False harassment charges

[Just Blue]

I think all grownups should eschew facebook. How ridiculous is it to yap about your life to the general public?

My Mother taught me to be careful of what I write, and to avoid writing anything I did not want to be published in the local newspaper, on the front page. She did me a great service with that one. You should consider it.

I agree. I don't "do" FB anymore. I have learned that it is too easy to "say things" that you later regret.

 

[vh5150]

I think you mentioned earlier that the injunction was dismissed/vacated but you did not receive copies of the judge's order to stop posting on Facebook. You have a copy of an order that limits how much you can say?

I thought it possible that the words of the judge never made it into an order, knowing as the judge probably does that an order that prevents expression would be unenforceable if challenged. The judge might have been trying to make it clear to both you and your ex-wife that you are BOTH fueling the fire and fanning the flames, her with the continued court complaints and you with your postings on Facebook that refer to her, however oblique the references might be.

Whatever the case, it seems to me that giving up your Facebook account to preserve the peace could be a small price to pay for that peace. That said, I agree with Silverplum that discussing all of this with an attorney in your area would be a very smart idea.

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It was vacated, and I did not receive orders at the time of the hearing, I received only the notice of the dismissal (the one with the wrong name on it).

I received through the mail 2 days later a copy of the dismissal order with the corrected name, as well as a copy of the new orders. These new orders were actually written into the first harassment case (also dismissed / vacated), NOT the case that had just been heard. And yes, this new order specifically states that I am to delete ALL accounts on ANY social media sites. Then with regards to the OFW requirement, that was changed to now limit me to one post every 48 hours, as well as a max post length of 15 words. And all this was done without the courts ever logging into this OFW account to see what was communicated previously. He took the word of my ex that I was posting too much, and limited me and me only, there were no limitation placed against her.

I'm going to try to keep a sense of humor about me, but this literally could result in:

"Hello (name),
(Child) has a track meet on August 17 and I would like to"

Then 48 hours later:

"know if we could swap visitation weekends for......"

ugh

 

[vh5150]

What concerns me is that it would be incredibly easy for someone else to make a FB page in OP's name, and start posting all sorts of nonsense. That's frightening.

This has crossed my mind as well, and I certainly cannot put this past her. If it does happen, I certainly hope that she is given the burden of proof and somehow has to prove that it was me making the posts and with an active account, against court orders. I know these things can be tracked via I.P. address, so at least there is some defense available if they act upon any such thing without any actual proof, but man oh man would that be an expensive path to have to go down.

 

[quincy]

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It was vacated, and I did not receive orders at the time of the hearing, I received only the notice of the dismissal (the one with the wrong name on it).

I received through the mail 2 days later a copy of the dismissal order with the corrected name, as well as a copy of the new orders. These new orders were actually written into the first harassment case (also dismissed / vacated), NOT the case that had just been heard. And yes, this new order specifically states that I am to delete ALL accounts on ANY social media sites. Then with regards to the OFW requirement, that was changed to now limit me to one post every 48 hours, as well as a max post length of 15 words. And all this was done without the courts ever logging into this OFW account to see what was communicated previously. He took the word of my ex that I was posting too much, and limited me and me only, there were no limitation placed against her.

I'm going to try to keep a sense of humor about me, but this literally could result in:

"Hello (name),
(Child) has a track meet on August 17 and I would like to"

Then 48 hours later:

"know if we could swap visitation weekends for......"

ugh

The Judge's order is a bit absurd. It is good that you can find the humor in it. Some days a sense of humor is all you have to make it through a day.

What you really seem to need is an aggressive attorney who can argue on your behalf. I know that money - or lack thereof - is almost always an issue. Following is a link to the Wisconsin State Law Library, which will provide links to resources in your area.

Good luck.


http://wilawlibrary.gov/topics/assist.php

 

[vh5150]

The Judge's order is a bit absurd. It is good that you can find the humor in it. Some days a sense of humor is all you have to make it through a day.

What you really seem to need is an aggressive attorney who can argue on your behalf. I know that money - or lack thereof - is almost always an issue. Following is a link to the Wisconsin State Law Library, which will provide links to resources in your area.

Good luck.


http://wilawlibrary.gov/topics/assist.php

Thank you very much, sincerely appreciated.

