DV and protection orders

[DJ987]

What is the name of your state, WA

I was involved in a domestic violence incident with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. I ended our relationship and she did not take it very well. We went to a bar and were drinking and I broke up with her. (never break up with a girl at a bar when shes drinking!)

I drove her home and she was crying, threatening to ruin my life, call my boss at work and a whole bunch of other stuff I walked her up to her apartment and she started freaking out trying to hit me. I grabbed her arms trying to keep her from hitting me and calm her down, it was impossible since she was in crazy zone. I pretty much ran to my car and left.

She called the police and filed charges against me. The police never came to my house and I was never arrested or gave any sort of statement. They took pictures of her and she has bruises on her arms from where I grabbed her. I called the prosecutors next day and its a misdemeanor DV offense.

About a week later I was talking to her and asked her why she did that when she knows its a total lie. She was upset finally said, i will tell the prosecutors the truth if you give me another chance. I agreed to this because I felt i had no choice and could end the relationship later.

We wrote a letter last weekend, i helped her write it. She sent in the letter to the domestic violence advocate on Monday. Wednesday the advocate called her and said that they have chosen not to file charges against me.

I tried to contact the advocate on Thursday but she is not allowed to talk to me. I called the front desk and they said they have limited information but my case shows it still shows pending and under investigation. They will barely talk to me.

I want to end the relationship, change my number and never talk to her again. But i am afraid she will be able to change her story. Like say I wrote the letter or something. Then get a protection order. How long should I wait to break up with her and get the order?

Do i get something in the mail that says the charges are dropped?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state, WA

I was involved in a domestic violence incident with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. I ended our relationship and she did not take it very well. We went to a bar and were drinking and I broke up with her. (never break up with a girl at a bar when shes drinking!)

I drove her home and she was crying, threatening to ruin my life, call my boss at work and a whole bunch of other stuff I walked her up to her apartment and she started freaking out trying to hit me. I grabbed her arms trying to keep her from hitting me and calm her down, it was impossible since she was in crazy zone. I pretty much ran to my car and left.

She called the police and filed charges against me. The police never came to my house and I was never arrested or gave any sort of statement. They took pictures of her and she has bruises on her arms from where I grabbed her. I called the prosecutors next day and its a misdemeanor DV offense.

About a week later I was talking to her and asked her why she did that when she knows its a total lie. She was upset finally said, i will tell the prosecutors the truth if you give me another chance. I agreed to this because I felt i had no choice and could end the relationship later.

We wrote a letter last weekend, i helped her write it. She sent in the letter to the domestic violence advocate on Monday. Wednesday the advocate called her and said that they have chosen not to file charges against me.

I tried to contact the advocate on Thursday but she is not allowed to talk to me. I called the front desk and they said they have limited information but my case shows it still shows pending and under investigation. They will barely talk to me.

I want to end the relationship, change my number and never talk to her again. But i am afraid she will be able to change her story. Like say I wrote the letter or something. Then get a protection order. How long should I wait to break up with her and get the order?

Do i get something in the mail that says the charges are dropped?

Wow. You are in trouble. Just stay away from the girl. Do not call, write, e-mail, drive by her house, "assist" her in her testimony, have your 3rd cousin 8x removed contact her...Understand?

Expect the Prosecution to add Witness Tampering and Witness Intimidation to your list of charges...Both of which are more severe charges than the original charge.

Get an attorney.

 

[Lauram78]

Seriously, stay away from this girl, she sounds like a manipulator. Even if she calls you, I would hangup. Good luck.

 

[Hot Topic]

You had no business getting behind the wheel when you'd been drinking. You should have called a cab and put your now ex-girlfriend in it.

Her response to the break up was to threaten you and attempt a physical attack which had you running to your car to escape her You characterized her as being in the "crazy zone," yet you talked to her less than a week later to find out why she filed charges against you. You then helped her write a letter to the advocate. Now you want her to be completely out of your life.

If you really wanted the relationship to end, you wouldn't have had any contact with her after the crazy zone incident. You're one of those people who claims to want someone to stay away but manages to find a way to continue contact.

You should have called the cab.

 

[BL]

What is the name of your state, WA

I was involved in a domestic violence incident with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. I ended our relationship and she did not take it very well. We went to a bar and were drinking and I broke up with her. (never break up with a girl at a bar when shes drinking!)

I drove her home and she was crying, threatening to ruin my life, call my boss at work and a whole bunch of other stuff I walked her up to her apartment and she started freaking out trying to hit me. I grabbed her arms trying to keep her from hitting me and calm her down, it was impossible since she was in crazy zone. I pretty much ran to my car and left.

She called the police and filed charges against me. The police never came to my house and I was never arrested or gave any sort of statement. They took pictures of her and she has bruises on her arms from where I grabbed her. I called the prosecutors next day and its a misdemeanor DV offense.

