Domestic violence?

[MMOMike]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan

Hello, this past weekend I was physically assaulted by My girlfriend. She was under the influence of alcohol at the time. The police were called by a neighbor, I stated that I did not want to press charges, however the police told me it was not my choice, the courts will decide. We have a 2 year old child ( who was not here at the time ) We live together.

She left rather large bruises on my neck and arms ( both of which the police photographed ) She was arrested that night and placed on a $5000 bail, I was able to pay 10% to get her out. As of now we are not allowed contact until after the court date ( 08/26/15)

This is her first offence, I am looking for any information or advice you are able to give. What should I expect her punishment to be? Is there anything I can do to help her? Since I am not allowed contact, can I still be at the court hearing for moral suppoort? Will she face more jail time? fines?

my MAIN CONCERN is our child. Will we still be able to live together after this? Will this affect her rights to her child? We are hoping to be able to live together again as a family after this, losing that right would be devestating to us.

Thank you to all who are able to offer me information or advice!

 

[single317dad]

I am looking for any information or advice you are able to give.

Terminate this relationship. This is not her first time being violent, and will not be her last. Next time it could easily be you heading off to jail for defending yourself.

Get out now.

 

[MMOMike]

We have been dating for 3 years, this is the first time we have had an experience such as this. I am more so looking for advice or info on the outcome of this case, charges fines etc, as opposed to relationship advice..I have never been involved with law trouble like this so I have zero Idea what to expect.

Thank you

 

[Ohiogal]

We have been dating for 3 years, this is the first time we have had an experience such as this. I am more so looking for advice or info on the outcome of this case, charges fines etc, as opposed to relationship advice..I have never been involved with law trouble like this so I have zero Idea what to expect.

Thank you

She drinks and got violent. She was arrested. The child was not there this time but what about next time? You could end up losing the child to foster care unless your girlfriend takes SERIOUS steps to remedy her behavior -- anger management, counseling and quitting drinking.

 

[MMOMike]

She drinks and got violent. She was arrested. The child was not there this time but what about next time? You could end up losing the child to foster care unless your girlfriend takes SERIOUS steps to remedy her behavior -- anger management, counseling and quitting drinking.

I understand, is it possible that the courts will allow us to stay together if she agrees to adhere to these steps to help remedy her behavior? Or is it likely that they will just terminate us and not allow her to be with me or our child? Is that even a possibility?

 

[Ohiogal]

I understand, is it possible that the courts will allow us to stay together if she agrees to adhere to these steps to help remedy her behavior? Or is it likely that they will just terminate us and not allow her to be with me or our child? Is that even a possibility?

It is a possibility HOWEVER you may need to make a choice between her and your child at some point. Especially if she ever acts this way again. YOU were bruised due to her. That is violence. If it had been the child, the charges would have been more serious AND the child possibly could have been removed. Is paternity established?

 

[MMOMike]

It is a possibility HOWEVER you may need to make a choice between her and your child at some point. Especially if she ever acts this way again. YOU were bruised due to her. That is violence. If it had been the child, the charges would have been more serious AND the child possibly could have been removed. Is paternity established?

Not legally because It has never been questioned. She has already agreed to stop drinking ( as have I ) and we are willing to go through any classes or counceling the courts decide.

My only worry is us being forced to be apart, I know her better than anyone else, and I know that what I saw was not her. I have drank with her hundreds of times and not once was she violent.

Do you know if domestic violence ends up in being forced to be apart afterwards ever? We would like to regain living together as soon as possible.

 

[torimac]

That should not be your only worry. If something happens that forces you to stay apart, then you have no legal right to the child as she is not legally your child. You need to get this taken care of asap. This is an issue not just with the current situation but anything that might force you to stay apart. For instance, if your girlfriend was in a car accident and had to stay in the hospital for an extended time, legally you have no child. Unless the girlfriend is awake and able to make her wishes known, then the child may go to another relative or foster care.

 

[stealth2]

Personally? I'd be filing for paternity establishment and physical custody of the child. Where is the little one now? With you or Mom? Please tell us that YOU did not move out, but insisted on her finding a place to stay.

More after you answer the questions.

 

[justalayman]

We live together.

I'll bet not for awhile.

She left rather large bruises on my neck and arms ( both of which the police photographed ) She was arrested that night and placed on a $5000 bail, I was able to pay 10% to get her out. As of now we are not allowed contact until after the court date ( 08/26/15)

actually chances are you will not be allowed contact for several months, if not longer.

This is her first offence, I am looking for any information or advice you are able to give. What should I expect her punishment to be?

that is the one good thing going for her. Michigan does have a deferral program for first time offenders of domestic violence.


http://www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(3p2zogbnxfwa4job5tagpkcv))/mileg.aspx?page=GetObject&objectname=mcl-769-4a

Is there anything I can do to help her?

help her hire a lawyer maybe?

Since I am not allowed contact, can I still be at the court hearing for moral suppoort?

yes but she is not allowed to speak to you, wave at you, hug you, touch you; anything.

Will she face more jail time? fines?

my MAIN CONCERN is our child. Will we still be able to live together after this?

depending on what court (where), you will likely be separated for several months.

anyway, what she should expect if placed on the deferral program:

probation for 6-12 months
no contact with you for several months up to the entire time of the probation
regular anger management sessions (weekly for 6-12 months)(at her cost)
court fees probably close to $1000.
community service; number of hours to be determined by the judge

this is likely to be the statute she is charged with (sec 2)

http://www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(zlpp5aqkcy1duviio5zmmscd))/mileg.aspx?page=GetObject&objectname=mcl-750-81