I have just written the judge who was assigned this case and asked him to review the order put in place by this commissioner, a commissioner who has an obvious conflict of interest. I did make it a point to reference the First Amendment issues, and the apparent inappropriate application of Prior Restraint. I will await their response, but am indeed already in contact with an attorney in case this falls flat.

Thanks again, have a wonderful evening.

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks you very much, sincerely appreciated.

I have just written the judge who was assigned this case and asked him to review the order put in place by this commissioner, a commissioner who has an obvious conflict of interest. I did make it a point to reference the First Amendment issues, and the apparent inappropriate application of Prior Restraint. I will await their response, but am indeed already in contact with an attorney in case this falls flat.

Thanks again, have a wonderful evening.

Unfortunately the judge likely won't read it. You'd ordinarily have to actually submit a motion for reconsideration or review, or actually appeal.

Edit: I agree with quincy (no shock there ) - that's a bizarre order and should be tossed!

 

[vh5150]

Unfortunately the judge likely won't read it. You'd ordinarily have to actually submit a motion for reconsideration or review, or actually appeal.

Edit: I agree with quincy (no shock there ) - that's a bizarre order and should be tossed!

I appreciate the feedback.

I am hopeful, in the first harassment claim I wrote the commissioner directly, and it was completely ignored. In the second, I wrote the judge, and copied the commissioner in, and this was was actually entered into court records, so I believe the Judge is the one more inclined to follow procedure, etc.

I am not going to be surprised if I get a negative response, or no response at all - but I am hopeful that the references to my Constitutional rights and the obvious conflict of interest will motivate him to correct this without further litigation.

Thanks again to everyone for all of the feedback.

 

[quincy]

I appreciate the feedback.

I am hopeful, in the first harassment claim I wrote the commissioner directly, and it was completely ignored. In the second, I wrote the judge, and copied the commissioner in, and this was was actually entered into court records, so I believe the Judge is the one more inclined to follow procedure, etc.

I am not going to be surprised if I get a negative response, or no response at all - but I am hopeful that the references to my Constitutional rights and the obvious conflict of interest will motivate him to correct this without further litigation.

Thanks again to everyone for all of the feedback.

It would be really nice if you could return to the forum to fill us in on the continuing saga, vh5150.

I heard a judge in Detroit not all that long ago, after ordering a party do something or other, think a bit and say, "Oh ... I can't do that."

I was sort of hoping that your order had never made it past the judge's rethinking of how much a violation of your rights his order would be. Again, I think an attorney could be of big help to you right now.

Good luck.

 

[vh5150]

It would be really nice if you could return to the forum to fill us in on the continuing saga, vh5150.

I heard a judge in Detroit not all that long ago, after ordering a party do something or other, think a bit and say, "Oh ... I can't do that."

I was sort of hoping that your order had never made it past the judge's rethinking of how much a violation of your rights his order would be. Again, I think an attorney could be of big help to you right now.

Good luck.

It is 2 1/2 years in the making, so continuing saga is the perfect way to describe it.

Letter to the judge went out yesterday, and I promise to report back when and if I get a response.

I also successfully opened a TRO and injunction hearing today, so hopefully can put this to rest once and for all in a couple weeks. Interesting tidbit I found today, the courts where she opened it up allowed her to file both of her injunction requests without any filing fees even though neither of those cases were anywhere near meeting the criteria for the courts to waive those fees. And this was not a financial application for it, it was the approving official allowing it to proceed without charging based on the allegations supposedly meeting the necessary requirements. I think not. I had documented threats and did not qualify for waiving of filing fees. It's no wonder she keeps trying, they are giving her a free ride.

To be continued, stay tuned !! Unless, of course, you prefer to wait until the book comes out. And no, I am not kidding - a couple chapters written already.

 

[quincy]

It is 2 1/2 years in the making, so continuing saga is the perfect way to describe it.

Letter to the judge went out yesterday, and I promise to report back when and if I get a response.

I also successfully opened a TRO and injunction hearing today, so hopefully can put this to rest once and for all in a couple weeks. Interesting tidbit I found today, the courts where she opened it up allowed her to file both of her injunction requests without any filing fees even though neither of those cases were anywhere near meeting the criteria for the courts to waive those fees. And this was not a financial application for it, it was the approving official allowing it to proceed without charging based on the allegations supposedly meeting the necessary requirements. I think not. I had documented threats and did not qualify for waiving of filing fees. It's no wonder she keeps trying, they are giving her a free ride.

