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Falsely Accused

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qxct

Junior Member
I reside in WA. My on again, off again live in girlfriend just recently accused and had me arrested for DV. My 14yr old nephew was in the house the whole time. He was "ear" witness to everything and "eye" witness to some. He did not witness any assualt by me, nor did he hear any sounds of a "scuffle" / assualt. However, before anything he heard me yelling out for her to stop hitting me (we were arguing in an adjoining room 15ft away) while I was holding our 9 month old chld. -[U] how much stock or how importance are his statements to what he witnessed/heard?[/U]. Additionally, my nephew (he practically lives at my house) has witnessed this woman hitting on me in the past.

The 14yr old gave a staement to the police, but in spite of that I was the one hauled off. One cop said if I had called (because she was hitting me) it's probable she would have been taken. But, than again we know how under reported DV against men is!

My nephew is a "slow" kid, I guess just immature for his age, and I am afraid of what this process will do/have effect on him. I am taking this all the way to trial if I have too..Will the DA' attempt to verbally/mentally abuse him?

Innocent until proven guilty...what a sham. I have lost all faith and trust in our legal system.
 
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seniorjudge

Senior Member
qxct said:
I reside in WA. My on again, off again live in girlfriend just recently accused and had me arrested for DV. My 14yr old nephew was in the house the whole time. He was "ear" witness to everything and "eye" witness to some. He did not witness any assualt by me, nor did he hear any sounds of a "scuffle" / assualt. However, before anything he heard me yelling out for her to stop hitting me (we were arguing in an adjoining room 15ft away) while I was holding our 9 month old chld. -[U] how much stock or how importance are his statements to what he witnessed/heard?[/U]. Additionally, my nephew (he practically lives at my house) has witnessed this woman hitting on me in the past.

The 14yr old gave a staement to the police, but in spite of that I was the one hauled off. One cop said if I had called (because she was hitting me) it's probable she would have been taken. But, than again we know how under reported DV against men is!

My nephew is a "slow" kid, I guess just immature for his age, and I am afraid of what this process will do/have effect on him. I am taking this all the way to trial if I have too..Will the DA' attempt to verbally/mentally abuse him?

Innocent until proven guilty...what a sham. I have lost all faith and trust in our legal system.
These orders are handed out like candy because no judge wants to see his name on the front page (above the fold) of the local newspaper saying that he refused to give somebody an order who later on killed the victim.
 

qxct

Junior Member
Clarify -pleae

I'm not sure I understand? These orders? To arrest someone when 911 is called???
 
qxct said:
I'm not sure I understand? These orders? To arrest someone when 911 is called???
Well the thing is - the police have to take it seriously and so normally yes - they will arrest someone when they are called out for DV. Did she have any marks on her?
 

qxct

Junior Member
by miracle she produced a bruise on her upper arm. This bruise looked several day's old...from where? beyond me! The 14yr old told the cops he heard no struggle or fighting. She locked herself in the back bathroom...while I returned to the family room where my nephew was. Mind you, she had been drinking all night...again, something the 14yr old stated.
 
Well then if the DA files charges then plan on getting a lawyer. Also, just because your nephew didn't hear or see you assult her doesn't mean that you didn't (some victims get choked and that's hard to hear from another room) - plus your nephew didn't see everything (so just as quick as you can say "he didn't see me hit her" the other side could say "well he didn't see you NOT hit her"). I'm not saying that you did or didn't assult her but be prepared to try and prove that you didn't. Did your girlfriend ever speak to the police or did she stay locked in the bathroom? Bottom line is that if the DA wants to go forward with charges then you'll need a lawyer if you want to fight it.
 
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ceara19

Senior Member
AmarieNorton said:
Well then if the DA files charges then plan on getting a lawyer. Also, just because your nephew didn't hear or see you assult her doesn't mean that you didn't (some victims get choked and that's hard to hear from another room) - plus your nephew didn't see everything (so just as quick as you can say "he didn't see me hit her" the other side could say "well he didn't see you NOT hit her"). I'm not saying that you did or didn't assult her but be prepared to try and prove that you didn't. Did your girlfriend ever speak to the police or did she stay locked in the bathroom? Bottom line is that if the DA wants to go forward with charges then you'll need a lawyer if you want to fight it.
If you choke a person hard enough to silence them, it would leave a mark.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
qxct said:
Innocent until proven guilty...what a sham. I have lost all faith and trust in our legal system.
Well, you have NOT been found guilty. If so, you wouldn't be out and able to write this story on a computer.

You indicate that she has assaulted you in the past, but, you do not indicate that you have not hit her at any time. This sounds like a dysfunctional relationship that could potentially leave your child a ward of the state should it continue. Most states have found that it is not in the child's best interests to remain in a home where the adults are beating on each other. If she is the aggressor - get out.

