Do I have to testify in court

[lynnie705]

What is the name of your state? HI
I have been subpoena (spelling?) to appear in court as a witness to a TRO violation that I have against my ex wifes bioyfriend for my 5 year old daughter. It was a minor violation (a short conversation on the phone) I want to drop the case but the prosecutor said that I cant drop the case. The reason why I want to drop the case is becasue I was advised by my counselor (whom me, my ex wife and her boyfriend are seeing) told me that it's the best thing to do. He felt that my daughter was not in any danger during the short conversation. We are currently going through counseling to work things out. Question is what will happen if I dont show up in court? Should I just go through with it? Someone please help me. Thanks in advance.

 

[ceara19]

Is this the same boyfriend that is/was/has been accused of SEXUALLY MOLESTING the child? If so, why in the hell are you going to counseling with this man. He is NOTHING to the child and should be removed from her life all together. If you don't show up to testify, a warrant could be issued for your arrest because you were subpoenaed.

 

[stealth2]

You realize that a subpoena is a court order, right?

 

[Ohiogal]

If you don't show up and testify you can be arrested.

 

[lynnie705]

Yes this is the same boyfriend that was accused of sexually molesting my daughter. But the counselor said that there is no actual evidence that hes actually molested her and that we should try to work things out outside of court. And that going to court and testifying against him would only make matters worse. And the thing is that my 5 year old daughter has also been subpoenad to appear in court to testify. The counselor thinks that it would be too much for my daughter. I kind of agree with him but at the same time just wanted a second opinion. I thank everyone for their advice!

 

[Zephyr]

you do realize that if your daughter was actually molested by this man- and you proceed with your current course of action- regardless of lack of evidence- there is a part of her that will absolutely HATE you 1 for not protecting her, and 2 for giving the sicko another chance

 

[ceara19]

Yes this is the same boyfriend that was accused of sexually molesting my daughter. But the counselor said that there is no actual evidence that hes actually molested her and that we should try to work things out outside of court. And that going to court and testifying against him would only make matters worse. And the thing is that my 5 year old daughter has also been subpoenad to appear in court to testify. The counselor thinks that it would be too much for my daughter. I kind of agree with him but at the same time just wanted a second opinion. I thank everyone for their advice!

Dropping the legal action is one thing. I agree that a 5 year old testifying in open court could be too traumatic, especially if there is little to no chance of a conviction. However, that in no way means that you should be in COUNSILING with this man. He isn't a parent, hell, he isn't even a spouse of a parent.

There is no reason not to continue the civil actions against this man and your ex. There was obviously enough evidence for a judge to limit this man's contact with your daughter. I can't see a family court judge being very happy with mom for choosing a man over her child, especially one accused of molesting the child.

Tell the counselor to kiss your ass, tell mom she needs to decide who is more important to her and tell the family court judge that mom is continuing to allow this man around your child.

If he is hurting her and you do nothing, or worse encourage a relationship by going to counseling with this man, you are just as guilty as mom for not protecting your child.

 

[lynnie705]

Dropping the legal action is one thing. I agree that a 5 year old testifying in open court could be too traumatic, especially if there is little to no chance of a conviction. However, that in no way means that you should be in COUNSILING with this man. He isn't a parent, hell, he isn't even a spouse of a parent.

There is no reason not to continue the civil actions against this man and your ex. There was obviously enough evidence for a judge to limit this man's contact with your daughter. I can't see a family court judge being very happy with mom for choosing a man over her child, especially one accused of molesting the child.

Tell the counselor to kiss your ass, tell mom she needs to decide who is more important to her and tell the family court judge that mom is continuing to allow this man around your child.

If he is hurting her and you do nothing, or worse encourage a relationship by going to counseling with this man, you are just as guilty as mom for not protecting your child.

Thank you very much for your honest advice.
I totally agree with you. I went to see the counselor today and he still insist on me dropping the case. I already told him that I have to go through with it. He kept telling me that it was just a small violation and that going to court is not necassary. But on the TRO it clearly says that there is to be NO CONTACT not even by phone and that I have to call 911 immediately if there was a violation and that was exactly what I did. My question is what is going to happen to my ex wife's boyfriend if he was found guilty? Is there any kind of legal action that I can take against my exwife for helping him violate the TRO? Thanks to everyone in advacne for their help.

 

[ceara19]

Thank you very much for your honest advice.
I totally agree with you. I went to see the counselor today and he still insist on me dropping the case. I already told him that I have to go through with it. He kept telling me that it was just a small violation and that going to court is not necassary. But on the TRO it clearly says that there is to be NO CONTACT not even by phone and that I have to call 911 immediately if there was a violation and that was exactly what I did. My question is what is going to happen to my ex wife's boyfriend if he was found guilty? Is there any kind of legal action that I can take against my exwife for helping him violate the TRO? Thanks to everyone in advacne for their help.

I'm not aware of any criminal action that could be taken against your ex. However, the family court judge will certainly NOT be pleased with this. I don't remember exactly where your custody case with her stands at this point (and I'm too tired to look it up right now) but I would DEFINATELY make sure that this gets to the family court. If she was ordered to keep him from the child, she violated the order and you could and SHOULD file a show cause for contempt. You may want to go so far as to ask that MOM have no contact with the child outside of SUPERVISED visitation (with a court approved visitation center or facilitator).

As far as the boyfriend, there's really no way of knowing what will happen, especially if there is a pending investigation or action on the molestation accusations. The best thing you can do is cooperate with the DA and continue to be there for your daughter. Also, keep up her counseling without the boyfriend (and it would probably be best to exclude mom at this point, it sounds like mom needs a bit of solo therapy to find out why she would choose a child molester over her own child),