Emotional abuse

[bgirl9159]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Fl.

If a husband openly cheats on you, has their new "significant other" talk to your 11 yr. old daughter, take your daughter over to meet the "new woman", what can you legally do? He will not leave the house and I have to listen to their conversations all the time. He does not hide it at all!!!! What are my recourses? I'm at my witts end!!!!!!!!

 

[Ronin]

...what can you legally do?...What are my recourses?

Get a divorce.

 

[bgirl9159]

Am doing that, but he won't leave and it seems there is nothing I can do about it!

 

[Proserpina]

Am doing that, but he won't leave and it seems there is nothing I can do about it!

You also have the choice to leave...but other than that, you're not going to be able to do anything to prevent him from taking your daughter to see his new girlfriend (though I think it's incredibly tacky for him to do so).

 

[bgirl9159]

I just got served today with a petition for injunction for protection against domestic violence, while he was on a plane to New Orleans to see his girlfriend. Our daughter was in my custody at the time, so the order was vacated. What are my recourses, now? Should I file one back before he returns, or will that look like retaliation? My lawyer does not cover this under our retainer agreement, and I have no money left. Please help!

 

[Ohiogal]

I just got served today with a petition for injunction for protection against domestic violence, while he was on a plane to New Orleans to see his girlfriend. Our daughter was in my custody at the time, so the order was vacated. What are my recourses, now? Should I file one back before he returns, or will that look like retaliation? My lawyer does not cover this under our retainer agreement, and I have no money left. Please help!

Seriously? File one back? On what grounds? For what purpose? Did you assault him? Did you threaten him? Did he hit you? Did you hit him? Did you slap him? This tit for tat is immature. The fact that you are classifying this thread as emotional abuse is ridiculous. Grow up and move out if you don't want to deal with him. You are going to need to earn your own money so if you are not working you need to get a job.

 

[Gracie3787]

I just got served today with a petition for injunction for protection against domestic violence, while he was on a plane to New Orleans to see his girlfriend. Our daughter was in my custody at the time, so the order was vacated

Something is not right, there is no way that you could have been served with a petition, or even a court order TODAY, and had that order vacated TODAY.

Exactly what does the papers you were served with state?
Along with the petition, was there any type of court ORDER attached to it?

What COURT ORDER do you have that stated the petition and order has been vacated?

Seriously, you really need to take those papers to your attorney as you have apparently misunderstood what the papers mean.

 

[bgirl9159]

I got served with a petition for injunction for domestic violence. He had left the state that day to visit his gf in New Orleans for 5 days. Our minor child was in my custody and the order had her name in IND/OBO. When I got served, they contacted him to take custody of our child, but he informed them that he was out of state for 5 days. I went to the DV division, told them what had happened, and the judge vacated the order. It was based on the fact that if our child were in eminant danger, why would he leave her in my custody.

He can still refile when he gats back on Sunday, and since his first order was granted(based on many lies), I'm afraid this one will be granted will too.

I'm lucky that the sheriff that served me, didn't make me leave my home with noone to take care of our 4 pets. He seemed to sense that something was wrong with the situation.

I'm still scared, though.

.....and btw (OHIOGAL)I have a job, am grown up, and plan on leaving. I just didn't plan on playing so dirty with a child involved. I haven't lied, cheated or used up my spouses money only to have an open affair when the money ran out. My only offense was to react to the fact that he introduced our child to another woman. A mistake that I'll regret for sure. Thanks for your judgement!

People on this site seem to do a lot of judging while the posters are scared, broke, and simply reaching out for some answers. Maybe they should ask questions, get answers and then form their opinions.

 

[Ohiogal]

.....and btw (OHIOGAL)I have a job, am grown up, and plan on leaving. I just didn't plan on playing so dirty with a child involved. I haven't lied, cheated or used up my spouses money only to have an open affair when the money ran out.

Yet you want to play dirty by filing for a restraining order based on WHAT? What did he do? What happened that you believe necessitates a restraining order?

My only offense was to react to the fact that he introduced our child to another woman. A mistake that I'll regret for sure. Thanks for your judgement!

HOW did you react? What did you do?

People on this site seem to do a lot of judging while the posters are scared, broke, and simply reaching out for some answers. Maybe they should ask questions, get answers and then form their opinions.

