Don't want to testify against my ex!

[Scaredofex]

Pennsylvania

I need some advice please. I was in an abusive relationship 12 years ago. He was both verbally and physically abusive to me. I stayed with him for 11 years. Finally I got the nerve to leave. He married a couple years later. They have been together now for about 10 years. Recently his wife caught him having an affair with her best friend. As you may have known...that didnt go over to well. His wife got a temporary PFA against him after he choked her and told her if she called the cops he would shoot her and shoot himself. These were the same exact things he used to say to me. Only he had pointed a gun to my head a few times. She is trying to get another PFA against him and her lawyer wants to subpeona me to testify in court of how i was treated for 11 years. I do not want any parts of this. I got away from him and I have a family now and I dont want him coming after me! I would like to help her out because I know how he is but I got to much at stake. His dad was the same way to his new wife that he remarried. She went for a PFA and it was denied. A week later he talked her into coming back to his house where he beat her up. She called the police and the police broke down the door and his dad ending up shooting himself in the chest and killing himself. I don't want me or her to end up dead. What can I do. Do I have to testify? Since it was so long ago...would my testimony even matter?
Thanks

 

[tranquility]

Pennsylvania

I need some advice please. I was in an abusive relationship 12 years ago. He was both verbally and physically abusive to me. I stayed with him for 11 years. Finally I got the nerve to leave. He married a couple years later. They have been together now for about 10 years. Recently his wife caught him having an affair with her best friend. As you may have known...that didnt go over to well. His wife got a temporary PFA against him after he choked her and told her if she called the cops he would shoot her and shoot himself. These were the same exact things he used to say to me. Only he had pointed a gun to my head a few times. She is trying to get another PFA against him and her lawyer wants to subpeona me to testify in court of how i was treated for 11 years. I do not want any parts of this. I got away from him and I have a family now and I dont want him coming after me! I would like to help her out because I know how he is but I got to much at stake. His dad was the same way to his new wife that he remarried. She went for a PFA and it was denied. A week later he talked her into coming back to his house where he beat her up. She called the police and the police broke down the door and his dad ending up shooting himself in the chest and killing himself. I don't want me or her to end up dead. What can I do. Do I have to testify? Since it was so long ago...would my testimony ever matter?
Thanks

What would you testify to? If it is what you observed, yes. Observations are not a protected confidential communication.

 

[LdiJ]

Pennsylvania

I need some advice please. I was in an abusive relationship 12 years ago. He was both verbally and physically abusive to me. I stayed with him for 11 years. Finally I got the nerve to leave. He married a couple years later. They have been together now for about 10 years. Recently his wife caught him having an affair with her best friend. As you may have known...that didnt go over to well. His wife got a temporary PFA against him after he choked her and told her if she called the cops he would shoot her and shoot himself. These were the same exact things he used to say to me. Only he had pointed a gun to my head a few times. She is trying to get another PFA against him and her lawyer wants to subpeona me to testify in court of how i was treated for 11 years. I do not want any parts of this. I got away from him and I have a family now and I dont want him coming after me! I would like to help her out because I know how he is but I got to much at stake. His dad was the same way to his new wife that he remarried. She went for a PFA and it was denied. A week later he talked her into coming back to his house where he beat her up. She called the police and the police broke down the door and his dad ending up shooting himself in the chest and killing himself. I don't want me or her to end up dead. What can I do. Do I have to testify? Since it was so long ago...would my testimony ever matter?
Thanks

Yes, your testimony would matter. Does he have any idea where you live now? Can her lawyer make sure that your address and contact information are kept confidential?

 

[Scaredofex]

Yes, your testimony would matter. Does he have any idea where you live now? Can her lawyer make sure that your address and contact information are kept confidential?

Yes he knows where I live...where I work...everything about me. We live in a small town. I pass him on the road almost daily and we have mutal friends.

 

[tranquility]

Yes he knows where I live...where I work...everything about me. We live in a small town. I pass him on the road almost daily and we have mutal friend.

While something to consider on how to protect yourself, if you are being asked to testify to what you saw rather than on confidential communications when you were married, you can be required to testify.

 

[Scaredofex]

What would you testify to? If it is what you observed, yes. Observations are not a protected confidential communication.

They want me to tell about me being verbally and physically abused by him for 11 years. She is trying to get a PFA against him and they think prior abuse would help her get it.