How do I prove a household unfit?

[jenniferbrown]

My sister lives in Indiana but I live in North Carolina. My sister has four children, ages ranging from 12 to 16. The household is unfit to say the least. Her husband is not only mentally abusive to her and the children, he also has a drug addiction. He puts the children down in his normal interaction with them. His actions are increasingly inappropriate when he attempts to take a disciplinary role. He makes vulgar, sexual statements to them to include comments about my sister. This has been going on for close to seven years now. Recently he and my sister got into a physical altercation over the fact that he had crack on him in their home. She filed for a protective order. Under the stress of her pending court date she finally pieced together a picture for me that my heart can't let go of. To start, her husband has a felony drug charge and has been keeping a hand gun in the house. 'It's not his', of course, he's just holding it for some guy that owes him money for the pain pills he is prescribed. One of the boys, that I know of, with him when he's making drug deals. He has taken that same boy to spend the night with him in a household known for drug use. He smokes crack in their garage. He has given marijuana to at least two of the children so they would lie to my sister about smoking and the drugs he's storing in the house. He has drained their bank account several times because he 'needed' to get high. Soon after the protective order was filed I went to Indiana and brought two of the four children back to North Carolina with me under both parents concent. Yesterday I found out that she didn't show up for her court date making the protective order nule and void. She has also allowed this pathetic excuse for a father figure to reenter her home with two of the children still there. Her maternal instinct obviously no longer touches the relm of protecting her children and I can not in good concious allow it to continue. I strongly feel that allowing these children to remain in that household will not be in their best interest. It is so far detached from what I feel any reasonable person would deem fit. Where do I begin?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

You will need to call CPS, and hope for the best. Your sister may not side with you here, and I see alot of excuses that she may use.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Example: "Oh no, my kids are just visiting their aunt". Catch my drift?

 

[jenniferbrown]

The children visiting for the summer was decided prior to the temp PO. She has no clue that I am considering fighting for her childrens rights. Would I contact the CPS in Indiana or in North Carolina? One of my main concerns is that as soon as she finds out that I am putting things in motion that she will shut me off from the children or attempt to file a kidnapping charge.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

The children visiting for the summer was decided prior to the temp PO. She has no clue that I am considering fighting for her childrens rights. Would I contact the CPS in Indiana or in North Carolina? One of my main concerns is that as soon as she finds out that I am putting things in motion that she will shut me off from the children or attempt to file a kidnapping charge.

The state the children reside in. Depending on the ages of the kids with you, you could call CPS in your state, but I have a feeling Mom will cover this all up, and CPS will find nothing.

Start looking for hard facts.

 

[jenniferbrown]

Got your drift now. Thanks. Though I'm sure it depends on the bench, how much weight will testimonies from myself, my mother and the children hold?

 

[Ohiogal]

Got your drift now. Thanks. Though I'm sure it depends on the bench, how much weight will testimonies from myself, my mother and the children hold?

Here is the thing -- you cannot prove a household unfit. Mom AND dad will be given EVERY chance to improve for their children's sake. Then after a year or two of CSB involvement their rights may be terminated if they can be proven legally unfit. You have no proof of the drug deals. You have no proof of the gun. You have no proof of any of this except hearsay. And while hearsay MAY be admissible how much credibility does your sister have? None? Or a lot?

 

[jenniferbrown]

If the children were to testify to the fact that their father had provided drugs to them, would that not be enough grounds to prove the household unsafe? The children have seen him hide, sale and do drugs in the house. Is their word not enough to get them out of the dangerous environment?

 

[jenniferbrown]

In reply to Ohiogal, I feel pretty comfortable in saying that my reputation would far exceed that of my sisters. Our mother holds the same fears as I do about the children's safety and is prepared to testify if necessary. Three of the four children would, without a doubt, testify that they do not want to be in the house with him and for the reason's I've talked about.

 

[Ohiogal]

In reply to Ohiogal, I feel pretty comfortable in saying that my reputation would far exceed that of my sisters. Our mother holds the same fears as I do about the children's safety and is prepared to testify if necessary. Three of the four children would, without a doubt, testify that they do not want to be in the house with him and for the reason's I've talked about.

But FEARS are NOT evidence. And a court does NOT want children dragged in to testify.

 

[Gum_Drop]

Even though it is a bit shady, you can have CPS not tell the parents who called them. If you fear that she would call for an immediate removal of the kids from your home.

But in order for CPS to take you seriously, you would need to divulge your relationship.

 

[Ohiogal]

Even though it is a bit shady, you can have CPS not tell the parents who called them. If you fear that she would call for an immediate removal of the kids from your home.

But in order for CPS to take you seriously, you would need to divulge your relationship.

CPS is NOT allowed to reveal who called them. that is not shady. That is the way it is SUPPOSED to work. A worker that did divulge would be in trouble.

 

[Idori]

CPS is NOT allowed to reveal who called them. that is not shady. That is the way it is SUPPOSED to work. A worker that did divulge would be in trouble.

I've heard that CPS workers sometimes give very broad 'hints' about who made the report. I think that depends a great deal on the individual CPS worker.

And isn't it required by law that the worker tell the person being investigated what the actual alligation that brought them there was?

What the alligation is could be a big tip off as to who made the call to CPS.

And the parents will eventually know that the aunt here is 'putting things in motion'. No matter what happens that is going to come out. And frankly I think it is very reasonable to assume that aunt will be kept away from the children after that. The process of taking kids from their mom is not going to be an easy or secret one. Nor should it be.

Be prepared for the mom at least to feel totally betrayed and do everything possible to fight back and keep the kids away from whoever trys to help.

Best Wishes.

 

[Ohiogal]

I've heard that CPS workers sometimes give very broad 'hints' about who made the report. I think that depends a great deal on the individual CPS worker.

Then such cps worker should be reported and fired for breaking the law.

And isn't it required by law that the worker tell the person being investigated what the actual alligation that brought them there was?

Yes.

What the alligation is could be a big tip off as to who made the call to CPS.

And the parents will eventually know that the aunt here is 'putting things in motion'. No matter what happens that is going to come out. And frankly I think it is very reasonable to assume that aunt will be kept away from the children after that. The process of taking kids from their mom is not going to be an easy or secret one. Nor should it be.

Be prepared for the mom at least to feel totally betrayed and do everything possible to fight back and keep the kids away from whoever trys to help.

Best Wishes

Yes parents have a right to know what the allegations are. That is definitely necessary.