What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? AZ
My wife (20 years) filed a protective order against me. It prevents me from contacting her at our former mutual address - I moved out November 1st. Plus I cannot be within 50 feet of her. There is no protective order of the children. We have 4.
In the protective order she alleges I came into a room and began yelling at her, that I went to her bedroom and pushed her out with the door, that this worried her because I had previously destroyed and taken her property, that I demanded the children spend time with me and said I would take my daughter in handcuffs and hand cuff her to the bed, that I threatened to "crush" my wife.
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In reverse order : I did threaten to get a lawyer to legally crush my wife. I have consulted with two attorneys but have not hired one yet - I showed both attorneys pictures of my wife's hoarding and they said I could call CPS and have the children taken. They think I have many solid issues that would allow me to take most of the property and the kids. I do not want to do this as I know this would alienate the kids from me - and I told her she better cooperate or I would legally crush her. However in the protective order she simply said "He threatened me to force her (daughter to visit) or he would "crush" me" [italics within italics are hers]
The lawyers I consulted did say that if we got a parenting schedule enforced, if they did not comply I could go as far as having the police intervene - I really do not remember saying something like have her in hand cuffs and am sure I did not say I would hand cuff her to the bed. I have never even spanked any of my children.
I did not destroy any property. I came to get some things, and reaching for them, some christmas ornaments fell off the tree and broke. They were mine from my childhood. I did not intentionally destroy them. I have an email exchange with my wife - that took 9 replies back and forth but I got her to admit it was some christmas ornaments, they were mine from childhood and they broke - were not "destroyed". In the email she admits nothing else was destroyed. In the same emails she admits the property I took was pictures from the wall when I moved out, of the family, which were given to me as a fathers day gift. I felt entitled to them and wanted a picture of me and the children for the wall.
I did push her with the door. The whole reason I was over was it was my sons 8th birthday. I went (with permission) to read the book HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. Its a long family tradition, and it was my book growing up. It was not where it was on the book shelf in our bedroom. I wanted to look for it - my name is on the mortgage and there was no restraining order. I heard her yell and come running for me to leave - I shut the door on her and locked it. There was no physical contact. I could not find the book. She called the police who came and documented a verbal only fight in a police report.
I did argue with her in the other room - she yelled at me too. Because she has a habit of writing nasty things about me and leaving them out in public areas. This time she left them on the center of the floor where she staged the gift giving for my 8 years olds birthday. I asked to talk to her in private to ask her yet again not to leave nasty writings about me out in public, especially at things like a birthday party. We did raise our voices and I did cuss.
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With the 50 feet rule on the restraining order I cannot go to my sons classroom if she is there - and she works there every Friday - when they usually have parties. I had to miss my sons baptism even though he requested I confirm him as his tradition in our church. I will not be able to go to my older sons eagle scout award ceremony. It also makes it highly convenient to pick up my kids to see them. She has been awful about letting me see them. I had made formal plans to see them 6-9 new years eve and instead she took them to the movies. I had made plans far in advance to take my daughter horse back riding new years day and instead without telling me she decided to take them horseback riding - I found out by reading my sons facebook page, and went over in the very early morning on New Years day (everyone was still in bed but my oldest son) and did get loud about how wrong it was to mess up my plans like that. On January 6th (the supposed handcuff day) I took my bishop as a witness to tell her she needs to let me see the kids or I would lawyer up and "crush her legally".
I have copies of her private writings about what an awful person she thinks I am - includes comments like "I wish he was dead", "today he had a bad day lecturing the kids about watching too much TV" etc - but she left them in a common public area like the kitchen so I felt ok copying them. WOuld the judge allow them as admissible evidence.
Any advice you have would be appreciated - even if it is that I am completely wrong and just accept it
My wife (20 years) filed a protective order against me. It prevents me from contacting her at our former mutual address - I moved out November 1st. Plus I cannot be within 50 feet of her. There is no protective order of the children. We have 4.
In the protective order she alleges I came into a room and began yelling at her, that I went to her bedroom and pushed her out with the door, that this worried her because I had previously destroyed and taken her property, that I demanded the children spend time with me and said I would take my daughter in handcuffs and hand cuff her to the bed, that I threatened to "crush" my wife.
============================
In reverse order : I did threaten to get a lawyer to legally crush my wife. I have consulted with two attorneys but have not hired one yet - I showed both attorneys pictures of my wife's hoarding and they said I could call CPS and have the children taken. They think I have many solid issues that would allow me to take most of the property and the kids. I do not want to do this as I know this would alienate the kids from me - and I told her she better cooperate or I would legally crush her. However in the protective order she simply said "He threatened me to force her (daughter to visit) or he would "crush" me" [italics within italics are hers]
The lawyers I consulted did say that if we got a parenting schedule enforced, if they did not comply I could go as far as having the police intervene - I really do not remember saying something like have her in hand cuffs and am sure I did not say I would hand cuff her to the bed. I have never even spanked any of my children.
I did not destroy any property. I came to get some things, and reaching for them, some christmas ornaments fell off the tree and broke. They were mine from my childhood. I did not intentionally destroy them. I have an email exchange with my wife - that took 9 replies back and forth but I got her to admit it was some christmas ornaments, they were mine from childhood and they broke - were not "destroyed". In the email she admits nothing else was destroyed. In the same emails she admits the property I took was pictures from the wall when I moved out, of the family, which were given to me as a fathers day gift. I felt entitled to them and wanted a picture of me and the children for the wall.
I did push her with the door. The whole reason I was over was it was my sons 8th birthday. I went (with permission) to read the book HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. Its a long family tradition, and it was my book growing up. It was not where it was on the book shelf in our bedroom. I wanted to look for it - my name is on the mortgage and there was no restraining order. I heard her yell and come running for me to leave - I shut the door on her and locked it. There was no physical contact. I could not find the book. She called the police who came and documented a verbal only fight in a police report.
I did argue with her in the other room - she yelled at me too. Because she has a habit of writing nasty things about me and leaving them out in public areas. This time she left them on the center of the floor where she staged the gift giving for my 8 years olds birthday. I asked to talk to her in private to ask her yet again not to leave nasty writings about me out in public, especially at things like a birthday party. We did raise our voices and I did cuss.
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With the 50 feet rule on the restraining order I cannot go to my sons classroom if she is there - and she works there every Friday - when they usually have parties. I had to miss my sons baptism even though he requested I confirm him as his tradition in our church. I will not be able to go to my older sons eagle scout award ceremony. It also makes it highly convenient to pick up my kids to see them. She has been awful about letting me see them. I had made formal plans to see them 6-9 new years eve and instead she took them to the movies. I had made plans far in advance to take my daughter horse back riding new years day and instead without telling me she decided to take them horseback riding - I found out by reading my sons facebook page, and went over in the very early morning on New Years day (everyone was still in bed but my oldest son) and did get loud about how wrong it was to mess up my plans like that. On January 6th (the supposed handcuff day) I took my bishop as a witness to tell her she needs to let me see the kids or I would lawyer up and "crush her legally".
I have copies of her private writings about what an awful person she thinks I am - includes comments like "I wish he was dead", "today he had a bad day lecturing the kids about watching too much TV" etc - but she left them in a common public area like the kitchen so I felt ok copying them. WOuld the judge allow them as admissible evidence.
Any advice you have would be appreciated - even if it is that I am completely wrong and just accept it