domestic violence, help me

[kere22]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? kansas
My husband and I have been married for 6 yrs. By mutual agreement I quit working 3 yrs ago to care for our son and my daughter.We have a 6 yr old son, I have a 14 yr lod daughter from a previous marriage and he has an 11 yr old daughter froma previous marriage. last week we were having an arguement about money and the level of involvement I allow in my daughters disapline. It got a little heated, and he called my daughter a whore, this upset me greatly, and I told him I was done with him. The next evening he started in on me again, this time berateing me, how I look, type of mom I am , anything to anger me, then he called my daughter a whore again, but this time, 4 or 5 times, and I snapped, I slapped him. I walked away after that and went to bed, a little while later, he came to get in bed, and I told him to sleep on the couch, he refused, and I nudged him, he grabbed my hand and twisted it back and tried to break it, my daughter witnessed this and called the police. They came out and ended up arresting me, because I slapped him first.Now I am out on a court supervised bond with no contact, I have both of my children with me, and he refuses to leave. I have no priors, my husband has a DWI and a domestic assault charge from a year ago. I am wondering why I am being prosicuted so hard when clearly he has anger issues, and prior dealings and my children and I are made to stay away from our home. I have filed for divorce and a bond modification as well as temproary orders that should let me and my kids back in our home, but I am still worried about this charge and the logic behind it.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? kansas
My husband and I have been married for 6 yrs. By mutual agreement I quit working 3 yrs ago to care for our son and my daughter.We have a 6 yr old son, I have a 14 yr lod daughter from a previous marriage and he has an 11 yr old daughter froma previous marriage. last week we were having an arguement about money and the level of involvement I allow in my daughters disapline. It got a little heated, and he called my daughter a whore, this upset me greatly, and I told him I was done with him. The next evening he started in on me again, this time berateing me, how I look, type of mom I am , anything to anger me, then he called my daughter a whore again, but this time, 4 or 5 times, and I snapped, I slapped him. I walked away after that and went to bed, a little while later, he came to get in bed, and I told him to sleep on the couch, he refused, and I nudged him, he grabbed my hand and twisted it back and tried to break it, my daughter witnessed this and called the police. They came out and ended up arresting me, because I slapped him first.Now I am out on a court supervised bond with no contact, I have both of my children with me, and he refuses to leave. I have no priors, my husband has a DWI and a domestic assault charge from a year ago. I am wondering why I am being prosicuted so hard when clearly he has anger issues, and prior dealings and my children and I are made to stay away from our home. I have filed for divorce and a bond modification as well as temproary orders that should let me and my kids back in our home, but I am still worried about this charge and the logic behind it.

you instigated the situation, that is why you were arrested. that's why you have a charge. lesson learned. keep your hands off someone that doesn't want to be touched. and next time (hopefully there isn't one) YOU sleep on the couch. he had anger issues a year ago. you clearly did not act then.

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? kansas
My husband and I have been married for 6 yrs. By mutual agreement I quit working 3 yrs ago to care for our son and my daughter.We have a 6 yr old son, I have a 14 yr lod daughter from a previous marriage and he has an 11 yr old daughter froma previous marriage. last week we were having an arguement about money and the level of involvement I allow in my daughters disapline. It got a little heated, and he called my daughter a whore, this upset me greatly, and I told him I was done with him. The next evening he started in on me again, this time berateing me, how I look, type of mom I am , anything to anger me, then he called my daughter a whore again, but this time, 4 or 5 times, and I snapped, I slapped him. I walked away after that and went to bed, a little while later, he came to get in bed, and I told him to sleep on the couch, he refused, and I nudged him, he grabbed my hand and twisted it back and tried to break it, my daughter witnessed this and called the police. They came out and ended up arresting me, because I slapped him first.Now I am out on a court supervised bond with no contact, I have both of my children with me, and he refuses to leave. I have no priors, my husband has a DWI and a domestic assault charge from a year ago. I am wondering why I am being prosicuted so hard when clearly he has anger issues, and prior dealings and my children and I are made to stay away from our home. I have filed for divorce and a bond modification as well as temproary orders that should let me and my kids back in our home, but I am still worried about this charge and the logic behind it.

The logic behind the charge is very simple- you ARE guilty of domestic violence.
You seem to think that it was not okay for him to have hit you a year ago (which you are correct about), but now you think that it was okay for you to hit him. It doesn't work that way, and you need to begin to understand that if you want to be able to begin to put your life in order.

You need to go ahead and get things started for getting help with YOUR anger issues, it will go along way when you go to court for this charge.

In the mean time, you should thank your lucky stars that there is a no contact order because it will protect you as much as it protects him.