Don't really know what to do..

[Purple48]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

I recently contacted my husband and asking him for assistance. My children and I have been struggling financially and he claimed them on his taxes and received a refund. When I asked him if he could send us something for the month, he proceeded to ask me if I knew how much he f-ing hated me and that I should go and die. He said that our children are fatherless and that they are going to be motherless as well.

I don't know what he meant by that, but I am genuinely afraid. Is this a threat? What should I do? He has never said anything like that to me before. Our relationship during this separation has been ok for the most part up until a few weeks ago when he began dating his current gf. He began to be more moody and our children began to say that daddy yells a lot and is very mean to them when they visit. They have also mentioned that he smokes and drinks which is a surprise to me because I did not know he did any of that.

I am concerned for my children. I don't know what to do.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FL

I recently contacted my husband and asking him for assistance. My children and I have been struggling financially and he claimed them on his taxes and received a refund. When I asked him if he could send us something for the month, he proceeded to ask me if I knew how much he f-ing hated me and that I should go and die. He said that our children are fatherless and that they are going to be motherless as well.

I don't know what he meant by that, but I am genuinely afraid. Is this a threat? What should I do? He has never said anything like that to me before. Our relationship during this separation has been ok for the most part up until a few weeks ago when he began dating his current gf. He began to be more moody and our children began to say that daddy yells a lot and is very mean to them when they visit. They have also mentioned that he smokes and drinks which is a surprise to me because I did not know he did any of that.

I am concerned for my children. I don't know what to do.

Maybe he was angry. How do you feel about it though? Do you think it was a threat? Do you think he will hurt you? If yes then you can attempt to get a restraining order. What we think is a threat doesn't matter. What matters is if the court thinks it is a threat. Saying you should go and die may or may not be construed as a threat by the court.

Are you working? Have you filed for divorce? Have you filed for child support?

 

[LdiJ]

Maybe he was angry. How do you feel about it though? Do you think it was a threat? Do you think he will hurt you? If yes then you can attempt to get a restraining order. What we think is a threat doesn't matter. What matters is if the court thinks it is a threat. Saying you should go and die may or may not be construed as a threat by the court.

Are you working? Have you filed for divorce? Have you filed for child support?

Additional questions: How long have you been separated and with whom have the children been living?

 

[Purple48]

Maybe he was angry. How do you feel about it though? Do you think it was a threat? Do you think he will hurt you? If yes then you can attempt to get a restraining order. What we think is a threat doesn't matter. What matters is if the court thinks it is a threat. Saying you should go and die may or may not be construed as a threat by the court.

Are you working? Have you filed for divorce? Have you filed for child support?

I am afraid. I believe it is a threat. I have suffered a fractured arm while trying to shield myself from a chair he had thrown. I work temporary jobs. I clean rooms/offices at night and I go to school during the day. I have filed for divorce but he asked the court to delay it so that he could obtain a lawyer? I didn't file for support because we have an agreement and he pays me support. He also said he would help me if I needed anything extra which is why I didn't see a problem in asking. I didn't expect that response at all.

 

[Purple48]

Additional questions: How long have you been separated and with whom have the children been living?

We have been separated a few months. Maybe 4? The children have been living with me. We live with my sister.

 

[LdiJ]

We have been separated a few months. Maybe 4? The children have been living with me. We live with my sister.

In that case, it was probably appropriate that he claimed them on his taxes. Had you been separated longer than that, it might not have been appropriate.

What he said certainly sounded like a threat to me. However, I have no way of knowing whether or not a judge would perceive it as a threat.

 

[st-kitts]

I am afraid. I believe it is a threat. I have suffered a fractured arm while trying to shield myself from a chair he had thrown.

The fact you have been injured by your ex already makes his threat much more significant in my eyes, although your assessment of the threat and the potential for your husband to carry it out is more telling than anyone's assessment here, as OhioGal already aptly stated.

Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline and ask them for a referral to the nearest outreach office. Domestic violence outreach offices exist in many communities and employ advocates to help people in abusive relationships or leaving abusive relationships, people just like you.

Since you have fear for your safety, a restraining order may be a good option, but an advocate can better review your situation and also can tell you whether the local judges would be likely to grant an order given the facts and details of your case. If you do file for a restraining order, a local domestic violence advocate may be able to accompany you to court, and help you fill out the paperwork for the order. While an attorney is also a bonus, you do not need an attorney to apply for a restraining order.

There are many people that are willing and ready to help you if you reach out.

Good luck!

 

[Purple48]

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The fact you have been injured by your ex already makes his threat much more significant in my eyes, although your assessment of the threat and the potential for your husband to carry it out is more telling than anyone's assessment here, as OhioGal already aptly stated.

Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline and ask them for a referral to the nearest outreach office. Domestic violence outreach offices exist in many communities and employ advocates to help people in abusive relationships or leaving abusive relationships, people just like you.

Since you have fear for your safety, a restraining order may be a good option, but an advocate can better review your situation and also can tell you whether the local judges would be likely to grant an order given the facts and details of your case. If you do file for a restraining order, a local domestic violence advocate may be able to accompany you to court, and help you fill out the paperwork for the order. While an attorney is also a bonus, you do not need an attorney to apply for a restraining order.

There are many people that are willing and ready to help you if you reach out.

Good luck!

Thank you all for the advice and information. I will definitely contact the hotline today. Thanks again.

 

[Ladyback1]

I am afraid. I believe it is a threat. I have suffered a fractured arm while trying to shield myself from a chair he had thrown. I work temporary jobs. I clean rooms/offices at night and I go to school during the day. I have filed for divorce but he asked the court to delay it so that he could obtain a lawyer? I didn't file for support because we have an agreement and he pays me support. He also said he would help me if I needed anything extra which is why I didn't see a problem in asking. I didn't expect that response at all.

For the love all that is holy--get the money issue decided by court or mediator, and have it made official!

As to the abuse issue: contact your local domestic abuse shelter, they can help.

Keep documentation of everything that is said between you and the male half. If you are able, when/if their is phone contact record the conversation (ALWAYS advising him beforehand that the convo is being recorded!) You could also keep the communication via writing only (email). But, tread carefully!! Your Ex may be volatile, and instead of taking it out on you--take it out on your kids.