GF family are bullies, what evidence do i need to help break her from it.

[Oryan_Packs]

Bronx, NY

I'll make this short and straight,

GF family are bullies, basically haters cause her life is better (they are fatherless and male less with children from different dad's yes.. one of those stories why I said I just getting to the points). They keep coming to our home at any time and all hours. They constantly making really hurtful emotional attacks on her and me (behind my back, my GF tells me.) when ask why not stand up, she says it's a Latino culture because all the males are deceiver and other things you properly hear. I told her that I'm about to start calling police on them cause they even go to say they want her to get my money to give to them (she gives half of her pay check). i keep telling her there's abuse and extortion. I tell her that she's an adult and that she has to file legal acts to stop them. I can see fear in her eyes the frozen look and the anxiety attacks.

So now I want to gear up for legal actions, my worries that I may not be able to get all the evidence without her. Of course I could just leave her to her fate but I do really love her.
What I need to know, what if I record (audio/video) how much weight does that have? what is the content should I have? I know it would just be only a restraining order but I figure police complaints might rattle them. Or I'm just in for a very long painful road.

 

[Just Blue]

Step back and let her deal with her family. If this situation is wrong to you ...move on.

 

[Oryan_Packs]

Step back and let her deal with her family. If this situation is wrong to you ...move on.

Is there anything I can tell her as to steps to help her break away, it's true it's her battle. I'm trying to give her that hope of freedom from this problem

 

[Just Blue]

Is there anything I can tell her as to steps to help her break away, it's true it's her battle. I'm trying to give her that hope of freedom from this problem

Yes there is something you can tell her.

Just say NO.

 

[Proserpina]

Bronx, NY

I'll make this short and straight,

GF family are bullies, basically haters cause her life is better (they are fatherless and male less with children from different dad's yes.. one of those stories why I said I just getting to the points). They keep coming to our home at any time and all hours. They constantly making really hurtful emotional attacks on her and me (behind my back, my GF tells me.) when ask why not stand up, she says it's a Latino culture because all the males are deceiver and other things you properly hear. I told her that I'm about to start calling police on them cause they even go to say they want her to get my money to give to them (she gives half of her pay check). i keep telling her there's abuse and extortion. I tell her that she's an adult and that she has to file legal acts to stop them. I can see fear in her eyes the frozen look and the anxiety attacks.

So now I want to gear up for legal actions, my worries that I may not be able to get all the evidence without her. Of course I could just leave her to her fate but I do really love her.
What I need to know, what if I record (audio/video) how much weight does that have? what is the content should I have? I know it would just be only a restraining order but I figure police complaints might rattle them. Or I'm just in for a very long painful road.

I'm reading something else in your post. I think your girlfriend is not nearly as vulnerable than she's what she's portraying to you. Tread carefully. Very carefully.

And for the love of Pete, don't even THINK of recording audio in that manner.

 

[Silverplum]

Bronx, NY

I'll make this short and straight,

GF family are bullies, basically haters cause her life is better (they are fatherless and male less with children from different dad's yes.. one of those stories why I said I just getting to the points). They keep coming to our home at any time and all hours. They constantly making really hurtful emotional attacks on her and me (behind my back, my GF tells me.) when ask why not stand up, she says it's a Latino culture because all the males are deceiver and other things you properly hear. I told her that I'm about to start calling police on them cause they even go to say they want her to get my money to give to them (she gives half of her pay check). i keep telling her there's abuse and extortion. I tell her that she's an adult and that she has to file legal acts to stop them. I can see fear in her eyes the frozen look and the anxiety attacks.

So now I want to gear up for legal actions, my worries that I may not be able to get all the evidence without her. Of course I could just leave her to her fate but I do really love her.
What I need to know, what if I record (audio/video) how much weight does that have? what is the content should I have? I know it would just be only a restraining order but I figure police complaints might rattle them. Or I'm just in for a very long painful road.

Legally, you can do nothing. Not recording, not deciphering the law for her.

You could help her find counseling.

 

[Oryan_Packs]

Legally, you can do nothing. Not recording, not deciphering the law for her.

You could help her find counseling.

Thank you all for your advice, I figure there wasn't much I could do. someone told me if i was married than it "might have" been slightly different.
Proserpina: I thought if one was felt it was criminal act being committed that recording was allowed? is it because I'm not involved in direct communication of them or would just anger them?

 

[Silverplum]

Thank you all for your advice, I figure there wasn't much I could do. someone told me if i was married than it "might have" been slightly different.
Proserpina: I thought if one was felt it was criminal act being committed that recording was allowed? is it because I'm not involved in direct communication of them or would just anger them?

No, if you are married you are not given the right to wiretap her relatives (or anyone else.)

Also, you cannot "fix" her life or her family.

 

[cbg]

Just curious -how old is your girlfriend?

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you all for your advice, I figure there wasn't much I could do. someone told me if i was married than it "might have" been slightly different.
Proserpina: I thought if one was felt it was criminal act being committed that recording was allowed? is it because I'm not involved in direct communication of them or would just anger them?

Marriage would make no difference.

Which criminal act do you think is going on? Why would you be taping it instead of calling the police?

 

[Oryan_Packs]

Just curious -how old is your girlfriend?

26, which why i keep telling her she's an adult that she has more rights.
I know sometimes when one is kept too long in this type of situation they psychological become "damage".

 

[Oryan_Packs]

Marriage would make no difference.

Which criminal act do you think is going on? Why would you be taping it instead of calling the police?

more of evidence or if it gets escalated to violence, i know because of words wiretapping is way illegal without cause of physical harm. I also have suspicion of one of the other bully family member of child abuse to their own child (under 8 years) however I be speaking out from you now where cause I don't have any expertise nor really apparent evidence either.

As to other family members the close ones refuses to be involved cause of their own issues. Seems dysfunctional runs in the family.

At the end of this I was trying to see how help her protect herself and end this night mare.

 

[Proserpina]

more of evidence or if it gets escalated to violence, i know because of words wiretapping is way illegal without cause of physical harm. I also have suspicion of one of the other bully family member of child abuse to their own child (under 8 years) however I be speaking out from you now where cause I don't have any expertise nor really apparent evidence either.

As to other family members the close ones refuses to be involved cause of their own issues. Seems dysfunctional runs in the family.

At the end of this I was trying to see how help her protect herself and end this night mare.

You can't record someone illegally based on a "what if".

Seriously, I strongly advise you to step back a little. She's closer to 30 than 20, and you need to be careful - you're the knight in shining armor about to swoop in and rescue the damsel in distress....and possibly get into trouble yourself. You're hearing only one side of the story.

Of course, you're going to do what you think is best. But what happens when she's out of there? Is a new interest going to try and rescue her from you?

 

[stealth2]

26, which why i keep telling her she's an adult that she has more rights.
I know sometimes when one is kept too long in this type of situation they psychological become "damage".

And until SHE is ready to fix heself/her life - YOU can do nothing to change things.

What you CAN do, for you, is get counseling for your codependance.

Otherwise? Walk away. Nothing will change until she chooses to do something on her own.