Help with court proceedings/Domestic Violence & Neglect

[JenAlexis]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida


Thanks ahead of time for any of you reading and any responses you post!
1. My ex and I have been together for 14 years: we were engaged but never married. I gave everything I had to this relationship.
We have 2 children together: ages 12 & 6.

During the first 3 years I discovered a side of him that wasn't present during our dating period: aggression and violent tendencies towards women and an affinity for befriending the most unsavory members of society. We eventually began living mostly separate lives.

I was planning to move to Florida with my family, as my father had just retired from the military. As I pondered whether I really needed his guy in my life...I found out I was pregnant. We reunited for the child's sake, which ended up being a very big mistake...

In the midst of our travels I voiced my concern over the way he was driving... We argued, until he agreed to slow down and let me out. The car was going slow enough as we approached a rest area,so I began opening the door...at which point he stepped on the accelerator, leaving me hanging onto the handle for dear life. He began shoving my shoulder towards the now flung open door, laughing and driving faster....when the force of the wind finally enabled me to pull the door closed...

The next morning, we were packing in a hotel room and got into another argument. I was 6 months pregnant at this time. In his anger, he managed to pick up a heavy hotel room chair and throw it at me will all his strength. Luckily, it only grazed my arm. He then grabs the keys and drives away, leaving me stranded in the middle of the country. He did ome back a few hours later, but this is an example of how he controlled by fear.

Eventually, we arrived to FL, I immediately renewed my nursing license and began looking for work. He progressed from insults and physically abusing pregnant me ( I am 5'0") to verbally abusing my two precious older children. One night the police were called, whom said if either he or I did not leave..we would both be arrested. This seemed extemely unfair, but since S. refused to leave...I took my babies and moved in with some church friends.

After a couple of months, he began showing up at my church, claiming to have been "saved". We talked extensively under the watchful eye of my church friends. Over time, he had everyone convinced that he was a changed man.

We moved several more times, each beginning with an act of abuse or neglect...me fleeing to another state for safety, and him following me each step of the way.
My dad was diagnosed with Cancer in 2000 and taking care of him was all time consuming. Full time work dropped to part time work and I was having trouble making ends meet. He (S) offered to buy me a house so I could concentrate on tending to my father...but over time, claiming it was his house, he moved back in and it all started over again. I began developing severe pains in my body... Physical activity became excrutating, and at first he seemed more than happy to help. He did drive my dad to the hospital a few times...but on the last visit...Dad succumbed to Cancer at age 50.

S. had me all to him self, and things became just crazy. I no longer had any friends in the area. And even though he's got millions in a trust fund, plus a separate business in which he probably makes more than that...it wouldn't move him a bit that the kids were just getting by on food,whilst he would buy pizzas and chinese food for his entire work crew for lunch everyday.

There's also the question of property. Every time we've had to move..he'd just throw everything loose into the trucks. And every time we'd unload for our new house...everything was always broken or destroyed by mold and mildew in the Florida heat. Just about everything I've owned over the course of 14 years no longer exists...

Now to the last 2 years...at this point I could be called disabled due to my deteriorating health. Where I once supported him, it was now up to him to support us - something he abhored and tried desperately to get out of.

We had another baby which was extremely high risk because of my health. No doc in town would touch me...instead I was referred to specialists in Jacksonville. I had filled out all the paperwork for Medicaid and was set to go...all I needed was a signature from him and a copy of his taxes. He refused. Our baby almost didn't survive. The extent of his neglect doesn't stop there, either.

During the last couple years, S has totally neglected us. We'll get a house, rent it...and when he gets tired of it, he just stops paying rent...without mentioning a word of it. Twice in the last 2 years we've had sherrifs come to our door telling us we had 10 min to get our precious items and vacate the premesis. I have lost untold amounts of belogings in this way as well. And finally..the last time this happened he had us staying in a hotel or 6 months.

I tried taking a first step getting a job...even asking the maids at these hotels if they were hiring, just to start building up savings and move away from him. Come to find out, during all this time...he had over $75,000 during our hotel stays and could easily have at least rented an apartment...so many problems happened at this hotel, but he just kept lying, telling me he was broke and there was nothing we could do to leave...maybe it was because he ended up spending most of that money on vintage cars!!