Also, the law in virtually all the states encourages arrests at the scene of a DV. Due to the volatile and insidious nature of DV, the police are encouraged or mandated by law to arrest one of the parties - particularly if there is a visible injury alleged to have been caused by the perpetrator.

As has been suggested, it is time to consult an attorney. An attorney can obtain a copy of the police report and evaluate the strength of the state's case against you. It may be weak enough that no charges are forthcoming ... on the other hand, it may be sufficient to charge but leave room for a good "deal". But, obtaining that attorney is a good first step.

The second step would be to get out of this relationship. If she is an alcoholic and abusive woman, then you should not stay with her. If you do, expect more of this in your future, and don't scream "foul" when it happens again.

- Carl
 

qxct

Junior Member
I have never struck her or put a hand on her in anger, ever. I think I have settled on an attorney. I never did report her hitting me because I didn't think nothing of it, only that she has a "temper". A guy's idea of assualt is the big bully in school or the idiot that drank to much and took a swing at you...not your wife, mother of your child. Wow, I have since spoken to many people and have learned that this is one of the principal reasons abuse by woman, on men, goes un-reported. More disturbing to me is that she would hit me while holding our son. Utter disregard for his safety, much less mine. I was asking the officers -..."what about child endangerment?" I have two people that can/will give statements that they have seen her in anger hitting me. She has very much the "aggressor" psyche.

Yes, quite dysfunctional (hindsight). We were in couples (-and individual) counseling when all this happened. Trying to deal with relationship issues and childhood issues on both our parts, doing what I thought was the right thing. For the sake of everyone involved, father, mother and child.

Visible injury? Bruise? Because I maintain that that bruise did not come at my hands, I did some research about bruises. The American Journnal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology states that the color of a bruise does not indicate definitively the time of occurence (much less source). This position is also taken by the DoJ's own literature. But, that a beat cop see's this (bruise) and play's judge and doctor (pathology) by making a "professional" decision is absolutely absurd. And that, he set's in motion a chain of event's that could lead to a miscarriage of justice.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
The officer is not expected to be a forensic pathologist, a physician, or an expert in the psychology of abuse. The law is relatively simple for what the officer has to do.

Ultimately, the state has to prove their case if they take you to trial. If your defense is that the bruise came from unknown origin, then the state will have to counter that argument.

Your claim of her past aggressive behavior does nothing to show she was the aggressor in the current case ... it only goes to show that the relationship was dysfunctional.

Ultimately, speak to an attorney and see what his advice is.

- Carl
 

qxct

Junior Member
I have retained an attorney for this and will go to trial if need be. A person earlier replied that I obviosuly wasn't convicted yet because I'm free to write this. True, but that I invite him/her to stand in my shoes to experience what/how "free" I am. You hit the nail on the head; the law is "simple". The fact that officers have [now] little ability to exercise discretion and act more like robots with a basic and simple instruction set put's them on par with a "simple" computer. The reality is that they don't operate in a vacuum. Was this authority to exercise discretion [by the police] taken from them because it was at the time believed that their ability to do so was ineffective or wrong for some reason? And that our judicial system now has a "better" grasp on the problem [sociological] because of these measures? I guess the crime data [et al.] now would support the effectiveness of these measures? Miraculously society is cured of one it's ugliest sicknesses all because those basic constitutional rights afforded to a person are better suspended.

Don't get me wrong; I do believe the law truly serves a just purpose. But that, it allows for abuse [injustice] in it's current iteration is wrong.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
qxct said:
I have retained an attorney for this and will go to trial if need be. A person earlier replied that I obviosuly wasn't convicted yet because I'm free to write this. True, but that I invite him/her to stand in my shoes to experience what/how "free" I am. You hit the nail on the head; the law is "simple". The fact that officers have [now] little ability to exercise discretion and act more like robots with a basic and simple instruction set put's them on par with a "simple" computer. The reality is that they don't operate in a vacuum. Was this authority to exercise discretion [by the police] taken from them because it was at the time believed that their ability to do so was ineffective or wrong for some reason? And that our judicial system now has a "better" grasp on the problem [sociological] because of these measures? I guess the crime data [et al.] now would support the effectiveness of these measures? Miraculously society is cured of one it's ugliest sicknesses all because those basic constitutional rights afforded to a person are better suspended.

Don't get me wrong; I do believe the law truly serves a just purpose. But that, it allows for abuse [injustice] in it's current iteration is wrong.
Even though it wasn't fair that you were arrested w/o signifigant evidence that you did hit her, the police had no other option then to arrest you. There are too many times that the abused party does not cooperate with the authorities or they did make a statement, the police didn't feel that there was enough evidence and the abused later ends up dead because the police didn't act. So now they always err on the side of caution.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
qxct said:
You hit the nail on the head; the law is "simple". The fact that officers have [now] little ability to exercise discretion and act more like robots with a basic and simple instruction set put's them on par with a "simple" computer.
Maybe so. But there are reasons for that.