About a week later I was talking to her and asked her why she did that when she knows its a total lie. She was upset finally said, i will tell the prosecutors the truth if you give me another chance. I agreed to this because I felt i had no choice and could end the relationship later.

We wrote a letter last weekend, i helped her write it. She sent in the letter to the domestic violence advocate on Monday. Wednesday the advocate called her and said that they have chosen not to file charges against me.

I tried to contact the advocate on Thursday but she is not allowed to talk to me. I called the front desk and they said they have limited information but my case shows it still shows pending and under investigation. They will barely talk to me.

I want to end the relationship, change my number and never talk to her again. But i am afraid she will be able to change her story. Like say I wrote the letter or something. Then get a protection order. How long should I wait to break up with her and get the order?

Do i get something in the mail that says the charges are dropped?

I doubt it , you see there was evidence of DV , the GF has no say so if she wants to pursue it or not , most States take the case.

Nice excuse but it doesn't fly , you could have walked away before you put hands on her .

You're not a King !!!

 

[DJ987]

Thank you for telling me that I am in trouble, what i am looking for is what is next.

Thank you for telling me not to drink and drive, i was not drunk. She was however.

I did not attack her, she attacked me and in trying to stop her from hitting me she got a bruise on her arm. I said that I was going to call the police but I did not, I just went home.

She told the police that I assaulted her when she called them. When I talked to her a week later and after I found out that the police had infact been called I called her. The police never even contacted me.

I said that you know that I did not assault you, you should do what is right and tell them I did not do that.

The advocate called her, she said that she did not want to press charges. She said that she wants to add to her statement and she said that you can submit a letter of the events.

So we wrote a letter, I just helped her make it sound more formal. But what she wrote is exactly what happened.

Am I a manipulator? sure, I do not want to go to jail for a crime I did not commit. Or pay a $4000 fine, or $4000 lawyer.

So what my question really is. When we get something in the mail saying that everything has been dropped and they decided not to press charges on me. I have the option to get a protection order from the 8 million threats she has made to me.

This will obviously make her very mad. Can she go back and say, I want to press charges now, he broke up with me again?

 

[BL]

Thank you for telling me that I am in trouble, what i am looking for is what is next.

Thank you for telling me not to drink and drive, i was not drunk. She was however.

I did not attack her, she attacked me and in trying to stop her from hitting me she got a bruise on her arm. I said that I was going to call the police but I did not, I just went home.

She told the police that I assaulted her when she called them. When I talked to her a week later and after I found out that the police had infarct been called I called her. The police never even contacted me.

I said that you know that I did not assault you, you should do what is right and tell them I did not do that.

The advocate called her, she said that she did not want to press charges. She said that she wants to add to her statement and she said that you can submit a letter of the events.

So we wrote a letter, I just helped her make it sound more formal. But what she wrote is exactly what happened.

Am I a manipulator? sure, I do not want to go to jail for a crime I did not commit. Or pay a $4000 fine, or $4000 lawyer.

So what my question really is. When we get something in the mail saying that everything has been dropped and they decided not to press charges on me. I have the option to get a protection order from the 8 million threats she has made to me.

This will obviously make her very mad. Can she go back and say, I want to press charges now, he broke up with me again?

You are a manipulator according to your post .

You said it's in the hands of some other agency , or what ever .

Change your phone # , block the calls , do what you have to do , but don't come crying here saying you had to lay hands on a person going crazy .

You could have let her beat you , and call the police instead .

I call them like I see them .

Bye ...

 

[Farfalla]

If they are going to press charges it will take a while. They will most likely not contact you to tell you that they are not pressing charges. You'll know if they do because you will hear from them.

I think they have a year to press charges... you can look it up or someone here might know. If you stay with this woman that long I have no doubt more of these incidents will happen. Your best bet is to get away from her. You might want to talk to a local attorney to see what steps you need to take to protect yourself from her if she is threatening you and stalking you. If you stay around this... well your life will be a constant repeat of what you are going trough now.

Someone else here gave you the same advice ... get away and stay away.

 

[Hot Topic]

People who are drinking will always claim that they're not drunk. It doesn't change the fact that had a police officer stopped you, he would have detected alcohol on your breath, and you would have been tested. Had you used your brains, you would have put the girl in a cab and never contacted her again. You knew she was drunk and therefore unpredictable.

If you receive something in the mail that absolves you, you have something to use against her should she change her mind and decide to go after you again. If you continue to use excuses to see her - such as claiming you wanted to help her make her letter to the advocate look more formal - you'll seriously undermine your claim of feeling threatened and intimidated by her.

As is sometimes said on the forum and elsewhere, "You picked her."

 

[Just Blue]

So what my question really is. When we get something in the mail saying that everything has been dropped and they decided not to press charges on me. I have the option to get a protection order from the 8 million threats she has made to me.

Why do you think that the DA will not press charges due to the letter? They have a statement from your GF, evidence of assault and the testimony of the responding officers. They don't need your GF to prosecute you.

Plan on this going to trial and get yourself an attorney.