Closed Thread
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    annaleigh is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    3

    Unhappy Ex-Husband Stalking Me

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OR

    My divorce was final in April 2008, almost one year ago. My Ex has repeatedly (every couple days) called me since December 2007 when I filed for divorce. He defaulted on the divorce paperwork so I received everything I had stated in the papers. He was VERY sore about me getting what I had wanted and not getting monetary compensation from me (obviously not concerned enough to respond to the paperwork). The last 9-12 months of our marriage involved heavy emotional/verbal abuse and slight physical abuse (never put his hands on me directly but would throw things at me and would threaten to hit me).
    He wants me to refinance my car (he's a cosigner) so it doesn't appear on his credit report and I refuse. The loan is in good standing and I have never missed a payment. I have a good, stable job and will continue to make the payments (flawless credit myself). If he had wanted me to do that he would have had to respond to the papers, right? He insists that since I got the car in the divorce I am REQUIRED to refinance. I would do it just to get him off my case but I have warranties and cannot afford to buy them out to refinance the car (I've tried).
    I changed my phone number to stop the harassing phone calls and text messages. Then, last week I went out to meet a old friend from high school for coffee and when I came out to my car, I had a note from him demanding that I refinance and that he won't stop bothering me until I do. The coffee shop was not a normal destination for me so he was obviously following me. I immediately went home and filed a police report. I was advised to send a certified letter with a return receipt telling him to stop all communication with me directly or indirectly (was calling my parents and trying to get them to talk to me about it). Last week, when I got home, I saw that he had tried to send me a certified letter back. I marked "refused" and put it on the door. I have no idea how far he will take this and it is starting to scare me. I don't like going anywhere alone and I'm always looking over my shoulder, worried that he might be following me again. Although he never hit me when we were married, I have no idea what he would be capable of at this point of lonely desperation (lost his job shortly after our divorce).
    Questions:
    1) At what point can I file a stalking order?
    2) Can someone FORCE you to refinance a loan to remove them as cosigner?
    3) Even though he never hit me I'm still afraid of him... Does this qualify for a Restraining Order?

    Thank You,
    Last edited by annaleigh; 01-26-2009 at 11:51 AM.
  2. #2
    Ohiogal is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    52,621
    Quote Originally Posted by annaleigh View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? OR

    My divorce was final in April 2008, almost one year ago. My Ex has repeatedly (every couple days) called me since December 2007 when I filed for divorce. He defaulted on the divorce paperwork so I received everything I had stated in the papers. He was VERY sore about me getting what I had wanted and not getting monetary compensation from me (obviously not concerned enough to respond to the paperwork). The last 9-12 months of our marriage involved heavy emotional/verbal abuse and slight physical abuse (never put his hands on me directly but would throw things at me and would threaten to hit me).
    He wants me to refinance my car (he's a cosigner) so it doesn't appear on his credit report and I refuse. The loan is in good standing and I have never missed a payment. I have a good, stable job and will continue to make the payments (flawless credit myself). If he had wanted me to do that he would have had to respond to the papers, right? He insists that since I got the car in the divorce I am REQUIRED to refinance. I would do it just to get him off my case but I have warranties and cannot afford to buy them out to refinance the car (I've tried).
    I changed my phone number to stop the harassing phone calls and text messages. Then, last week I went out to meet a old friend from high school for coffee and when I came out to my car, I had a note from him demanding that I refinance and that he won't stop bothering me until I do. The coffee shop was not a normal destination for me so he was obviously following me. I immediately went home and filed a police report. I was advised to send a certified letter with a return receipt telling him to stop all communication with me directly or indirectly (was calling my parents and trying to get them to talk to me about it). Last week, when I got home, I saw that he had tried to send me a certified letter back. I marked "refused" and put it on the door. I have no idea how far he will take this and it is starting to scare me. I don't like going anywhere alone and I'm always looking over my shoulder, worried that he might be following me again. Although he never hit me when we were married, I have no idea what he would be capable of at this point of lonely desperation (lost his job shortly after our divorce).
    Questions:
    1) At what point can I file a stalking order?
    2) Can someone FORCE you to refinance a loan to remove them as cosigner?
    3) Even though he never hit me I'm still afraid of him... Does this qualify for a Restraining Order?

    Thank You,

    Yes he can force you to refinance the loan. You have NO RIGHT to tie up his credit for years because you do not WANT to refinance. Refinance the car. Heck the certified letter could have been him trying to serve you court papers.
    Parents should remember 3 things: Love your kids more than you hate your ex; when you have children the relationship with the other parent is until death; your children determine what type of nursing home you end up in.
    Nothing stated by me should be taken as giving you legal advice or forming an attorney/client relationship.

    Attorney-GAL in Ohio.

    I've removed the knife from my back, polished it, and will one day return it -- long after you think I have forgotten.
  3. #3
    annaleigh is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    3

    Thumbs down

    Quote Originally Posted by Ohiogal View Post
    Yes he can force you to refinance the loan. You have NO RIGHT to tie up his credit for years because you do not WANT to refinance. Refinance the car. Heck the certified letter could have been him trying to serve you court papers.
    He had the opportunity to request a refinance in the divorce papers which he defaulted on. And he has NO RIGHT to stalk me... Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever reads the posts before replying...
  4. #4
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    23,908
    Quote Originally Posted by annaleigh View Post
    He had the opportunity to request a refinance in the divorce papers which he defaulted on. And he has NO RIGHT to stalk me... Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever reads the posts before replying...
    A attorney answered you. A Family Law Attorney at that.

    Perhaps your ex would leave you alone if you would remove yourself from HIS CREDIT.

    And what you are posting about is NOT stalking.
  5. #5
    annaleigh is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    3

    Unhappy Oh well...

    Sorry, I was under the impression that this was "FreeAdvice Legal Forum" not attack the person asking for help... Both replies were not advice but instead an attack...

    I am afraid for my well being and I was informed by the local police that following a person is, indeed, stalking... He defaulted on the divorce papers so I was under the impression that he could ask for nothing else... I am going to file for a stalking order anyway... So much for the advice forums... I guess you get what you pay for...

Similar Threads

  1. Stalking
    By theresapre in forum Civil Litigation
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-16-2011, 01:42 PM
  2. stalking
    By dantea77 in forum Open Technical Issues and Requests (No Legal Questions)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-05-2009, 03:08 PM
  3. stalking?
    By blueboy in forum Child Custody & Visitation
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-06-2005, 12:43 PM
  4. Is it Stalking
    By dou4nzk in forum Other Crimes Federal and State
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-20-2003, 07:10 AM
  5. stalking x
    By LISALINGO1 in forum Domestic Violence & Abuse
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-28-2002, 10:51 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

© 1995-2012 Advice Company, All Rights Reserved

FreeAdvice® has been providing millions of consumers with outstanding advice, free, since 1995. While not a substitute for personal advice from a licensed professional, it is available AS IS, subject to our Disclaimer and Terms & Conditions Of Use.