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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010

    Is this cyber bullying/harrassment/slander...??

    North Carolina

    my ex got together w/my best friend in 2002. We seperated, but did not divorce until 2007, which I initiated, and then he married this woman one month later. Except for initially when it was so emotional, we've generally gotten along, with a few exceptions along the way. Last fall, another estranged friend of mine (ex friend, shall I say) and the new wife (remember, ex best friend) "friended" each other on Facebook. I kept a watch on them, knowing this would happen. Immediately afterwards, the new wife started making nasty posts about me on her and the other friends pages. HOWEVER, never were my name or my new husband's name ever used. It was clear and obvious who she was speaking about. Every post I put on mine, she would twist it to be about her, and snarl back on her own. I never retorted on mine, hoping it would bore her and she'd go away. It simply made it worse. In February, my ex sent me a FB message telling me to "go away" and don't respond because he would not even open the msg. I admit that I was watching them on Facebook, but did not make derogatory remarks about any of them. So, I stopped, and momentarily, so did she. Then it escalated again, and she made a comment about OUR wedding date that was quite ugly, and my husband sent her a message, telling her that he would need to visit my ex to put a stop to this. A phone call from my ex to my husband seemed to have resolved that-so we thought. It continued, and then she sent a really horrible message to my husband, full of LIES and accusations, and threatnening to "do something" if it did not stop!! What did not stop? We were doing nothing-but continuously being told that we were stalking, when we were doing absolutely nothing. We did not respond, just left it alone. Another message came to my work email, supposedly from my husband, (I believe she sent it) saying to "leave them alone, etc" or they would do something to stop it. We do not know where this is coming from, and they ARE STILL posting stuff on their FB, and I made mine private-I checked my ex's, and he posted "Ding Dong, the bitch is GONE! LOL" and then commented below that he wasn't talking about his WIFE, but "their stalker".
    The worst of it is, our kids (mine and the ex's) are 19 and 20 yrs old, and "friends" of all of us on FB. So they can read this info. Another mutual friend posted something about "people needing to be hit in the face" and my reply was "yup" and the EX replied "^..two times"...(pointing to my post) I feel this is a physical threat to me, especially after everything else has happened. I removed my post. I have 8 pages of "copied and pasted" from these pages, EVERYTHING-some of it was removed, but most not. Not sure what to do about this, they are starting to "friend my friends" and family, too. I guess so they can see "what a horrible person I really am". Please advise as to what legal aspect I can take to stop this cyber bullying. Thank you. I apologize for this long post!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Stuck in a glue trap under your bed
    You could stop reading their fb pages and try getting on with your life and stop caring what they're doing with theirs.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Lime Tree Arbour
    Quote Originally Posted by Eekamouse View Post
    You could stop reading their fb pages and try getting on with your life and stop caring what they're doing with theirs.

    Excellent advice.

    (OP, fwiw I had the same problem with my ex-husband and his new wife; I simply unfriended the twits, ignored their shenanigans and frankly...well...I don't really give a flying ferret fart what they're up to. If they are intent on keeping tabs on me? Good luck to 'em. It says a whole heck of a lot more about them than it does me!)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2002
    I think all four of you need to grow up.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    I think all four of you need to grow up.
    No kidding. It was hard enough to believe any of them were old enough to be married. I couldn't believe it when I got to the part that says they have 20 year old children.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010

    First, you need to check and see if NC has cyberbullying laws. Only if they have passed them can ANYONE be charged with cyberbullying/online stalking etc.

    Second, you say you were 'keeping tabs on them' well sometimes this can be mistaken for stalking as well. You were divorced from him and your friendship with her was obviously over why do you need to 'keep tabs' on them? Are you as libel as they are in this matter (look at it the way others might and you just might be surprised into finding that your actions do not seem as innocent as you might have meant them).

    I have been dealing with a similar situation with my mother-in-law however I do not have a facebook (just too many problems and crap associated with it) and so I do not 'get' to read all the nasty crap she has been posting about my husband and myself (we just hear about it from everyone else). For me this is a Godsend because NO ONE (especially her) can ever say, "Well they posted this" or misread my posts thereby further exacerbating the problem. I understand that facebook is a way to stay in touch with family, friends, etc. but a phone call is much kinder and more fun. My advice, delete your Facebook account and all the contacts in it. If you really MUST have Facebook then create a new account with a new name and make it private. Block ALL messages coming from these people and then vow to never visit their pages or read posts that they leave for 'your' friends and family about you.

    To everyone else with the comments about facebook, I am a high school teacher and you would not believe some of the nonsense that teenagers put on it and what they are doing to each other. Cyberbullying is very real and puts the old-fashioned 'school yard bully' to shame.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Quote Originally Posted by AbusedbyMnL View Post
    To everyone else with the comments about facebook, I am a high school teacher and you would not believe some of the nonsense that teenagers put on it and what they are doing to each other. Cyberbullying is very real and puts the old-fashioned 'school yard bully' to shame.
    However, in many - if not most - cases, FB, MySpace, etc., are benign and operate as one would expect them to. Bullies are bullies, and will find one way or another to torment one others if allowed to. The solutions is less about shutting down the avenues for all, and more for adults about teaching the few better. Of course, that also involves parents being willing to accept that their kid may be the bully.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Here's the statute in North Carolina:

    S 14-196.3

    The following definitions apply in this section:
    Electronic communication. - Any transfer of signs, signals, writing, images, sounds, data, or intelligence of any nature, transmitted in whole or in part by a wire, radio, computer, electromagnetic, photoelectric, or photo-optical system.
    Electronic mail. - The transmission of information or communication by the use of the Internet, a computer, a facsimile machine, a pager, a cellular telephone, a video recorder, or other electronic means sent to a person identified by a unique address or address number and received by that person.
    It is unlawful for a person to:
    Use in electronic mail or electronic communication any words or language threatening to inflict bodily harm to any person or to that person's child, sibling, spouse, or dependent, or physical injury to the property of any person, or for the purpose of extorting money or other things of value from any person.
    Electronically mail or electronically communicate to another repeatedly, whether or not conversation ensues, for the purpose of abusing, annoying, threatening, terrifying, harassing, or embarrassing any person.
    Electronically mail or electronically communicate to another and to knowingly make any false statement concerning death, injury, illness, disfigurement, indecent conduct, or criminal conduct of the person electronically mailed or of any member of the person's family or household with the intent to abuse, annoy, threaten, terrify, harass, or embarrass.
    Knowingly permit an electronic communication device under the person's control to be used for any purpose prohibited by this section.
    Any offense under this section committed by the use of electronic mail or electronic communication may be deemed to have been committed where the electronic mail or electronic communication was originally sent, originally received in this State, or first viewed by any person in this State.
    Any person violating the provisions of this section shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor.
    This section does not apply to any peaceable, nonviolent, or nonthreatening activity intended to express political views or to provide lawful information to others. This section shall not be construed to impair any constitutionally protected activity, including speech, protest, or assembly. (2000-125, s. 1; 2000-140, s. 91.)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Somehow, I suspect actively seeking out commentary by the party you're claiming is abusing/harrassing you doesn't count. Especially if no names are named.

    Frankly, all parties in this situation need to grow up.

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