DVI Violation HELP

[05DAD]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FLORIDA

ok I need some help...My child's mother got a DVI restraining order on me... it states I cannot have no contact with petitioner and only short supervised visitation with our child at a visitation center (which I pay for).. anyway she has been contacting me by phone,the internet, and 3rd party by our daughter... (she had my daughter to tell me to meet her at the park after my visit... my daughter said "daddy i have a secret to tell you,mommy wanted me to tell you and nobody else..." she then whispered her moms wishes in my ear but she threw a fit after the visit was over when i told her i couldnt meet them at the park...this was all in front of the workers at the visitation center) that was the first contact.... now i messed up and went and met them at the park and had a good time... i had not seen my daughter but for 6 hours in the past 7 months at that time so i wanted to spend some time with her.... since then we (the mother and I) have had short conversations on myspace and she calls me from her cell but blocks the number...she has also contacted me from her new job and I have records of that from my phone and phone company....also have records of myspace convo but they are incriminating to me because i message her back... she had also told me she lifted the restraining order so she could have me bring my daughter's birth certificate to her so she can enroll her in pre-school....my girlfriend and I brought my daughter's birth certificate over to her mother's new house (mom lived at a different address when RO was filed, she gave me her new location and directions to get there, also stated while I was there that my g/f and I were welcome there anytime....I have no proof of that except for my g/f... but again me going to her house is incriminating.... well the latest is she missed the last visit and nobody could get ahold of her at the visitation center and her b/f called and once found out she wasnt there told the office he would go look for her because she should have been there already...anyway i got worried and decided to try to look for her..i called all the hospitals in the area and drove around for 2 hours hoping she didn't get in an accident...anyway i drove by her b/f house (her old residence) after two hours of searching and her car was in the driveway so i called the b/f phone and she answered with an attitude for calling that phone..i explained i was worried, she apologized for the attitude... and i asked about seeing my daughter that day maybe meet at the park (we had previously met at the park on more than one occasion in the past) she said no because it was her b/f's birthday...I spoke to my daughter on the phone and she was telling me how much she missed me and wanted to see me...(she was expecting to see me at the visitation center)so I decided to drive over to the house because I wanted to talk to her mother in person to see if maybe I could change her mind...well when I got there the b/f was on the phone with the cops..and the mother was wanting to talk to me but I just told her I wasn't staying for the cops to come and to tell my daughter I love her and have fun...she was crying because I felt she was not letting me see our daughter because I felt she thought it was more important to spend time with her B/f on his birthday than letting my daughter and I spend some time together,she told me "It's not like that" as I drove away.... well when the cops got there they took a report as a injuction violation (she told them I drove by the house and was looking for her) the cops called me...i told them i didnt go there and hadnt talked to her...later on that day i called the police back to explain she has been contacting me and is that a violation and what can i do about it...they told me to get a RO on her if I didn't want her to contact me... that is not something I want to do as we have a daughter together...anyway i later tried to reach her to find out what was goin on and why are the police contacting me...well when the guy answered all i said was put her on the phone he said ok.... and when i was talking to her i noticed she was acting strange and so i asked why do you call me from your work? she said she never had and that by contacting her i would violate the order and my probation and then a cop got on the phone and asked me why was I contacting her knowing there was an injuction..i just hung up...
I am on felony probation for a crime I did almost 4 years ago....I have had one violation for leaving the county without permission (picked up my daughter and her mother called my PO to see if I had permission to do so)...
What I'm trying to figure out is what can I do to keep from being charged criminally? I have no proof that she told me she lifted the RO... but I do have proof of her contacting me by phone,inviting me to her home,and messaging me on the internet... my RO does not say anything about petitioner contacting respondent... but I have read and learned that by her contacting me it shows she is not in Fear and therefore the RO could be dismissed... but how do I keep from being charged criminally? and how do I go about dismissing the RO? also I'm sure she will be bringing proof to the courts that I have contacted her but how do I go about showing the courts she has contacted me and is not in fear of me without incriminating myself? I do not want to violate my probation and go back to jail...I have made every visit in the lat 3 months but one (because the mother wanted to meet me at the park instead and later backed out) also she has been late just about everytime there has been a visit and also has missed more than one... I only get 2 hours a week...and I pay for it... also like i said before she told me she lifted the RO but obviously she didn't....what can I do to protect myself if thats even possible? I obviously need to hire an attorney but don't really have the money... is it even worth the money if I'm just gonna go back to jail anyway because if the RO violation goes through it will also violate my probation.... please help me...