To be continued, stay tuned !! Unless, of course, you prefer to wait until the book comes out. And no, I am not kidding - a couple chapters written already.

If you decide to write a book for publication (and I advise against it), I recommend strongly you also decide on a publishing law professional to assist with the editing. If not edited EXTREMELY CAREFULLY, you are really opening up for yourself a defamation claim.

I think it is fine to write your personal experiences down in a journal or a diary as a private release to built-up tensions, anxieties, anger, whatever. Publishing your experiences for the world to see (or for the few who may buy the book, at any rate) is generally a very bad idea.

I also hope for your sake that you do not decide to continue your relationship with your ex by using the court system to keep the relationship alive, as much as you can control it. These types of contentious relationships fed in the courts harm everyone, especially the children.

Good luck.

 

[vh5150]

If you decide to write a book for publication (and I advise against it), I recommend strongly you also decide on a publishing law professional to assist with the editing. If not edited EXTREMELY CAREFULLY, you are really opening up for yourself a defamation claim.

I think it is fine to write your personal experiences down in a journal or a diary as a private release to built-up tensions, anxieties, anger, whatever. Publishing your experiences for the world to see (or for the few who may buy the book, at any rate) is generally a very bad idea.

I also hope for your sake that you do not decide to continue your relationship with your ex by using the court system to keep the relationship alive, as much as you can control it. These types of contentious relationships fed in the courts harm everyone, especially the children.

Good luck.

Appreciate the feedback once again.

Outside of the divorce this is the first litigation I have opened, and is in response to her threats to me coupled with her frivolous lawsuits. Necessary as a means to an end in order to put this to rest once and for all, hopefully. I think you have defined her behavior to a 'T', although I do not think she is trying to keep the relationship alive. I think it comes down to one very simple thing, her inability to take ownership for any of her choices, and her internal need to find something to blame on me, in order to keep that mentality of 'see, it was him the entire time' alive. She has mental issue and she has put our children in danger, and I took the steps needed to protect them. For that she will never forgive me, as it involved her boyfriend going back to prison. He spent 15 years in, he is a child sex offender and he shot a house up 28 times putting 4 lives in danger. He was out for 10 months before she moved in with him (while we were still married and had not yet even filed for divorce), and now she is alone and it is, of course, all my fault. It will forever be my fault, and I have accepted that.

The only outcomes I hope from this, are that it finally lets her know I am not going to sit idly by and allow her to attack and threaten me any longer; and gives me a certain level of protection if she decides to act on her rage. I have no contact orders in place with the probation office for her b/f, and also written into the divorce, to protect these kids. So I feel that I at least have a legal leg of support to stand on now for both of them, should they decide to make any irrational choices in the future.

Hopefully not, but I don't survive on hopes.

I will consider your thought on the book as well, I had not yet considered that angle.

 

[vh5150]

Response from the judge came today. No action being taken, other than to copy in the court commissioner and the ex, who were not copied in on my original submission. Hopefully the ACLU will take me up on my request for assistance in resolving this Facebook ban.

To be continued, and thanks again for the support and advice here!!

 

[LdiJ]

Response from the judge came today. No action being taken, other than to copy in the court commissioner and the ex, who were not copied in on my original submission. Hopefully the ACLU will take me up on my request for assistance in resolving this Facebook ban.

To be continued, and thanks again for the support and advice here!!

You got exactly the reaction I expected. Your letter was an exparte communication which a judge is not allowed to read. The judge allowed himself to read it by serving copies of it to the other involved parties. You may yet see further action.

 

[quincy]

... I think it comes down to one very simple thing, her inability to take ownership for any of her choices, and her internal need to find something to blame on me, in order to keep that mentality of 'see, it was him the entire time' ...

What your ex is doing can be seen as a normal human reaction to decisions that have been made. It is called in psychological terms "cognitive dissonance."

A person often needs to find support for a decision that has been made by finding fault with the other choices that were available but not chosen. With a divorce, the worse you are made to look in her eyes (or in the eyes of her community), the more justification your ex has for the divorce.

Here is a semi-easy-to-understand overview of cognitive dissonance: http://www.simplypsychology.org/cognitive-dissonance.html

Perhaps if you look at your ex's actions as normal responses to stressful situations, this could help you examine your own responses to her.

Good luck.

 

[stealth2]

Of course, sometimes the ex is not as nuts as painted...