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Do i drop order of protection charges Do i have a say

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my3kidsok

Junior Member
Please Help Do i drop charges or not

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? new york

Have orp against husband. Hit my car, smashed home and cell phone. Charged with felony for car $1,000 worth of damange and 2 mistermineor for phone. Hes been 2 court twice already. Today at court they kept the order still in effect. I left a message with the DA last week saying, court was coming up and I wanted the order still in effect. Today he was upset because he wanted it reduced and wasnt. Do i have a say in the matter if i want to drop it. I was told no because the charges are with the state now. I would like to modify the order for the childrens sake. I just want to attend same functions for the children and meet once a week for diner with kids. He is a good dad. Just with me he is controlling and verbally abusive. He is attended Anger Management. Financially i cant afford it. He says, if i drop the charges he wouldn't keep on going to court. Is that so? He wants to lift the charges but Da said, No. Was it because i left her a message saying that? Would she reduced the order if i didnt say that? Can i make some decisions on what i want? Dont want husband to live home now but want some involvement. And already in dept so would like to end court hearings. Please help me. Thanks for your time.
 
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Banned_Princess

Senior Member
Im just going go ahead and modify this post, maybe it will make more sense.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? new york
Have orp against husband.
Now would this be a temp restraining order? a no contact order? a refrain from order?

He Hit my car, smashed home and cell phone. Charged with felony for car $1,000 worth of damange and 2 mistermineor for phone. Hes been 2 court twice already
Thats serious charges of property damage.

Today at court they kept the order still in effect. I left a message with the DA last week saying, court was coming up and I wanted the order still in effect.
So last week you wanted to keep the order but now...

Today he was upset because he wanted it reduced and wasnt.
like something like that would be up to him. where's his lawyer?

Do i have a say in the matter if i want to drop it. I was told no because the charges are with the state now.
You were told right.

I would like to modify the order for the childrens sake.
Its not up to you and every victim "wants to change it for the childrens sake. just last week you wanted to keep the order. See why the state wont count on you?

I just want to attend same functions for the children and meet once a week for diner with kids.
I dare say your children are not covered by the order of protection. so dad can go to their functions, as long as your not there, and they can have dinner with him. but not you.

He is a good dad. Just with me he is controlling and verbally abusive. He is attended Anger Management. Financially i cant afford it. He says, if i drop the charges he wouldn't keep on going to court. Is that so?
NO that is NOT SO. YOU cannot drop anything. The STATE is prosecuting him now, and expect to find a supoena demanding you testify in the case, or be held in contempt. you are out of it now.

He wants to lift the charges but Da said, No
.

Its really funny how hes going in there demanding charges be lifted. please... did you really think he could go in court on felony property damage / domestic abuse charges and be like "your honer, I want to lift the charge" omg. :rolleyes:

Was it because i left her a message saying that? Would she reduced the order if i didnt say that?
Maybe maybe not. maybe the case is so good, they dont even need your testimony.

Can i make some decisions on what i want?
Not about his case, or charges, or anything like that.

Dont want husband to live home now but want some involvement.
Well then go to his court date, go to the DA in person. Tell her that he has moved out, but you would like a refrain from order in place of the no contact order, so as to be able to handle the exchanging of the kids, and being able to attend the same functions.

And already in dept so would like to end court hearings. Please help me. Thanks for your time.
EXTREMELY unlikely.

I suggest at this point you butt out, say nothing more then what I told you to tell the DA, and then thats it. it has nothing to do with you anymore.
 
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LdiJ

Senior Member
How do you even know what it is that he wants? He is not suppose to be have any contact with you. If he is, he is violating the order.

Are you sure that you are not considering this because he is still verbally abusing and controlling you?
 

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