with both of them together the mother according to my son was lying to the ocy investigator and spoke up several times to say that is not true it happened like this and such. The ocy investigator went on to threaten my son with a foster home saying that he would not be able to go stay with dad or mom because there were problems with dad also. This ocy investigator told my son at one point that "no it didn't happen like that your dad is trying to manipulate you" he got up and walked out of this meeting because he was so upset he felt like he was being attacked by ocy and his mother.

    Ok, now about 3 or 4 weeks later they contact myself and set up a meeting, first the ocy lady shows up 2 hours late to meet with me, than they won't hardly let me speak. I tried to show evidence that the allegations this lady kept throwing at me from my ex were not true and the ocy investigator refused to look at any of this. The lady from ocy went on to tell myself that my son had made allegations toward me, she said that my son had made numerous complaints about myself.

    I called ocy only after numerous complaints came from my son about his mother and her husband. Ok, now my 13 yr olds older brother that lives with me, he is 16. This ocy investigator left my house and went to my 16 yr old sons school and talked with him, she told him that I was unfit and that my younger son did not feel safe with myself.

    Both kids 13 yr old & 16 yr old say that this ocy investigator said her own negative things about myself, but the lady from ocy claims it came from the children. This lady at ocy is, according to the 13 yr old child, putting words into his mouth and going to the school of his older brother and telling him that his father is unfit. I believe both kids because first off, I called ocy due to numerous complaints from my 13 yr old son about his mother over a period of time. Secondly, this lady at ocy was unwilling to look at evidence that would show some of moms accusations were untrue. I also found out later that this ocy investigator met with mom again for a third time before she even had one meeting with myself.

    I know that you can file a complaint with ocy but that is asking an ocy employee to not believe one of there own. Of course, they say they investigated and although they had not talked to either child during investigating this ocy investigator they have come to a conclusion that both children are lying, furthermore, they (ocy) has decided that I have committed neglect on my 16 year old son, whom was really not even involved in the original complaint.

    Sorry this is so long but I wanted to be as detailed as possible so that you would understand clearly and perhaps be able to answer the question below.

    Can ocy and or the investigator be sued? What would the suit consist of, it seems that both children say this lady is lying and putting words into there mouths.
    What charges could be filed and or damages against ocy if any?
    Any help would be greatly appreciated.
  2. #2
    WittyUserName is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by electric999 View Post
    (PLEASE READ I NO THIS IS LONG I REALLY NEED HELP) What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

    I have edited this and made my own thread, I apologize and you are correct stealth2, I didn't have internet access earlier today.

    Ok, this is the situation, I reported my ex to the office of children and youth about my 13 yr old son. My son was diagnosed with cancer several months ago and his mother has not been treating him very well. I am pretty sure there has not been any physical abuse, although she has been charged with Physical abuse in the past and has a violent history (criminal record assault, harassment ect...). The complaint had to do with mom giving him his medication that was needed during his time at home in between stays at the hospital for chemo ect... she also drinks often while around him as does her new husband. They fight arguing, yelling with each other around my son and also are both constantly fighting and or yelling at him. They are often fighting, yelling, arguing with myself also. Now I know that one of the main things for a cancer patient is to not be stressed out, doctors always say that you have to be very supportive and keep any type of issues away from cancer patients such as the above mentioned and they generally need to be as stress free as possible when dealing with a life threatening illness. I think even without the cancer these things (drinking and fighting with and around children is unacceptable) mental abuse can be damaging to children as well.

    This is where the big problem comes in, office of children and youth told myself that they could definitely look into this and that this type of behavior is inappropriate at or around children with or without an illness. Now office of children & youth investigated this complaint like this. They waited a few weeks and set up an appointment to meet with the mother and my son. They had a private meeting with mother and than with my son, than with both. The mother told her side during her meeting, my son told his side during his meeting and than with both of them together the mother according to my son was lying to the ocy investigator and spoke up several times to say that is not true it happened like this and such. The ocy investigator went on to threaten my son with a foster home saying that he would not be able to go stay with dad or mom because there were problems with dad also. This ocy investigator told my son at one point that "no it didn't happen like that your dad is trying to manipulate you" he got up and walked out of this meeting because he was so upset he felt like he was being attacked by ocy and his mother.

    Ok, now about 3 or 4 weeks later they contact myself and set up a meeting, first the ocy lady shows up 2 hours late to meet with me, than they won't hardly let me speak. I tried to show evidence that the allegations this lady kept throwing at me from my ex were not true and the ocy investigator refused to look at any of this. The lady from ocy went on to tell myself that my son had made allegations toward me, she said that my son had made numerous complaints about myself.

    I called ocy only after numerous complaints came from my son about his mother and her husband. Ok, now my 13 yr olds older brother that lives with me, he is 16. This ocy investigator left my house and went to my 16 yr old sons school and talked with him, she told him that I was unfit and that my younger son did not feel safe with myself.

