False harassment charges

[vh5150]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

Seems like a common topic here, sad to say. I will try to summarize and keep this short. Feb 2014 I was arrested (Disorderly conduct with DVO enhancer) due to false accusations by my wife. I was under a no contact order for 23 months until I got the charges dismissed in Jan 2016. No violations, no loss of deferred prosecution agreement, no issues for 23 months. The day before my final hearing, the ex had her local PD (of which she has family on) turn in a referral to the DA's office in my county in order to try to negate my deferred prosecution agreement. This was not considered, and my rescheduled hearing ended with a dismissal.

Two weeks later, Feb 2016, she files for and gets a TRO and injunction hearing in HER county (Oconto), using the same referral/police report that failed in my county. That too was dismissed and it was determined that I did nothing harassing in nature. The court did impose a requirement for us to communicate via Our Family Wizard, which has been a wonderful tool.

Now I just got served again for 'having too many messages on Our Family Wizard". Yup, being brought in for harassment - for doing nothing but following court orders.

What this comes down to is my ex doing anything she can to try to get custody back, try to get a change in physical placement, and with the end-goal of trying to stop having to pay me child support. Yes, you read that right, I got sole legal custody of my son while I was under and active deferred prosecution agreement on the DC-DVO charge. It really was that messed up that I was even charged, but that story is over.

I am looking for a way to put a stop to my ex-wife opening these frivolous TRO/injunction hearings, and looking for advice on how to do so. The only thing I can come up with is to open a domestic abuse injunction hearing on her, as I have past threats documented both from email, as well as her Facebook posts, as well as her own families testimony of her death threats against me - all documented in police reports. These were in 2014 and 2015, but I feel that her current behavior goes to show how she is not going to stop, and leads me to believe that she has the capability to turn this physical after these legal attempts fail. She lives in a very small town, and the County courts allow all TRO requests to be opened, and do not deny any. This is directly from the chief of police up there. So, I am hopeful that if I get an injunction, that this will put an end to it, and I would even request (if I legally can), that she is barred from opening any more suits in her County, where she takes advantage of the lack of proof needed to open such hearings.

To make this 'small town' point, the family court commissioner that heard and dismissed the first TRO/Inj hearing, was the same person that married us 9 years ago. Oh, and he married us IN HIS house - that is how small the city is, and how close her family ties are to the courts. He was fair in the first hearing, and I expect the same here and to have another dismissal, but I am open to any and all advice on how to put a stop to her behavior, far more harassing than anything she claims that I have done.

Thanks in advance.

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin

... Feb 2014 I was arrested (Disorderly conduct with DVO enhancer) due to false accusations by my wife. I was under a no contact order for 23 months until I got the charges dismissed in Jan 2016. No violations, no loss of deferred prosecution agreement, no issues for 23 months. The day before my final hearing, the ex ... [tried] to negate my deferred prosecution agreement. This was not considered, and my rescheduled hearing ended with a dismissal.

... Feb 2016, she files for and gets a TRO and injunction hearing in HER county (Oconto) ... That too was dismissed ... The court did impose a requirement for us to communicate via Online Family Wizard ...

Now I just got served again for 'having too many messages on Online Family Wizard". Yup, being brought in for harassment for doing nothing but following court orders ...

... I am looking for a way to put a stop to my ex-wife opening these frivolous TRO/injunction hearings, and looking for advice on how to do so ...

... the family court commissioner ... was fair in the first hearing, and I expect the same here and to have another dismissal, but I am open to any and all advice on how to put a stop to her behavior, far more harassing than anything she claims that I have done ...

It is difficult to stop a person from filing complaints and seeking restraining orders. Most judges do not want to prevent someone from seeking protection on the chance that protection is needed. Most judges would rather see if a restraining order is justified by hearing from both parties, reviewing the facts and going over the evidence used to support the petition.

The court has dismissed your ex's recent complaints at the hearings and will probably continue to do so, although the court may do some additional tweaking on how you two can communicate with each other.

I do not see that filing an harassment complaint against your ex (which is an option) will do anything but add to your forced get-togethers in court. It is possible that the court will eventually tire of your ex's complaints and impose sanctions of some sort.

It is a difficult situation you are in ... and not, unfortunately, an uncommon one.

 

[vh5150]

Thanks for the reply Quincy,

I have contemplated the fact that any action on my part will possibly result in more action from my ex wife, and it is a tough decision. It has been 2 1/2 years since we split, and have been divorced since Oct 2014. It seems her efforts are getting worse, and that time is not healing her issues.