Now that we are finally in a house again, and being homeless is not something I want to ever
have to experience again...however I just found out a couple weeks ago from the landlord that again, S has not been paying rent. When confronted with this...S told me he no longer likes the house and wants out of the contract. We got into an argument. He threw a set of keys at my head, but it missed and hit the wall so hard the plastic tags came flying off. He then proceeded to tear up the house...all of which I have pictures. My youngest daughter witnessed this, screaming for him to stop, as he was shoving me by the shoulders threatening to put me through the glass door. As he turned to began trying to rip the door out of the hinges...I called 911...in which they could hear everything in the background. This time, he was arested. The following Monday, I had an injunction filed......and granted until our hearing.
An injunction he has since broken, by calling and harrassing my mother to the point of tears.


My questons are these:
1. Due to the history of the relationship, what are the odds that the permanent injunction I am asking for will be granted?

2. Due to my physical limitations, nursing is not, unfortunately, someting I will be able to do anymore... there is no way I can afford the home we live in or the car payments as they are. If we weren't married, considering the length of the relationship and the children involved, can the judge order him to continue the house and car payments, in addition to child support?

3. Is the injunction hearing the best time to bring up my request for financial assistance, or should it be filed separately? We are running out of food and gas, and I am desperate for a little assistance.

4. What do you recommend I bring to the hearing? I have pictures of the incident he was arrested for, but what else? Should I get character statements from people? How do I go about getting criminal background reports from other states? This would show previous assault on a police officer.

I am a classic example of being young and ignorant, thinking I can heal the world with love alone...it backfired terribly and I have learned a valuable lesson! Thanks for your time and responses!

Respectfully,
*Jen*

[Proserpina]

Jen, please help us to help you - edit your post to a few paragraphs (we love that white space y'know), leaving out the emotion and just sticking to the facts, and then ask your questions.

Thanks!

[JenAlexis]

Thanks Dogmatique...I'll try to shorten it up a bit!! It's just so compicated...let me try this again

[JenAlexis]

I'm so sorry...no matter how I try to explain it, it's just going to be long. I removed unnecessary emotions and stuck with the facts...those of you brave enough to get through the whole thing and offer advice are truly angels! Thank You!!!
Respectfully,
**Jen*

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

First off, because you are NOT married, he does NOT have to support YOU. But, he does have an obligation to support the children.

Since you are in an unmarried situation, YOU are the only person who has custody at this time.

Since you've been in a domestic violence situation, find a women's shelter. They'll have resources that can be tapped into to help you.

hisbabygirl77 posted this yesterday for another poster:

1-800-799-safe is the number for Nation domestic violence hotline. You can call them and see if they have a safe house near your area. At the safe houses they have legal advocates and/or caseworkers who can help you with your legal needs. Also the safehouses normally are not well known and they have extra security measures to keep you safe. I would look into staying at one until you feel safe. Give the number a call and see what your options are. If nothing else you can speak to someone about your options.

HOW THE FLORIDA BAR LAWYER REFERRAL SERVICE WORKS FOR YOUIf you need a lawyer, call the Florida Bar Lawyer Referral Service at 1-800-342-8011. Thisis a free telephone call anywhere in Florida. The Florida Bar Lawyer Referral Service isopen Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m. until 5:30 p.m.Your call will be answered by a lawyer referral staff member who will take your name,address and telephone number. You will be asked to state your problem briefly. Anyinformation you give will be held in the strictest confidence.Lawyer Referral Service staff will give you the name, address and telephone number of anattorney in your geographic area who handles the type of case you describe.After the first meeting between you and the lawyer, it is up to you to decide whether toallow the lawyer to take action on your legal problem.THE COSTThe lawyer will charge you $25.00 for the first half-hour meeting. You will have up to one-half hour to discuss your problem with the lawyer. You and the lawyer are under noobligation to go beyond the first meeting. The fee for any additional service should bearranged between you and the attorney during your first meeting.The Florida Bar Lawyer Referral Service also operates a Low Fee Panel. You may ask fora lawyer who is on this panel. If you are financially eligible for this service, you will not becharged for the first half-hour meeting. The lawyer will then charge you a reduced fee forongoing representation. Fee generating cases such as personal injury or malpracticecases are not included in this reduced fee program and are handled at the attorney'sregular rate. Participating attorneys are encouraged to use a payment plan or anothermethod of assisting the client in paying legal fees.

http://www.lri.lsc.gov/pdf/02/020025_englishfly.pdf

Now, in the event that you go on TANF until you can get back on your feet, the STATE will definitely assist in establishing child support for you.