Domestic Violence - Not sure what to do.

[cbg]

I gave it one for you. I'd give it two if I could.

 

[looking4help101]

more info

OK, I will give more information if I can.

I am 35 years old. My mother has been controlling all of my life. I never had friends growing up, I still don't have friends. I wasn't even allowed to spend the night at family members homes. My mother told me recently that she wasn't controlling but I would be getting social security, I had no choice. I tried getting a babysitting job a few years back and my mother told me no, I could not get the job.

The reason the domestic violence hotline wouldn't help me is because the abuse isn't coming from a husband or boyfriend. That's what they told me.

 

[looking4help101]

more

One counselor that I talked to told me that it sounded like I was being mentally, verbally and emotionally abused and that my mother was the one who needed counseling.

 

[Zigner]

How have you saved up money to pay for an apartment? Why don't you have a job?

 

[looking4help101]

more

One of the reasons my mother wants me on social security is because she will get money from them. Also, she will have much more control over me. She has a husband and another daughter who help her to confine me.

She picked a fight with me a few months ago and I told her that I wasn't going to fight with her. So she says "you don't want to fight?" I turned and walked to my room with her hot on my trails. I told her that I was leaving and she told me I wasn't going anywhere. We were in my room at this time. I said that I was calling the police because you can't hold someone against their will.she was already acting crazy. She took my phone. Her husband came in the room and shut the door and stood in front of it so that I couldn't get out. And my mother told him not to let me out. And he blocked the door and she kept telling him not to let me out and I was begging him to let me out. And he told me the door was stuck and he couldn't open it. So, I said I would go out the window.I got the window open and my mother grabbed my hair and pulled with all her strength and kept pulling and I was screaming out the window to please call the cops and my sister came running from down the street and joined in on helping my mother and step father. And then later on, I got a text from my mom apologizing for hurting me and she was rubbing my head and my hair and asking me why I was so depressed.

 

[looking4help101]

my mother controls my life

She always has, she wouldn't allow me to get a job. I have money from an accident that I was a victim of a few years ago. Also, I plan on getting a job soon. I have a vehicle now.

 

[looking4help101]

I know

I know that people don't understand why people stay in abusive situations. I was one of the people who didn't understand. Even though it was happening to me, I didn't understand but I do now.

They(We) stay because that's all we know. We've become used to it. We feel like we deserve it at times. We feel stuck. We feel hopeless and helpless. We are scared, terrified at times and we are prisoners. The good times can be really great but bad times can be and often are horrible and horrific.

In my situation, there are stretches of time where everything is great, everything is wonderful and then all of a sudden one day with no notice, no provocation, no warning its bad. And if you watch shows with or about domestic violence, you can totally relate. You think, omg, that's me. You think, that's what's happening to me, they are telling my story.


And I have extended family, they know what is going on but they all turn their heads and act like they don't see it. They obviously know my mother and they know how she is and they don't want to cross her path. The day my mother attacked me physically, I called members of my extended family and not 1 of them would help me move out then, not one of them stood by my side because no one wanted to deal with it or my mom.

 

[Proserpina]

One of the reasons my mother wants me on social security is because she will get money from them. Also, she will have much more control over me. She has a husband and another daughter who help her to confine me.

Can you explain that please?

She picked a fight with me a few months ago and I told her that I wasn't going to fight with her. So she says "you don't want to fight?" I turned and walked to my room with her hot on my trails. I told her that I was leaving and she told me I wasn't going anywhere. We were in my room at this time. I said that I was calling the police because you can't hold someone against their will.she was already acting crazy. She took my phone. Her husband came in the room and shut the door and stood in front of it so that I couldn't get out. And my mother told him not to let me out. And he blocked the door and she kept telling him not to let me out and I was begging him to let me out. And he told me the door was stuck and he couldn't open it. So, I said I would go out the window.I got the window open and my mother grabbed my hair and pulled with all her strength and kept pulling and I was screaming out the window to please call the cops and my sister came running from down the street and joined in on helping my mother and step father. And then later on, I got a text from my mom apologizing for hurting me and she was rubbing my head and my hair and asking me why I was so depressed.

Hon, I'm going to ask a delicate question.

Is there a reason that you can get online and post on forums, but you can't use the same phone/whatever to make some calls?