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by 05DAD

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FLORIDA

ok I need some help...My child's mother got a DVI restraining order on me... it states I cannot have no contact with petitioner and only short supervised visitation with our child at a visitation center (which I pay for).. anyway she has been contacting me by phone,the internet, and 3rd party by our daughter... (she had my daughter to tell me to meet her at the park after my visit... my daughter said "daddy i have a secret to tell you,mommy wanted me to tell you and nobody else..." she then whispered her moms wishes in my ear but she threw a fit after the visit was over when i told her i couldnt meet them at the park...this was all in front of the workers at the visitation center) that was the first contact.... now i messed up and went and met them at the park and had a good time... i had not seen my daughter but for 6 hours in the past 7 months at that time so i wanted to spend some time with her.... since then we (the mother and I) have had short conversations on myspace and she calls me from her cell but blocks the number...she has also contacted me from her new job and I have records of that from my phone and phone company....also have records of myspace convo but they are incriminating to me because i message her back... she had also told me she lifted the restraining order so she could have me bring my daughter's birth certificate to her so she can enroll her in pre-school....my girlfriend and I brought my daughter's birth certificate over to her mother's new house (mom lived at a different address when RO was filed, she gave me her new location and directions to get there, also stated while I was there that my g/f and I were welcome there anytime....I have no proof of that except for my g/f... but again me going to her house is incriminating.... well the latest is she missed the last visit and nobody could get ahold of her at the visitation center and her b/f called and once found out she wasnt there told the office he would go look for her because she should have been there already...anyway i got worried and decided to try to look for her..i called all the hospitals in the area and drove around for 2 hours hoping she didn't get in an accident...anyway i drove by her b/f house (her old residence) after two hours of searching and her car was in the driveway so i called the b/f phone and she answered with an attitude for calling that phone..i explained i was worried, she apologized for the attitude... and i asked about seeing my daughter that day maybe meet at the park (we had previously met at the park on more than one occasion in the past) she said no because it was her b/f's birthday...I spoke to my daughter on the phone and she was telling me how much she missed me and wanted to see me...(she was expecting to see me at the visitation center)so I decided to drive over to the house because I wanted to talk to her mother in person to see if maybe I could change her mind...well when I got there the b/f was on the phone with the cops..and the mother was wanting to talk to me but I just told her I wasn't staying for the cops to come and to tell my daughter I love her and have fun...she was crying because I felt she was not letting me see our daughter because I felt she thought it was more important to spend time with her B/f on his birthday than letting my daughter and I spend some time together,she told me "It's not like that" as I drove away.... well when the cops got there they took a report as a injuction violation (she told them I drove by the house and was looking for her) the cops called me...i told them i didnt go there and hadnt talked to her...later on that day i called the police back to explain she has been contacting me and is that a violation and what can i do about it...they told me to get a RO on her if I didn't want her to contact me... that is not something I want to do as we have a daughter together...anyway i later tried to reach her to find out what was goin on and why are the police contacting me...well when the guy answered all i said was put her on the phone he said ok.... and when i was talking to her i noticed she was acting strange and so i asked why do you call me from your work? she said she never had and that by contacting her i would violate the order and my probation and then a cop got on the phone and asked me why was I contacting her knowing there was an injuction..i just hung up...
I am on felony probation for a crime I did almost 4 years ago....I have had one violation for leaving the county without permission (picked up my daughter and her mother called my PO to see if I had permission to do so)...
What I'm trying to figure out is what can I do to keep from being charged criminally? I have no proof that she told me she lifted the RO... but I do have proof of her contacting me by phone,inviting me to her home,and messaging me on the internet... my RO does not say anything about petitioner contacting respondent... but I have read and learned that by her contacting me it shows she is not in Fear and therefore the RO could be dismissed... but how do I keep from being charged criminally? and how do I go about dismissing the RO? also I'm sure she will be bringing proof to the courts that I have contacted her but how do I go about showing the courts she has contacted me and is not in fear of me without incriminating myself? I do not want to violate my probation and go back to jail...I have made every visit in the lat 3 months but one (because the mother wanted to meet me at the park instead and later backed out) also she has been late just about everytime there has been a visit and also has missed more than one... I only get 2 hours a week...and I pay for it... also like i said before she told me she lifted the RO but obviously she didn't....what can I do to protect myself if thats even possible? I obviously need to hire an attorney but don't really have the money... is it even worth the money if I'm just gonna go back to jail anyway because if the RO violation goes through it will also violate my probation.... please help me...

I am sorry but an RO against you means that you can not contact her. She is not violating the RO by contacting you. She was not legally bound to stay away from you. You were legally bound to stay away from her.

With you being on probation this is sooo not going to be good for you. You can try bringing whatever evidence you have with you if you get charged with violating the order. While she is not legally bound to not contact you it does not look like she feels threatened by you if she is contacting you.