The reality is that they don't operate in a vacuum. Was this authority to exercise discretion [by the police] taken from them because it was at the time believed that their ability to do so was ineffective or wrong for some reason?
It was largely because victims were too terrified or traumatized to press charges against their abusers, so the cycle continued. When an officer would respond, the victim would either clam up or deny the abuse - even with clear evidence to the contrary - and the situation would be left untouched ... and their children would then grow into the next generation of abusers and victims.

The simple answer is that the laws changed to encourage and/or mandate an arrest, a report to CPS, and a host of other actions to support the victim and the family in many cases because of the insidious nature of DV. If you feel you were caught in that broad net unfairly, there is not much I or anyone else here can do about that. However, you acknowledge that you remained in a relationship that was abusive (her alledgly victimizing you), so this was a predictable result - provided that accusation is true.

And that our judicial system now has a "better" grasp on the problem [sociological] because of these measures? I guess the crime data [et al.] now would support the effectiveness of these measures?
Actually, it does. Prior to about 1990 there was no good data on the problem because it was largely seen as a family problem ... going back to "the good ol' days" when wives were chattel. A victim would cower in the corner, say she fell and bumped her head, deny her husband beat her, and the cops would have no choice but to leave it be ... and to top it off there were no (or few) DV statutes on the books!

Yes, the current state of affairs IS an improvement. We just have to be mindful to keep the laws from getting TOO draconian. There was a measure proposed in CA several years back that would have permitted the hearsay evidence of the victim into trial (not just the preliminary hearing as is permitted in CA) so the suspect would not have an opportunity to cross examine the accuser. While I sympathize with the intent of the legislation, it would have been contrary to our system of justice and I - like most cops - rejected it. And so did the legislature.

Miraculously society is cured of one it's ugliest sicknesses all because those basic constitutional rights afforded to a person are better suspended.
Name one constitutional right that has been suspended.

Don't get me wrong; I do believe the law truly serves a just purpose. But that, it allows for abuse [injustice] in it's current iteration is wrong.
Then change it. However, I'm curious what part about it you would change. Would you make it so that no arrest could be made absent a videotape or the sworn statements of three witnesses? No arrest absent a warrant? What?

The burden of proof for an arrest has ALWAYS (even before DV laws and the Patriot Act) been much, much lower than that needed for trial. All that is needed for an arrest is "probable cause" to believe that a crime has been committed and that the suspect committed the crime. This is a relatively low burden to overcome. The DA will want proof beyond a "reasonable doubt" before moving forward. One can have sufficient probable cause without having evidence beyond a reasonable doubt. This is one of the reasons why so few DV cases ever go to court. More than 75% of DV victims recant before court (often within 24 hours), and many of them are willing to perjure themselves to the court to save their abuser.

It is a sad state of affairs. And why any woman - or man - would stay in an abusive relationship is beyond me.


- Carl
 
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qxct

Junior Member
Well put and you have shed some additional insight. I admit that I am not an attorney nor psychologist. Therefore, I do not pretend to have all (-or any) of the answers. To change the law, how? I don't know but I can't help keep from saying that the pendulum has swung way to far the other way. There has to be some better balance...You ask why anyone would stay in an abusive relationship? That this is beyond you...the answer(s) my friend is/are easy and complex. I can speak from experience. I remember as a child my older male figures telling me to "suck it up"..."oh, that didn't hurt"..."come on, don't be a sissy!" Without hesitation we teach our daughters that if someone hurts them to run and tell someone and in the same breath we tell our son's to stop whining and ask "did you win/lose the schoolyard fight?". I now realize how these comments and upbringing can shape how a man and woman views pain, hurt and anguish. It's all about perception and this lesson begins at an early age. I never viewed her "hitting" me. I saw her as being "upset", blowing a gasket. This experience really has rearranged how I percieve things. We were in couples counseling because we share a child, or had we not surely [I think] I would have left this some time ago. That there are long term implications at stake her was reason enough for me. Simply leaving doesn't solve anything and actually takes you out of a position to have input or to be able to initiate any corrective action. Remember, I can leave but my child [can't, and] will likely remain in that environment...and the cycle continues.

Question Carl - I'd like to say, that when I am pleading to the officers that at the onset of the argument she began striking me while holding our child, they hardly acknowledged it. The 14yr old child in the room next door heard me yelling to her to stop hitting me, he told the police this...she admits that during all this I had my son in my arms. The only thing missing is an "eye" witness putting 1 and 1 together. But, just like her accusation against me this element is lacking in both. Why wouldn't they make a report of this? That this woman has shown me that she has so little regard for the safety of our son REALLY scares me.
 
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