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  1. #1
    Imafraid is offline Junior Member
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    Cops not treating my case as a priority

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New york

    Sunday moring at 6 30 am i was awoken by my boyfriend who said he had went through my phone. I then openly admitted that i cheated last august and the kid i had cheated with had started texting me but i wasent interested. I truely didnt care because he had got caught cheating last year as well and the past was the past. I turned over and said well talk about this later i was tired. He then started chocking me. He dragged me by my ankles to the kitchen. I started apologizing because i was scared. Then he said you want to act like a slut im gonna treat you like a slut and poured beer over my head. He then took me by my arms and put me in the shower he said he needed to wash the sluttyness off of me... I started crying bc it was so deranged i thought he was going to kill me. He handed me a towel and then took it away. I went to put my clothes on but he said i wasent allowed to dress. I begged him to please let me put my clothes on but he said no i started screaming. He threw me on the bed and hit me in my face with sneakers in a shoe box. My nose started bleeding. I started screaming help and he tried to suffocate me with a pillow. I wriggled free and ran to the kitchen to look for a phone i was hyperventalating. He said o you want the phone and back handed me with the phone. Mind you im still naked. I started screaming and we wrestled i grabed a shirt and pants and made my way to the door. I ran so fast to a friends house. I came back home after meeting up w my step father and he stayed with me. Im covered head to toe with bruises and i went to the cops monday at 11 am its now friday and they have yet to arrest him. What should i do? He has 2 previous assualt charges and an open assualt case. I dont feel that they are taking my case serious.
  2. #2
    davidmcbeth3 is offline Senior Member
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    you can certainly call up the PD and ask if they lost your complaint. it may be that the police did not believe you.
  3. #3
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
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    All because they have not arrested him does not mean they are not taking the matter seriously. It might be that the nature of the offense prevents a custodial arrest without a warrant. Or, it could be they have not yet contacted him to arrest him. Or, it might be that they have submitted the complaint to the DA and will be waiting for an arrest warrant.

    All because you make a report does not automatically mean that they can go hunt him down and arrest him. And even if they can make the arrest, they may not have the manpower or staffing to spend hours looking for him. If he doesn't answer the door, they may be out of luck until they get a warrant.

    Your best bet might be to call them up and ask for the status of the case. Understand, also, that your case is not the only case they are investigating.
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  4. #4
    Imafraid is offline Junior Member
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    Well the cop who took my statement was rushing to go to lunch so she filled out my forms wrong. As for not believe me he has priors and an open assualt case. I am 4 foot 10 120 pounds he is 198 pounds and 6 foot tall. I finally regained the use of my left hand 2 days ago. Both arms are purple. I have bruises on my chest plata. My but has belt marks and my thighs and legs have bruises. As far as believe me you have to be joking. I need to speak to a laywer.
  5. #5
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Are your injuries documented? Did you go to the ER? Why did you wait until Monday to report the assault?

    And... the cops have no way of knowing who assaulted you - only your word. They do need to investigate.
  6. #6
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    Hon, I know it's hard getting out of an abusive relationship. This is abusive. But your case really isn't the only one. Your case may not be the priority of the PD at this time. You don't know what cases they have at this moment. Your case will be your priority. You don't know if they are in the middle of trying to bust a child porn ring involving kids being raped. You don't know if they are working tracking down a serial murdered or rapist. You don't know. It's like going to the ER. They handle what is most urgent at the time rather than going down the list in order of what comes in, and they don't have the luxury of sitting there waiting for a case to come in to get right to work on it, like in the Andy Griffith Show.

    You can call the DA and see if they can tell you what's going on.