    Both kids 13 yr old & 16 yr old say that this ocy investigator said her own negative things about myself, but the lady from ocy claims it came from the children. This lady at ocy is, according to the 13 yr old child, putting words into his mouth and going to the school of his older brother and telling him that his father is unfit. I believe both kids because first off, I called ocy due to numerous complaints from my 13 yr old son about his mother over a period of time. Secondly, this lady at ocy was unwilling to look at evidence that would show some of moms accusations were untrue. I also found out later that this ocy investigator met with mom again for a third time before she even had one meeting with myself.

    I know that you can file a complaint with ocy but that is asking an ocy employee to not believe one of there own. Of course, they say they investigated and although they had not talked to either child during investigating this ocy investigator they have come to a conclusion that both children are lying, furthermore, they (ocy) has decided that I have committed neglect on my 16 year old son, whom was really not even involved in the original complaint.

    Sorry this is so long but I wanted to be as detailed as possible so that you would understand clearly and perhaps be able to answer the question below.

    Can ocy and or the investigator be sued? What would the suit consist of, it seems that both children say this lady is lying and putting words into there mouths.
    What charges could be filed and or damages against ocy if any?
    Any help would be greatly appreciated.
    Dad, please explain the bolded. Mom is giving the child his meds or not giving the child his meds?

    You might possibly have an issue there. However, I will say that yelling/arguing/stressful behavior is not going to be enough to have the child removed from the home. (I'm not sure if that's what your goal was, or what kind of goal you had in mind.) Also, OCY is definitely not going to be able to make mom stop yelling, even if the child is a cancer patient. Just....not. I will also tell you from personal experience that cancer treatment is extremely difficult for the parents and siblings as well as the child. No one is likely to be at their best, frankly.

    Also, OCY has decided you are neglecting the 16 year old. Which may affect your credibility in future.

    So can you sue? Sure. People sue all the time. Does it mean you'll get anywhere with charges/damages? I'm not seeing it.

    What exactly would you like to achieve, here?
  3. #3
    electric999 is offline Junior Member
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    "dad, please explain the bolded. Mom is giving the child his meds or not giving the child his meds?:"
    I did not mean to make that in bold, however are you aware of Neupogen? this is the shot my son had to get while he was not in the hospital. His mother drinks all the time, she broke a needle off in his arm can you put 2 + 2together. I will point out the obvious that you didn't see before you were aware of the shots, cancer=serious meds=administering while under the influence. Do they allow doctors or nurses to administer drugs to patients while they are under the influence? I am very sorry you did not see this clearly. If I have to point it out to you, than I probably don't see a point in pointing it out to you.

    "You might possibly have an issue there. However, I will say that yelling/arguing/stressful behavior is not going to be enough to have the child removed from the home. (I'm not sure if that's what your goal was, or what kind of goal you had in mind.) Also, OCY is definitely not going to be able to make mom stop yelling, even if the child is a cancer patient. Just....not. I will also tell you from personal experience that cancer treatment is extremely difficult for the parents and siblings as well as the child. No one is likely to be at their best, frankly." I don't recall asking to have the child removed did I? Again, the obvious, is treating a kid like trash that needs all the support he can get in his time of need going to help him heal? Or could an unneccessary stressful environment actually affect his ability to get through the healing process? Now, on one occasion, step dad elected to give my son his shot while he was sleeping, thinking that would be funny to wake him up with a shot.

    I called them and asked if reporting this was the right thing to do. They told me that these things were not acceptible. According to the intake department, I did the right thing by calling this in, if it wasn't than they would not have investigated, they said they could help. Again, I thought this was obvious, but apparently not for you.

    "Also, OCY has decided you are neglecting the 16 year old. Which may affect your credibility in future.

    So can you sue? Sure. People sue all the time. Does it mean you'll get anywhere with charges/damages? I'm not seeing it."
    Apparently you are missing the point. Parents can get into trouble for putting words into there childrens mouth, correct, trying to manipulate them, right, of course only if it's proven. This lady is putting words into my sons mouth, he will no longer talk with ocy unless he has a witness after what this lady has done, both kids actually.
    This lady told my older son that I was an unfit parent and claimed that my 13 yr old does not want to be around me nor does he feel safe around me. Can people in these positions do this to children? Are you missing the point or am I missing something here.
    Should this ocy lady really be working around kids if this is how she is. Did you miss that point also?

    "What exactly would you like to achieve, here?"
    REALLY? I would have thought that it was rather obvious, this ocy lady did wrong with both of my kids. REALLY?
    After I complained about the handling of the case, her supervisor left her on the case and this was an obvious retaliation due to complaints against her at (OCY)
    and you want to what I would like to achieve here. REALLY? Did you really ask that question?

    What can be done to ocy, is all I want to know, this can be proven but jesus, you act like they did nothing wrong.