I wouldnt get your hopes up on that detail though. Judges know and it happens all the time that people file RO's for valid reasons and then feel bad later for whatever reason and want to drop them/ignore them. That doesnt mean that the judge is going to let you off the hook for violating it.

Boy, what were you thinking? You not only have the RO but are on probation. Are you never going to learn that disobeying the law never works to your benefit? Im sorry but I really dont see this looking good for you at all. The one who is going to suffer the most is your child because of it.

[05DAD]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

I am sorry but an RO against you means that you can not contact her. She is not violating the RO by contacting you. She was not legally bound to stay away from you. You were legally bound to stay away from her.

With you being on probation this is sooo not going to be good for you. You can try bringing whatever evidence you have with you if you get charged with violating the order. While she is not legally bound to not contact you it does not look like she feels threatened by you if she is contacting you.

I wouldnt get your hopes up on that detail though. Judges know and it happens all the time that people file RO's for valid reasons and then feel bad later for whatever reason and want to drop them/ignore them. That doesnt mean that the judge is going to let you off the hook for violating it.

Boy, what were you thinking? You not only have the RO but are on probation. Are you never going to learn that disobeying the law never works to your benefit? Im sorry but I really dont see this looking good for you at all. The one who is going to suffer the most is your child because of it.

you are right that none of this is good for me or especially for my daughter.... this type of thing has been going on for a while now.. at one point before the RO the mother moved and wouldn't disclose to me my daughter's location and when I had my daughter she refused to give me a contact number in case of an emergency...I had to email her if I wanted to see my lil girl and hope she responded postively if she responded at all... she got the RO based on false claims that I threatened her...which never happened and because I was in jail for the violation of leaving the county without permission when i picked up my daughter i couldn't make the RO hearing and it was made permanent without hearing my side.... I have a visit every week in her county of residence where the RO was filed.... would it be in my best interest to go to the visit risking being arrested there for the RO violation???... I have not been arrested yet I believe because I live in the next county over..but the RO is enforceable in all counties?? also my PO has yet to call me about it.. my first guess is they would contact her...

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by 05DAD

you are right that none of this is good for me or especially for my daughter.... this type of thing has been going on for a while now.. at one point before the RO the mother moved and wouldn't disclose to me my daughter's location and when I had my daughter she refused to give me a contact number in case of an emergency...I had to email her if I wanted to see my lil girl and hope she responded postively if she responded at all... she got the RO based on false claims that I threatened her...which never happened and because I was in jail for the violation of leaving the county without permission when i picked up my daughter i couldn't make the RO hearing and it was made permanent without hearing my side.... I have a visit every week in her county of residence where the RO was filed.... would it be in my best interest to go to the visit risking being arrested there for the RO violation???... I have not been arrested yet I believe because I live in the next county over..but the RO is enforceable in all counties?? also my PO has yet to call me about it.. my first guess is they would contact her...

Ok not to sound like a jerk but you do realize yet again you violated the terms of probation? What is a term of probation when you speak/or interact with an officer of the law? You MUST report it to your probation officer. You stated that you spoke to an officer on the phone .....did you report it to your PO? If you had you would not have to be waiting for anything. Your PO would look into it.

Yes the RO is enforcable in all counties. You need to let your PO know whats going on. She can look into and see if you have a warrant in another county as well as it looks better for you if you are up front and honest with your PO.

[05DAD]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

Ok not to sound like a jerk but you do realize yet again you violated the terms of probation? What is a term of probation when you speak/or interact with an officer of the law? You MUST report it to your probation officer. You stated that you spoke to an officer on the phone .....did you report it to your PO? If you had you would have to be waiting for anything. Your PO would look into it.

Yes the RO is enforcable in all counties. You need to let your PO know whats going on. She can look into and see if you have a warrant in another county as well as it looks better for you if you are up front and honest with your PO.

I do the normal monthly check in's... on the paperwork it asks me for police contact and if yes.. to describe it... I check in on the 6th and don't plan on not telling her about it... but going to her with this at the moment would be like turning myself in...it doesnt sound smart to me to do that if I need to get money together for a lawyer... I could use the this week to gather more funds and look for an attorney....its alot easier to meet and talk to attorneys when your not in jail....

[Proserpina]

Originally Posted by 05DAD

I do the normal monthly check in's... on the paperwork it asks me for police contact and if yes.. to describe it... I check in on the 6th and don't plan on not telling her about it... but going to her with this at the moment would be like turning myself in...it doesnt sound smart to me to do that if I need to get money together for a lawyer... I could use the this week to gather more funds and look for an attorney....its alot easier to meet and talk to attorneys when your not in jail....

