Domestic Violence and Children

[purplerose904]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida. I am writing to find out what the laws are to protect children in the state of Florida on violence in the home. For the past two years of my son's marriage there is nothing but violence in their home, both parents of my grandson, punch, spit, throw things at one another, holes in walls. I have seen my daugther in law hit my son many a times and vice a versa. But this needs to stop, my grandson is in the middle. I have called dcf several times to report the issues at hand, but since my daugther in law knows the wife of the commender office of the local police dept, everyone is sent away. Or cases are closed. And here sits my 2 year old grandson in the middle of the violence. But I can't do anything because I am only the grandmother. Who is protecting the children in Florida, not the laws. My grandson has gotten out of the house several times at his age of 2 and brought back home by police or neighbors, nothing is done. Cases are open and then closed. More violence happens in the home, and nothing is done. Here sits a child watching his parents hitting and throwing stuff at one another. Is the law waiting for the child to get hurt before something is done. I want to write letters to the people who handle these laws, and change them for the safety of the children. Please help me find who I need to write to, because I am really ready. Enough is enough.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida. I am writing to find out what the laws are to protect children in the state of Florida on violence in the home. For the past two years of my son's marriage there is nothing but violence in their home, both parents of my grandson, punch, spit, throw things at one another, holes in walls. I have seen my daugther in law hit my son many a times and vice a versa. But this needs to stop, my grandson is in the middle. I have called dcf several times to report the issues at hand, but since my daugther in law knows the wife of the commender office of the local police dept, everyone is sent away. Or cases are closed. And here sits my 2 year old grandson in the middle of the violence. But I can't do anything because I am only the grandmother. Who is protecting the children in Florida, not the laws. My grandson has gotten out of the house several times at his age of 2 and brought back home by police or neighbors, nothing is done. Cases are open and then closed. More violence happens in the home, and nothing is done. Here sits a child watching his parents hitting and throwing stuff at one another. Is the law waiting for the child to get hurt before something is done. I want to write letters to the people who handle these laws, and change them for the safety of the children. Please help me find who I need to write to, because I am really ready. Enough is enough.

If DCF is finding no wrongdoing, there is little else you can do.

But, a question - how exactly do you know what's going on there? Do you live with them?

 

[Hot Topic]

It's foolish for you to generalize that there are no laws in the entire state to protect children from violence in the home simply because neither your son nor daughter-in-law give a hoot about what you witness or claimed to have witnessed.

Although you'd like the blame to mostly reside with your daughter-in-law, who parented your son, who obviously enjoys physical violence toward women as much as she enjoys retaliating?

Florida will not give you custody.

I just don't see a big conspiracy here.

 

[Ohiogal]

If she has witnessed such violence and gave a hoot about it, she would have called the police IMMEDIATELY and had either her son or her DIL or both arrested. Not her choice who would get arrested but it would definitely have an instant affect.

 

[>Charlotte<]

There are several resources on the State of Florida's web site for domestic violence and child welfare issues.

The main site, if you can navigate it yourself, is:
http://www.myflorida.com/taxonomy/floridian/home%20and%20family/

These are specific centers with resources that can help you:
http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/domesticviolence/dvprogram/dvcenters.pdf

Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence
http://www.fcadv.org/legal.php

http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/abuse/

This might be the most helpful one. Lots of information, legal resources, and a link to an online reporting form
http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/abuse/report/index.asp

Don't give up. When you witness the abuse call the police. Call every agency you can. Explore every resource you can find within the links above and make a written list of numbers to call. When you do call, take notes including the names of the people you talk to.

Don't give up.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Although you'd like the blame to mostly reside with your daughter-in-law, who parented your son, who obviously enjoys physical violence toward women as much as she enjoys retaliating?

purplerose904 clearly stated that both her daughter-in-law and her son are equally abusive to each other.

 

[Hot Topic]

I realize, Charlotte, that the parents are abusive to each other. The son had the OP as a role model for how to parent. He has to know that it disturbs the OP when he and and his wife are engaged in mutual combat in front of the child and obviously doesn't care.

The OP seems to think that the daughter-in-law gets away with mutual combat with the OP's son in front of their child because of her friendship with someone in the police department. She leads off by saying she has seen her daughter-in-law hit her son and "vice versa." The insinuation is that the problem rests primarily with the daughter-in-law. The OP can't get justice for the child because of her daughter-in-law's tie to the police department.

Why is it that the OP got on this forum, yet she couldn't Google the internet and come up with the numerous resources you did?

 

[>Charlotte<]

I realize, Charlotte, that the parents are abusive to each other. The son had the OP as a role model for how to parent. He has to know that it disturbs the OP when he and and his wife are engaged in mutual combat in front of the child and obviously doesn't care.

The OP seems to think that the daughter-in-law gets away with mutual combat with the OP's son in front of their child because of her friendship with someone in the police department. She leads off by saying she has seen her daughter-in-law hit her son and "vice versa." The insinuation is that the problem rests primarily with the daughter-in-law. The OP can't get justice for the child because of her daughter-in-law's tie to the police department.

Why is it that the OP got on this forum, yet she couldn't Google the internet and come up with the numerous resources you did?

I understand your point and agree to some extent, but I don't see how she's placing the majority of the blame on the mother. She does blame the mother's "connections" as the reason nothing is being done (which I don't believe) but she's saying both parents are getting away with whatever's going on because of those connections.

 

[Hot Topic]

State of Florida, take responsibility for my grandchild and protect him from my son. Or give me custody because of the example I've set with my own parenting.

 

[>Charlotte<]

State of Florida, take responsibility for my grandchild and protect him from my son. Or give me custody because of the example I've set with my own parenting.

I think her question is more accurately "State of Florida, use your authority to protect my grandson."

And the charge that the son as a parent is only mimicking the kind of parent his mother was is unfair and, so far, unwarranted. I was a good parent but my son still did things that disappointed me. Also, in spite of the mistakes I made he's a fine young man of whom I'm very proud. In any case, he's too old to use "My mommy didn't raise me right" as an excuse. At some point we have to take responsibilities for ourselves. Unless he's mentally or intellectually challenged, he knows right from wrong--regardless of what kind of parents he had.