Falsely Accused of Domestic Assault

[fire_medic]

Kentucky

I am a college student and I had dated a girl for about a year. I moved in with her on August 1. While she was always a nice enough girl with good intentions, she was extremely clingy and possessive; often becoming emotional at the drop of a pin over small things. She would call me and text me multiple times a day. It got to the point that I would ignore her calls and texts. After four weeks of living with her, I came home from class one night and went into my bathroom to shave before going to work. She began to chew me out for not calling her back and ignoring her calls all day. She then threw her phone at me, shattering it against a wall in my room. I continued shaving because she has a history of throwing things when she gets upset. I finished shaving, the whole time she was still yelling at me. I just kept telling her that I didn't really care anymore. She charged into the bathroom and began ripping down my shower curtain. I grabbed her hands to stop her and she backed off, so I let go. I then went into my room and got my phone to call my friends to come over so that I would have a witness to all of this. She threw her phone at me again and then threw a listerine bottle at me. She then charged at me and threw punches at me. I did not retaliate. I left the residence, with her throwing her phone at me a final time as I walked out of the door. I met my friends in the parking lot, right next to a detective who I know and who just two weeks prior I had told that I was in a relationship where I felt trapped and I was afraid of what my girlfriend would do to me if I broke up with her. She stormed out and screamed at me, saying "f you I hope you f'ing die".

I went and told the detective what happened and that I was afraid that she would say that I did something when I didn't. He just told me to avoid her. The next morning, I woke up to a sheriff's deputy calling me to serve me papers for an EPO regarding domestic assault. The EPO was denied by the judge. Her statement was not even close to what happened that evening, but she did admit to throwing and breaking her phone and she never said that I hit her. She said that I came at her with my disposable razor and that I grabbed her arms after she threw her phone at me.

Two days later, I got served a second EPO, which was also denied by the judge. My ex-gf changed her statement, now saying that I threw her across the room and that she was scared for her life because there was a pocket knife on a nearby table.

I have a hearing next week in regards to this matter. I just wanted to break up with this girl and get out of the relationship. I have since moved back in with my old roommates. I want nothing to do with her but she is upset with me for breaking up with her and is being vindictive. I work for EMS and I am preparing to go to medical school. I am very worried that the judge is going to believe her story just because she is the girl. I would lose my EMT and Paramedic numbers, my job, and I probably would not be able to go to medical school. I talked with the detective from the night of the incident and told him what was going on. He told me that the judge denied the EPO based on his report, but I don't know what his report said. My questions are as follows:

1) What do I do next? (I am a college kid I can't afford an attorney)

2) How do I build a case to support what really happened?

3) Is the fact that the detective is on my side and the fact that the EPO's were both denied, even though the second one claimed to have involved weapons, a positive sign for me?

4) Am I just completely screwed?

 

[mistoffolees]

1. Do whatever the court tells you. If they say to be there at 8 am on Sept 10 for a hearing, BE THERE.

2. I would very seriously consider borrowing the money for an attorney. Your entire future could theoretically be on the line here. You're looking at maybe a couple of hours of attorney time - shouldn't be that much. People have had really bad things happen that shouldn't have ever happened when they try to do things on their own.

3. Not to downplay the importance of #2, but assuming that you've told the whole story, you will probably be OK. The judge already rejected the TRO twice and she keeps changing her story. She didn't call the police at the time. The detective is backing your story - at least the limited parts he could witness. I would ask the court for a TRO against her because of her violence and willful lies to the court. (she has probably also committed perjury).

Some schools have legal aid services that will help students and that's better than nothing, but I'd really suggest getting an attorney - just to be safe considering that your career is on the line.

(That assumes that it really is a threat to your career. I could imagine that a conviction might keep you out of med school, but I'm not sure a TRO would - you might want to check on that, as well).

 

[Hot Topic]

You're lying about the girl's phone. You went into the bathroom to shave. You say that she threw it at you and that it hit the wall in your room and shattered. Yet you claim that she threw the phone again when you were trying to reach one of your friends to come over and witness the confrontation. She threw the supposedly shattered phone a third time as you were leaving.

Gee, such a calm, reasonable guy forced to date for almost a year a girl who is "nice" enough but clingy and possessive, who then moves in with her.