My only response is that I cannot imagine having to run 30 miles each and every time she decides to try again, she is taking advantage of her local courts with whom she known many personally, and I am feeling quite helpless to stop this. I was served by a Brown County officer who told me 'I shouldn't say this and I probably and not supposed to say this, but this is ridiculous that you are having to go to court for this. This would have never been granted a TRO or an injunction hearing in this county'.

I guess I will wait until my Aug 01 hearing and see how the court responds to her on this newest unsubstantiated filing, than decide after I see if they address this at all with her.

Thanks again, your feedback is appreciated.

 

[vh5150]

So, it gets better.

I had my hearing today and they dismissed / vacated the injunction as hoped and expected.

That said, my ex showed up with the previously stated facebook posts, which she purposely sought as she is blocked from seeing my facebook posts, and th commissioner actually put an order in place that I have to delete my facebook account and am no longer able to have one.

Holy attack on my first amendment rights, Batman. I did not see that coming.

Anyone know if this court has the right to impose such an order?

 

[quincy]

So, it gets better.

I had my hearing today and they dismissed / vacated the injunction as hoped and expected.

That said, my ex showed up with the previously stated facebook posts, which she purposely sought as she is blocked from seeing my facebook posts, and th commissioner actually put an order in place that I have to delete my facebook account and am no longer able to have one.

Holy attack on my first amendment rights, Batman. I did not see that coming.

Anyone know if this court has the right to impose such an order?

It could be challenged.

Prior restraint "gives public officials the power to deny use of a forum in advance of its actual expression" (Black's Law Dictionary, 6th Ed, 1990). The First Amendment prohibits restraint on a publication before it is published.

How much do you value your Facebook account? Or, how much do you value more your right to free expression?

 

[vh5150]

I value all of my rights very passionately, I guess my main concern is that if I request a De Novo, I also take the risk of them ordering an injunction this time around. This is a small town, and she knows everyone in the courts up there, very close friends of her family - and that could work against me.

What I did discover, and I do not know if this can help, is that they intended to give me a copy of the orders that were enacted today, and stated they would mail notification of the dismissal. They actually gave me a copy of the dismissal, and not the orders. What was peculiar is that they had our case # on it, and also had the ex listed as the petitioner, but I was not listed as the respondent, someone else was. I CCAP'd the name and found the person listed, he had a similar case in the same county in June, so somehow his name was erroneously entered on this order that I was provided, and mine was not.

What really gets me on this is that the divorce was filed by me in my county. The two harassment cases that have now been dismissed were filed in her county, yet they enacted an online communication and dictated what could and not be communicated with regards to divorce topics, on a case that was not even in their county. I do not understand how this can happen.

Short of any other legal remedies, and I can think of none, I think I am forced to open an injunction hearing on her as I have past documented threats from her, and in combination with these newest unsubstantiated and dismissed filings by her, I think it goes to show a pattern of behavior that would fall under a domestic abuse injunction definition. This includes threatening Facebook posts, threatening email, as well her own family's testimony of her having my death planned, and her intent to carry it out herself. If I get the injunction, I plan to request that my County then also take over the jurisdiction of the Our Family Wizard requirement, being the county applicable to our divorce, and request that they work with the second county involved here, to lift the social media orders, and take over monitoring as needed, going forward.

I guess the way I see it, if she has an injunction than she is not allowed to purposely access my FB acct which she is blocked from, hence, no need for any orders preventing my use of the same.

As always, open for any ideas or suggestions here.

 

[stealth2]

Do you still have mutual friends? Betcha one of them gave her access to your posts. Maybe you need new friends.

 

[vh5150]

Do you still have mutual friends? Betcha one of them gave her access to your posts. Maybe you need new friends.

Undoubtedly there are mutual friends, however I have no way of knowing this for sure. I honestly don't care who sees my posts, I have nothing to hide and I conduct myself in manner that is appropriate and legal. I do however wish that I could find a way to prevent her from attempting to use them against me after purposely seeking them out.

 

[LdiJ]

Undoubtedly there are mutual friends, however I have no way of knowing this for sure. I honestly don't care who sees my posts, I have nothing to hide and I conduct myself in manner that is appropriate and legal. I do however wish that I could find a way to prevent her from attempting to use them against me after purposely seeking them out.

