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Help for a molested child that is now an adult

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Azziesmama

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho
My half brother molested me as a child and I didn't tell anyone in my family, only friends, until I was an adult. Now his wife found out and they are threatening to sue ME! Is there anything that I can do?
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho
My half brother molested me as a child and I didn't tell anyone in my family, only friends, until I was an adult. Now his wife found out and they are threatening to sue ME! Is there anything that I can do?


Sue you for what?

Is there any proof of anything?
 

Azziesmama

Junior Member
Proof?

All I have is a few friends from the past that i might be able to track down that could testify, possibly. I have people in my life now that know about it and my memories of it. I wrote some poetry about it when I was little and I told my gynecologist that I was molested as a child but I was also molested my my uncle when I was 5 and that is what he is trying to use against me.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
All I have is a few friends from the past that i might be able to track down that could testify, possibly. I have people in my life now that know about it and my memories of it. I wrote some poetry about it when I was little and I told my gynecologist that I was molested as a child but I was also molested my my uncle when I was 5 and that is what he is trying to use against me.
Frankly, I would ignore him at this point. Lots of people threaten to sue, so there's no point losing sleep over something that will probably never happen.

if he does sue, get an attorney as quickly as possible.
 

HomeGuru

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Idaho
My half brother molested me as a child and I didn't tell anyone in my family, only friends, until I was an adult. Now his wife found out and they are threatening to sue ME! Is there anything that I can do?
**A: how long ago did you tell your friends and when did the wife find out?
 

Azziesmama

Junior Member
Friends?

I have told my friends throughout my life. One friend I still have a little contact with and he attempted it on her also. Other than that there have been close friends though out my life that I have told, most of which I am not in contact anymore. My husband and niece know and my mother and sister found out a few years back. His ex-wife knows, which is why he doesn't have custody of his first two children. His current wife found out as of yesterday which is when he threatened to sue me. I was informed today that he contacted a lawyer.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I have told my friends throughout my life. One friend I still have a little contact with and he attempted it on her also. Other than that there have been close friends though out my life that I have told, most of which I am not in contact anymore. My husband and niece know and my mother and sister found out a few years back. His ex-wife knows, which is why he doesn't have custody of his first two children. His current wife found out as of yesterday which is when he threatened to sue me. I was informed today that he contacted a lawyer.

Hate to be so blunt, but to recap, do I have this right?

You have accused someone of abusing you.

There is no evidence or proof of this abuse other than your testimony.

Is that correct?
 

Azziesmama

Junior Member
Kind of. I simply told my sister in law that my brother abused me. The evidence could be found through lie detector tests and testimony from me and people that knew about it when it was happening. I am not sure what other evidence would be needed. If a child was abused and it was reported a year later the same evidence would exist, would it not?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
Kind of. I simply told my sister in law that my brother abused me. The evidence could be found through lie detector tests and testimony from me and people that knew about it when it was happening. I am not sure what other evidence would be needed. If a child was abused and it was reported a year later the same evidence would exist, would it not?


I'm talking about evidence such as CPS reports, police investigations, convictions.

Anyone can lie, and the only thing the people you told can attest to is that you told them XYZ - they cannot attest that XYZ actually happened.

Many people can fool a lie detector test.

Without concrete evidence that you were actually abused by this person you may well have left yourself open to a defamation suit and quite honestly the guy you accused doesn't even have to prove damages in this instance; this would fall under defamation per se .
 

Azziesmama

Junior Member
So any child who does not immediately report their abuser can not bring any legal action against them? How exactly does telling someones wife constitute defamation of character? From the research I have done and what I learned from the law firm that I used to work for, the statement has to be proven to be false and the statement has to effect the person, their business, etc. in some sort of financial or other notable way. Telling his wife what happened would not fall under this. My Uncle's wife was abused as a child and her grandfather was found guilty over 30 years later and sentenced to 3 years in prison for what he did. She didn't tell anyone in her family and didn't tell anyone at all for several years. What "proof" was there in that case and what is the difference between the two?
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
So any child who does not immediately report their abuser can not bring any legal action against them? How exactly does telling someones wife constitute defamation of character? From the research I have done and what I learned from the law firm that I used to work for, the statement has to be proven to be false and the statement has to effect the person, their business, etc. in some sort of financial or other notable way. Telling his wife what happened would not fall under this. My Uncle's wife was abused as a child and her grandfather was found guilty over 30 years later and sentenced to 3 years in prison for what he did. She didn't tell anyone in her family and didn't tell anyone at all for several years. What "proof" was there in that case and what is the difference between the two?


The difference is that the person you're accusing has never been convicted of anything.

The grandfather you mention was obviously convicted, hence telling someone that he's a convicted whatever-it-is would be an absolutely truthful statement and a defense to any defamation action.

However the person you are accusing has no such conviction. From a legal standpoint you are simply spreading the accusation without having proof of any wrongdoing whatsoever. Once you get the guy convicted, sure, you can accuse him and tell his wife whatever it is you want to tell her - provided it's been proven in court.

You must see the difference, surely?

He also doesn't have to show damages since such an accusation would clearly fall under defamation per se.
 

mistoffolees

Senior Member
Kind of. I simply told my sister in law that my brother abused me. The evidence could be found through lie detector tests and testimony from me and people that knew about it when it was happening. I am not sure what other evidence would be needed. If a child was abused and it was reported a year later the same evidence would exist, would it not?
You're missing one important point. You stated earlier that "One friend I still have a little contact with and he attempted it on her also. "

So there IS some additional evidence.

So any child who does not immediately report their abuser can not bring any legal action against them? How exactly does telling someones wife constitute defamation of character?
In most states, there is a statute of limitations that limits how long after the incident you can still report it. Child abuse is very long - sometimes well into adulthood, so your first statement is wrong. You CAN bring legal action against them many years later, as long as it falls within the statute of limitations.

The question about defamation is trickier. Since you have at least one witness who says that he tried the same thing on her, you're going to have a defense here.

Defamation is defined here:
What Is Defamation?

Unless he's a public figure of some type or has a job which relies on his reputation, proving defamation is going to be difficult. In addition, truth is an absolute defense - and you have one other witness.

Equally important is the statute of limitations. In ID, there's a 2 year statute of limitations. That means that if he has known you said these things about him for over 2 years, he can't file. For that, you COULD use some of the other witnesses. As an example, if your mother heard you making those accusations against him over 2 years ago, then he would have had to file within 2 years of the time you made the accusations.

Personally, I wouldn't get too worked up unless you receive legal papers - and if you do, go see an attorney ASAP.

Meanwhile, stop talking about him. There's no reason to.
 

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