    Make sure you're taking lots of bruises. Photos are evidence. And a lot of time is spent waiting.
  7. #7
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imafraid View Post
    Well the cop who took my statement was rushing to go to lunch so she filled out my forms wrong. As for not believe me he has priors and an open assualt case. I am 4 foot 10 120 pounds he is 198 pounds and 6 foot tall. I finally regained the use of my left hand 2 days ago. Both arms are purple. I have bruises on my chest plata. My but has belt marks and my thighs and legs have bruises. As far as believe me you have to be joking. I need to speak to a laywer.
    Did you go to the doctor? What do the medical records state? Why did you wait over 24 hours to report this to the police? How quickly do you think they should work when you waited more than 24 hours to report this PRIORITY?
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  8. #8
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    Are your injuries documented? Did you go to the ER? Why did you wait until Monday to report the assault?

    And... the cops have no way of knowing who assaulted you - only your word. They do need to investigate.
    Or I could have just said DITTO.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  9. #9
    Imafraid is offline Junior Member
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    I waited bc i was ashamed ... We dont have kids together .... Your not really answering my question .... Even though i waited 24 hours does not make it ok .... Yes i went to the hospital its bc the officer who put it in the system put in the wrong birthdate .... He had court tuesday still wasent picked up bc of their neglience hes been emailing me threats and i have been forwarding them to the dective on my case ..... His most funniest was now that you have me on the run you will forever have to wonder of my presence
  10. #10
    cbg
    cbg is offline Senior Member
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    If by, "what can I do?" you mean, how can I force the cops to take the action that I want them to take when I want them to take it, the answer is, you can't. You've reported it. You've continued to pass on the subsequent threats. They cannot arrest him just on your say-so. That's not the way the law works in this country. If it did, then your ex could tell the cops that you attacked him, whether it was true or not, and they could then come and arrest YOU. Is that what you want?

    I understand that you're scared, and you have a right to be. But which would you prefer - that the cops take their time to do an effective investigation and have all the appropriate warrants and paperwork and proof before they arrest him, and have it stick; or that they just go out and arrest him right now and have him released because his rights (yes, he still has rights under the law) were violated? And then have him come attack you again?
    Two things I am tired of typing: 1.) A wrongful termination does not mean that you were fired for something you didn't do; it means that you were fired for a reason prohibited by law. 2.) The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding contract or CBA expressly says otherwise. If it does, the terms of the contract apply.
  11. #11
    st-kitts is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imafraid View Post
    I waited bc i was ashamed ... We dont have kids together .... Your not really answering my question .... Even though i waited 24 hours does not make it ok .... Yes i went to the hospital its bc the officer who put it in the system put in the wrong birthdate .... He had court tuesday still wasent picked up bc of their neglience
    The legal process works slowly. Investigators often build cases for months, even years, prior to making an arrest. If you had called the police when the incident was occurring, the response would have been different, but the investigation would be easier and the case more cut and dry. And actually, DV is never very cut and dry since the nature of things that happen inside the house is that there aren't a lot of credible witnesses to bring an unbiased report.

    I suggest that you reach out to the National Domestic Violence hotline and ask for a (free) referral to the nearest outreach office to speak with a LOCAL domestic violence advocate. An advocate might suggest you get a civil no restraining order while you wait and see about criminal charges. This would stop him from contacting you. An advocate would likely attend court with you when you request the restraining order (for free) and filing the order would likely be free as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by Imafraid View Post
    He had court tuesday still wasent picked up bc of their neglience hes been emailing me threats and i have been forwarding them to the dective on my case ..... His most funniest was now that you have me on the run you will forever have to wonder of my presence
    I realize that you are being tongue in cheek when you call his veiled threat "funny." Your user name is I'm afraid, and I sense that you are afraid. Listen to your gut. If you are fearful, don't ignore those feelings. In many cases, separation violence is actually greater, and more lethal, than violence during an abusive relationship thus leaving a violent relationship often increases the level of violence, at least for a while. Please develop a safety plan as to what you will do if he comes to your current residence, sees you in public, etc. If you have suspicion that you aren't safe where you staying, consider shelter.

    This is also great link with state specific links to government and social services for DV victims.