Do you discuss her or your divorce at all on Facebook?

 

[stealth2]

Undoubtedly there are mutual friends, however I have no way of knowing this for sure. I honestly don't care who sees my posts, I have nothing to hide and I conduct myself in manner that is appropriate and legal. I do however wish that I could find a way to prevent her from attempting to use them against me after purposely seeking them out.

The point was, if your friends are sharing your posts with her, she is NOT purposely seeking them out.

The men suggest keeping at least two degrees of separation, with the exception of mutual kids. Don't discuss the ex or the divorce with any mutual friends, or where friends of mutual friends will see/hear it. In other words - stop giving others ammunition to give to her.

 

[vh5150]

Do you discuss her or your divorce at all on Facebook?

Rarely, but I am sure I have mentioned outcomes of some of our hearings, etc. I have also talked openly about the dismissals of all the litigation she has brought against me. Not in a negative way and not demeaning, just factual. The courts have never found any issue with any of the content that has been presented, and both of these injunction requests have been denied/dismissed/vacated.

Same end result, I simply cannot understand how a court can find no wrong doing, then in the same hearing limit my first amendment rights to free speech. They have now also limited how often I am able to post in the online system (OFW), and have a limit of 15 words per post. It is almost as if they are restricting my communication in such a way as to make it easier for her to try to entrap me, without ever finding any wrong doing on my point. And remember, this is all done within one of the harassment cases that was dismissed, this county is NOT a party to my divorce and is putting limitations on the communication needed that is related to the divorce (unsettled terms, shared costs, visitation schedule, etc)

 

[Silverplum]

Rarely, but I am sure I have mentioned outcomes of some of our hearings, etc. I have also talked openly about the dismissals of all the litigation she has brought against me. Not in a negative way and not demeaning, just factual. The courts have never found any issue with any of the content that has been presented, and both of these injunction requests have been denied/dismissed/vacated.

Same end result, I simply cannot understand how a court can find no wrong doing, then in the same hearing limit my first amendment rights to free speech. They have now also limited how often I am able to post in the online system (OFW), and have a limit of 15 words per post. It is almost as if they are restricting my communication in such a way as to make it easier for her to try to entrap me, without ever finding any wrong doing on my point. And remember, this is all done within one of the harassment cases that was dismissed, this county is NOT a party to my divorce and is putting limitations on the communication needed that is related to the divorce (unsettled terms, shared costs, visitation schedule, etc)

Hire an attorney.

 

[quincy]

Rarely, but I am sure I have mentioned outcomes of some of our hearings, etc. I have also talked openly about the dismissals of all the litigation she has brought against me. Not in a negative way and not demeaning, just factual. The courts have never found any issue with any of the content that has been presented, and both of these injunction requests have been denied/dismissed/vacated.

Same end result, I simply cannot understand how a court can find no wrong doing, then in the same hearing limit my first amendment rights to free speech. They have now also limited how often I am able to post in the online system (OFW), and have a limit of 15 words per post. It is almost as if they are restricting my communication in such a way as to make it easier for her to try to entrap me, without ever finding any wrong doing on my point. And remember, this is all done within one of the harassment cases that was dismissed, this county is NOT a party to my divorce and is putting limitations on the communication needed that is related to the divorce (unsettled terms, shared costs, visitation schedule, etc)

I think you mentioned earlier that the injunction was dismissed/vacated but you did not receive copies of the judge's order to stop posting on Facebook. You have a copy of an order that limits how much you can say?

I thought it possible that the words of the judge never made it into an order, knowing as the judge probably does that an order that prevents expression would be unenforceable if challenged. The judge might have been trying to make it clear to both you and your ex-wife that you are BOTH fueling the fire and fanning the flames, her with the continued court complaints and you with your postings on Facebook that refer to her, however oblique the references might be.

Whatever the case, it seems to me that giving up your Facebook account to preserve the peace could be a small price to pay for that peace. That said, I agree with Silverplum that discussing all of this with an attorney in your area would be a very smart idea.

 

[Silverplum]

I think all grownups should eschew facebook. How ridiculous is it to yap about your life to the general public?

My Mother taught me to be careful of what I write, and to avoid writing anything I did not want to be published in the local newspaper, on the front page. She did me a great service with that one. You should consider it.

 

[Proserpina]

What concerns me is that it would be incredibly easy for someone else to make a FB page in OP's name, and start posting all sorts of nonsense. That's frightening.