While this is quite true it's really not the point - you need to be thinking about damage control, which would presumably mean you need to be talking to your PO.

[Hisbabygirl77]

Originally Posted by 05DAD

I do the normal monthly check in's... on the paperwork it asks me for police contact and if yes.. to describe it... I check in on the 6th and don't plan on not telling her about it... but going to her with this at the moment would be like turning myself in...it doesnt sound smart to me to do that if I need to get money together for a lawyer... I could use the this week to gather more funds and look for an attorney....its alot easier to meet and talk to attorneys when your not in jail....

Ok I will give you two senarios. You tell me which one you think will go much better for which guy.

Guy A: He screws up. He violated his Probation and an RO. He realizes his mistakes. He goes to his PO lets the PO know. Says he understand and takes responsibility for the actions and he would like to try and show that he can learn from his mistakes. Will the PO please guide him on what he can do to prove that he is willing to straighten out his life and follow the straight and narrow. PO may upon seeing how much the felon is trying to fix his mistakes contact the other county. Speak to officers and when going to court have postive words to say about felons change in attitude and progress towards leading law obiding life.

Guy B: Waits for his PO to find out. His PO finds out that PO violated his probation. PO along with police escorts go to PO's house/job wherever arrest Guy B and guy B still looks in their eyes like an irresponsible felon who will never learn his lesson.


See where im going here?

[05DAD]

Originally Posted by Dogmatique

While this is quite true it's really not the point - you need to be thinking about damage control, which would presumably mean you need to be talking to your PO.

I understand where your coming from and I have to call her tomorrow to get permission to leave the county to talk to some attorneys, she will probably and most likely ask why I am wanting to talk to attorneys and I will more than likely give her a limited answer as to not incriminate myself until I find representation... I am on the very basic of basic felony probations... i have no curfew and I only get drug tested maybe once a year...they just really want my money... but a violation is a big deal to me because even 1 technical will score me out to 6 more months in prison and that's the bottom of the guidelines...with up to a maximum of another 3 years..(as I already did 2 on a 3rd degree felony) and that amount of time is something I'm really not wanting to gamble with...that's alot of time to be away from my one and only child... so my options are this pretty much call my PO and tell her whats going on and go to jail immediately or try to find representation before i check in on the 6th....when more than likely i'll be going to jail anyway

[05DAD]

Originally Posted by Hisbabygirl77

Ok I will give you two senarios. You tell me which one you think will go much better for which guy.

Guy A: He screws up. He violated his Probation and an RO. He realizes his mistakes. He goes to his PO lets the PO know. Says he understand and takes responsibility for the actions and he would like to try and show that he can learn from his mistakes. Will the PO please guide him on what he can do to prove that he is willing to straighten out his life and follow the straight and narrow. PO may upon seeing how much the felon is trying to fix his mistakes contact the other county. Speak to officers and when going to court have postive words to say about felons change in attitude and progress towards leading law obiding life.

Guy B: Waits for his PO to find out. His PO finds out that PO violated his probation. PO along with police escorts go to PO's house/job wherever arrest Guy B and guy B still looks in their eyes like an irresponsible felon who will never learn his lesson.


See where im going here?

yes I do see where your going with this... and I appreciate your help... and also at the moment I am behind a month in my monthly minimum restitution payments...which I have not been violated for because i put in a motion to modify my probation to lower payments but there is still a possibility of violating for that (tech)court dat is set for 15th....and not only that I just got a letter from another county where my court costs were judgement liened but with an expiration date to which i didn't know... i was on a payment plan and now they are asking me to pay $2700 in the next 3 weeks or it's a violation of a court order and they will suspend my license ... and that will also violate my probation...

i know that once in violation status of probation than new violations that come later cant be added as probation violation points...they come as is...

my thought process is like this... violate for non-payment (a tech) score out to 30.1 months with 24 credit... then it's possible that after i sign a plea deal for probation converted to time (hopefully bottom of guidelines or close to it) i could run my misdemeanor charge of violating the RO concurrent and also have the $2700 court costs converted to time and ran concurrent? I just need to find a lawyer that could do this for me as my Probation is in one county and the RO and $2700 is in another county...
do you believe this is possible?

of course when i get out i would have to go through the process of supervised visitation all over again....

[stealth2]

It's time for you to man up and show your daughter that you're a man of character. You're going to get violated one way or another - would you rather she sees a man who tries to hide behind technicalities or one who admits he screwed up and takes his lumps?

Seriously, you have no one to blame but yourself, and to blame it on your love for your daughter is just wrong.