    WittyUserName, not sure what your deal is but I am looking for help because I think it is rather obvoius that OCY has abused there position.
    If you are going to act like that, please stay away from this topic, as I am looking for some type of help. I wonder how you would feel if you were wrongly accused of neglecting your child by someone that you were putting your trust into.
    Last edited by electric999; 10-21-2010 at 01:02 PM. Reason: add
  4. #4
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    We'd like to ask you that same question!

    What do YOU want to acheive here?

    You asked if you could sue. Legally, you can try. But my guess it'd be dismissed instantly.

    You have no proof of anything. Only your assumptions. You assume mom broke a needle in the arm because she was drunk. You don't know that. You weren't there. If you even try to imply you were, guess what? You'd be reported for allowing an intoxicated person to attempt inserting a needle into a child. So it's a no win situation for you.
  5. #5
    electric999 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isis1 View Post
    We'd like to ask you that same question!

    What do YOU want to acheive here?

    You asked if you could sue. Legally, you can try. But my guess it'd be dismissed instantly.

    You have no proof of anything. Only your assumptions. You assume mom broke a needle in the arm because she was drunk. You don't know that. You weren't there. If you even try to imply you were, guess what? You'd be reported for allowing an intoxicated person to attempt inserting a needle into a child. So it's a no win situation for you.
    I realize that Isis1, I don't doubt that any of those things against mom would be dismissed.
    I have proof against the OCY employee
    (trying to manipulate my son, threatening to put him in a foster home, telling my 16 yr old that I am an unfit parent and so on)
    Can they really just screw someone over like that and get away with it even if I have proof?
  6. #6
    SESmama is offline Member
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    Now wait a minute. You asked if you could sue OCY. It was answered kindly. What I am hearing is you are asking if you can sue OCY but are not doing anything about getting the child out of the situation? Sounds to me like there are some mixed up prioroties.

    However, I could be wrong and you could be suing for custody of the younger child. If that is the case then you may have shot yourself in the foot by alienating OCY.

    Seniors please feel free to boot me in the rear if I am wrong.
  7. #7
    electric999 is offline Junior Member
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    Custody conference in November. Ocy could hurt that with there false accusations with the way the investigation was handled.
    My sister posted on here about a PFA order a week or so ago, and I remember when her son got that PFA against his father, OCY went into court to testify on dads behalf trying to keep the PFA from being granted. I admit I should have known better than to even call them but I did and now I have to deal with it. I am a school teacher and really don't need OCY giving me problems.
    Last edited by electric999; 10-21-2010 at 01:43 PM.
  8. #8
    Isis1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by electric999 View Post
    I realize that Isis1, I don't doubt that any of those things against mom would be dismissed.
    I have proof against the OCY employee
    (trying to manipulate my son, threatening to put him in a foster home, telling my 16 yr old that I am an unfit parent and so on)
    Can they really just screw someone over like that and get away with it even if I have proof?
    Honey, unless you have audio recording of mom's interveiws, the child's interveiws, the interveiws with them together, plus any and all interveiw with yourself, plus transcripts of these meetings, and a professional witness to testify the items discussed were lies against you, you have no case.

    But if your bored enough, start the process.
  9. #9
    WittyUserName is offline Senior Member
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    Look, OP, I know you are stressed. But I asked you those questions for a reason.

    1 - Yes, I am very familiar with Neupogen. My daughter's first prescription started at the ripe olfd age of 5 months. But based on your original post, I have no idea if Mom is merely late with child's pills or ignoring the prescription completely or what. Which is why I asked, so we could get an idea of the level of medical neglect. No need to get all huffy. Presumably the needle required medical treatment, so what did the Dr. say? They are mandated to report if they think there's an issue - so did they see an issue or an accident?

    2 - I honestly think you called the wrong folks. OCY, and child protective services in other states, are the people one calls when the child is in immediate danger of harm from parental abuse or neglect. If you are not wanting the child out of the home, why call them? They unfortunately lack the power to turn crappy, no-parenting-skills people into Mom of the year. They look for abuse, neglect, and physical risk. Not to get into who-is-the-better-parent subjective stuff. No one is saying Mom's behavior is great. But she does have constitutionally protected rights.

    3 - You are asserting something that is incredibly hard to prove. Yes it's wrong to manipulate kids. But she is also allowed to report her perceptions of the situation. Just as you are.

    4 - I agree with SESmama. You are all kinds of concerned about OCY when perhaps you should be focused elsewhere. And what you think is hardcore proof may not be. But feel free to seek legal advice from local counsel; bring your checkbook. That gets spendy.

    5 - YES I would LOVE to know what you are seeking. Because frankly you come across rather petulant, seeking to get someone fired and/or monetary damages. Getting all peeved at answers? Please realize that we are a thousand times easier than opposing counsel would be in a court of law.

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