California: My husband made national headlines last November 11th on the San Francisco Bay Bridge for a few hours, our 16 year old daughter was with him. As soon as he was arrested the court issued a criminal protective order-other than domestic violence for our daughter (understandable) and myself. When our daughter swore she was never scared her dad would hurt her, they took her off but left me on! I had the opportunity to address the judge a few months later and when he emotionlessly denied removing it, I broke down hysterical! San Francisco Bay Area
Fist let me say how sorry I am. I am sure the national publicity added additional stress and embarrassment to an extremely personal situation. Given the national attention however, the judge’s actions are under more scrutiny than an average case. What if the judge were to lift the order and the situation repeated itself?
California:
My husband gets out one week from today and has his last court date this Monday. I was told I can ask the judge again but he most likely won't remove it until half the required non violence classes are attended! San Francisco Bay Area
Since the judge has indicated at what point in time he would consider removal, you might be better off waiting until that point. If your husband has any family or close friends, you could certainly coordinate a network of caring people to surround him upon his release. You might look and see if there is a family support group for individuals that have a mentally ill family member. Here is an option that might be able to connect you: NAMI San Francisco /
Does someone you love have a mental illness?
He has NEVER EVER been violent at all & they refuse to listen!
The police in the hostage situation indicated speaking with the man over the phone during the hostage situation. It is possible that you are not privy to every comment he made during the situation. Even if he made threats that in hindsight he now states were idle, his actions – shutting down a bridge and threatening others – indicate several precursors to serious violence beyond the mere “words” themselves. It also shows the courts that during a moment of crisis he acted with disregard for the lives of others. Everyone on the bridge had somewhere to go, but his thoughts in that dark moment were only of himself. The court might fear that faced with another significant crisis he might have a similar reaction, only with worse results. The court would understandably want to maximize the protection for anyone they feel could be at risk.
He has NEVER EVER been violent at all & they refuse to listen! This is my last hope of getting my family back together, I don't know what to do....please, please help me....
San Francisco Bay Area
Understand the courts are aware that some of the domestic violence cases that end in the death (or usually murder / suicide) arise from relationships where there had never been overt physical violence prior to the murder. There are many common threads in those cases generally, and one of them is prior threats of violence. The courts will see your situation as very serious, based on the past learning of domestic violence fatality review boards, even if you do not see your situation as serious.
I genuinely hope that you can find healing for your family. Do not despair. If your husband is committed to recognizing his problem and solving it himself, the odds of your family getting back together are much better than if you try to rush in to save your husband. If he is not committed to that effort, any efforts you make to force the issue are likely to be a band aid rather than a permanent solution. Please get some additional support and therapy if you are not doing so already.
Good luck.