As for the above what I stated was this:

Seriously? File one back? On what grounds? For what purpose? Did you assault him? Did you threaten him? Did he hit you? Did you hit him? Did you slap him? This tit for tat is immature. The fact that you are classifying this thread as emotional abuse is ridiculous. Grow up and move out if you don't want to deal with him. You are going to need to earn your own money so if you are not working you need to get a job.

You need to grow up quite frankly if you want to file a restraining order against him just because he filed one against you. You have PRESENTED NO GROUNDS for a restraining order. NONE. And if you didn't have a job you would need to get one. NONE of what I said was unreasonable or judgmental. I asked a bunch of questions and you answered NONE OF THEM. The way you presented the situation is that you wanted to file one against him because he filed one against you -- that is immature. That would necessitate you needing to grow up. As for emotional abuse? Not seeing it.

 

[bgirl9159]

Yet you want to play dirty by filing for a restraining order based on WHAT? What did he do? What happened that you believe necessitates a restraining order?
He choked me and threw me against a countertop. Slapped me in the face several times. Kicked my daughter's door in.

HOW did you react? What did you do?
I did nothing, a mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life! I cannot look back at this point, though. I must live with my mistakes and try to move forward.


As for the above what I stated was this:

You need to grow up quite frankly if you want to file a restraining order against him just because he filed one against you. You have PRESENTED NO GROUNDS for a restraining order. NONE. And if you didn't have a job you would need to get one. NONE of what I said was unreasonable or judgmental. I asked a bunch of questions and you answered NONE OF THEM. The way you presented the situation is that you wanted to file one against him because he filed one against you -- that is immature. That would necessitate you needing to grow up. As for emotional abuse? Not seeing it.

Because of the fact that this happened years ago, and not within the past six months, it is not considered. If you don't see a problem with a husband talking with his girlfriend within listening distance for hours night after night, having him talk to your DAUGHTER on the phone in your home, taking your daughter over to meet her, having her put her cell phone number in your daughter's phone, sending letters to your house, openly disrespecting you in front of your daughter, then you shouled be so lucky to live through it. IF I had a place to go I would have, but I don't. My daughter should not grow up thinking this is acceptable behavior.

 

[Proserpina]

Because of the fact that this happened years ago, and not within the past six months, it is not considered. If you don't see a problem with a husband talking with his girlfriend within listening distance for hours night after night, having him talk to your DAUGHTER on the phone in your home, taking your daughter over to meet her, having her put her cell phone number in your daughter's phone, sending letters to your house, openly disrespecting you in front of your daughter, then you shouled be so lucky to live through it. IF I had a place to go I would have, but I don't. My daughter should not grow up thinking this is acceptable behavior.

BOTH of you - as parents - have the right to parent your child the way each of you sees fit (within reason, obviously). Dad doesn't need your "ok" to bring his child to see his girlfriend or to program kiddo's phone with gf's number, and you don't need HIS ok to do the same thing.

If you choose to put up with him talking to his girlfriend while you are still living together, that's on you. Frankly I think his actions are at least a little tacky but that honestly doesn't even enter the equation. So don't take offense at what is being said to you because I doubt anyone is condoning your husband's behavior - you just need to understand the legal realities of your situation. And yes, when you said "should I file one back", it DOES come across as playing tit-for-tat. You've shown no grounds to justify such an action.

So, you have every right to file for divorce, to ask for exclusive use of the marital home (if temporarily) and for at least temporary physical custody if you haven't already done so.

Take charge of your life already.

 

[Ohiogal]

Because of the fact that this happened years ago, and not within the past six months, it is not considered. If you don't see a problem with a husband talking with his girlfriend within listening distance for hours night after night, having him talk to your DAUGHTER on the phone in your home, taking your daughter over to meet her, having her put her cell phone number in your daughter's phone, sending letters to your house, openly disrespecting you in front of your daughter, then you shouled be so lucky to live through it. IF I had a place to go I would have, but I don't. My daughter should not grow up thinking this is acceptable behavior.

None of that is abusive and requires a restraining order against dad. NONE OF IT. It is not abuse. It is him being an idiot. But you are also being an idiot for PUTTING UP WITH IT. You should have filed for divorce IMMEDIATELY if you were that upset about it. You could have filed pro se. You could have attempted legal aid. You could have put money aside and bit the bullet to file.
Instead you did nothing. YEARS AGO? He choked you? Kicked your daughter's door in? And you stayed for years? REALLY? REALLY?
I stand by what I said previously. Except I will add -- you need to stop having a pity party for yourself. You made decisions -- bad decisions.