    [url=http://www.aardvarc.org/]AARDVARC.org - Home[/url]

    Be safe and good luck.
    Last edited by st-kitts; 03-31-2012 at 12:57 PM.
  12. #12
    Hot Topic is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imafraid View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New york

    Sunday moring at 6 30 am i was awoken by my boyfriend who said he had went through my phone. I then openly admitted that i cheated last august and the kid i had cheated with had started texting me but i wasent interested. I truely didnt care because he had got caught cheating last year as well and the past was the past. I turned over and said well talk about this later i was tired. He then started chocking me. He dragged me by my ankles to the kitchen. I started apologizing because i was scared. Then he said you want to act like a slut im gonna treat you like a slut and poured beer over my head. He then took me by my arms and put me in the shower he said he needed to wash the sluttyness off of me... I started crying bc it was so deranged i thought he was going to kill me. He handed me a towel and then took it away. I went to put my clothes on but he said i wasent allowed to dress. I begged him to please let me put my clothes on but he said no i started screaming. He threw me on the bed and hit me in my face with sneakers in a shoe box. My nose started bleeding. I started screaming help and he tried to suffocate me with a pillow. I wriggled free and ran to the kitchen to look for a phone i was hyperventalating. He said o you want the phone and back handed me with the phone. Mind you im still naked. I started screaming and we wrestled i grabed a shirt and pants and made my way to the door. I ran so fast to a friends house. I came back home after meeting up w my step father and he stayed with me. Im covered head to toe with bruises and i went to the cops monday at 11 am its now friday and they have yet to arrest him. What should i do? He has 2 previous assualt charges and an open assualt case. I dont feel that they are taking my case serious.

    For someone who was the victim of a "surprise" assault, you sure seem to know the exact details of that assault.

    You knew the guy had two previous assault charges and one open assault charge against him, yet you admitted that you'd cheated on him and "truly" didn't care because he cheated on you? And didn't expect him to respond?

    Could be the police aren't rushing to solve the case because they don't believe you.
    Last edited by Hot Topic; 03-31-2012 at 12:59 PM.
  13. #13
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imafraid View Post
    Well the cop who took my statement was rushing to go to lunch so she filled out my forms wrong.
    What KIND of forms? And how do you know they were filled out "wrong?"

    The forms have little to nothing to do with the investigation. Unlike TV the law usually does not allow us to simply rush out a day after the event and arrest someone. TV gives that impression, but it is very often not the legal way to do it. It might also be that they have not yet found him.

    Understand that police investigations are limited by the law and by resources (manpower, money, time). They cannot always drop everything else they are doing to look into your case, serious as it might be. And in these days of ever-shrinking budgets and staffing, more and more cases will get set to the side as they have to prioritize resources. And in larger agencies, these reports are shuffled to a detective and that can cause further delays as a detective might have a caseload of a couple of dozen cases just as serious as yours.

    So, the fact you have waited less than a week for some sort of action is hardly cause for alarm.
    Last edited by CdwJava; 03-31-2012 at 03:54 PM.
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  14. #14
    not2cleverRed is offline Member
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    File an ex parte Order of Protection through Family Court or a TRO through Justice Court. This is separate from the complaint you filed, and whatever the DA does with that.
  15. #15
    Imafraid is offline Junior Member
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    For someone who was the victim of a "surprise" assault, you sure seem to know the exact details of that assault.

    You knew the guy had two previous assault charges and one open assault charge against him, yet you admitted that you'd cheated on him and "truly" didn't care because he cheated on you? And didn't expect him to respond?

    Could be the police aren't rushing to solve the case because they don't believe you.

    Well gee thats nice ... i know the details so well be i keep replaying it over and over in my head ..... as for as his previous assualt charges

    [url]http://iapps.courts.state.ny.us/webcivil/ecourtsMain[/url]

    you can view for free public records .... but you know what that kind of response is exactly why people dont seek help ... shame on you for even saying such a thing ...... and yes i openly admitted i cheated .... i needed to get it off my chest ..... fyi thats not against the law .... however, using me as your personal punching bag is ..... i dont need this .... i never should have went to the cops and i never should have seeked advise ..... i would have been better off just taking it at least i wouldnt still feel so dirty

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