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how to stop my husband's abuse to kid?

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frontgo

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

my husband has an affair. He has been asking for divorce. He stop coming back home since 2 years ago and didn't want to visit kid. We have a 8 years old autistic son. our son is faithful and stubborn. our son misses his very much. but his father told me and emailed me that he is more willing to visit kid after divorce. His father uses this as a weapon to threaten me for divorce.

The fact that he stops coming back home and refuses visiting our son has hurt our son deeply. Is this a child abuse? Is there any legal action I can take to stop his father’s misbehave?

I emailed him and asked him to provide a reasonable parenting plan before his action to file an petition for dissolution of marriage. So we can reach an uncontested divorce. Am i doing the right thing? how to protect my son from too much negative impact from the fact that his father refuse to see him?

Going through this journey of finding out my husband's infidelity is extremely hurtful. but in comparison to my autistic son's suffering, only if my pain can turn into to wisdom to tell my son what's going on and have my son to accept this un-wanted reality is most challenging task for me now.

My son and I live in abroad, out side of the US. and we haven't visited the US since i got married with my husband. He also has been living in overseas since we got married. My son hasn't been to the US because our son diagnosied with autism, ADHD and epilipsy since 2 years old.
This marriage is difficult to remain due to our life is so difficult here.
but, how to protect our son's right and mind are my top concern.

Please kindly provide your hlep to guide us for a more smooth life. Thanks
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

my husband has an affair. He has been asking for divorce. He stop coming back home since 2 years ago and didn't want to visit kid. We have a 8 years old autistic son. our son is faithful and stubborn. our son misses his very much. but his father told me and emailed me that he is more willing to visit kid after divorce. His father uses this as a weapon to threaten me for divorce.

The fact that he stops coming back home and refuses visiting our son has hurt our son deeply. Is this a child abuse? Is there any legal action I can take to stop his father’s misbehave?

I emailed him and asked him to provide a reasonable parenting plan before his action to file an petition for dissolution of marriage. So we can reach an uncontested divorce. Am i doing the right thing? how to protect my son from too much negative impact from the fact that his father refuse to see him?

Going through this journey of finding out my husband's infidelity is extremely hurtful. but in comparison to my autistic son's suffering, only if my pain can turn into to wisdom to tell my son what's going on and have my son to accept this un-wanted reality is most challenging task for me now.

My son and I live in abroad, out side of the US. and we haven't visited the US since i got married with my husband. He also has been living in overseas since we got married. My son hasn't been to the US because our son diagnosied with autism, ADHD and epilipsy since 2 years old.
This marriage is difficult to remain due to our life is so difficult here.
but, how to protect our son's right and mind are my top concern.

Please kindly provide your hlep to guide us for a more smooth life. Thanks


Sorry, but you would have to follow the laws according to where you now live.

US law wouldn't apply.
 

frontgo

Junior Member
overseas law enforecement

Uhhh..., but my husband wants to file a petition of dissolution of marriage in LA. could he get divorce ONLY? he wants a divorce. but he doesn't want to take any responsibility for kids and he said he doesn’t want to pay me any alimony. Could LA court grand his divorce ? although our son lives out side of the US, but my son has a US passport, although the passport is expired and needed to be renew... couldn't i do any thing in the LA to accuse my husband did abuse kid because he refused to visit kid before we settle the divorce?

I just can not agree that he stops seeing his kid and uses this as a weapon to deal with divorce.

i have confirmed with my country lawyer. it is very difficult to execute enforcement over a foreign citizen who also lives in abroad. My husband holds the US passport and works in China. Our son and I live in Japan. Our son has Japanese and the US passport. but our son has never been to the US since he was born. this is what our complicated trouble situation.

I have seen many case that some people committed big crime then escaped to the US. Although the country has sentenced legal result, but no means to 'arrest' those people to come back to our country for law enforcement and execution. this is unfair but this is what i feel depressed and worried.

any answer is greatly appreciated !
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Your husband refusing to visit the boy is unlikely to be viewed as abuse in the US.
 

frontgo

Junior Member
stop paying any money to support kid's liveing and education

i just received a email from my husband today. He said he is not going to pay any money to support kid's liveing and education, because i didn't agree with his divorce.

He filed to the LA court in January but he didn't provide me with proper document- lack of summons. and his friend left 4 pages of his filing documents with my kid's baby sitter in February. His friend didn't ask my friend to sing on any paper. The 4 pages documents are copies of his petition of dissolution of marriage, indicating that he didn’t want to have court to decide the alimony, nor child support. But he requested a joint custody. Our son lives with me, here in Japan.
Basically, i have no idea why my husband did that in a wrong process, plus, he indicated on the petition of dissolution of marriage our marriage is less than 5 years. but that was wrong. we got married about 9 years.
on the day of court hearing, my husband's lawyer filed a Request-Dismissal. I didn’t know why he dismiss it. Now the status is “Pending”.
My son and I still hope my husband can come back to this family. But it is very unlikely that my husband would want to rebuild this relationship. It is difficult for us if he stops supporting us both for living and for child special education.
What should I do? Please kindly advise me. thanks
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
i just received a email from my husband today. He said he is not going to pay any money to support kid's liveing and education, because i didn't agree with his divorce.

He filed to the LA court in January but he didn't provide me with proper document- lack of summons. and his friend left 4 pages of his filing documents with my kid's baby sitter in February. His friend didn't ask my friend to sing on any paper. The 4 pages documents are copies of his petition of dissolution of marriage, indicating that he didn’t want to have court to decide the alimony, nor child support. But he requested a joint custody. Our son lives with me, here in Japan.
Basically, i have no idea why my husband did that in a wrong process, plus, he indicated on the petition of dissolution of marriage our marriage is less than 5 years. but that was wrong. we got married about 9 years.
on the day of court hearing, my husband's lawyer filed a Request-Dismissal. I didn’t know why he dismiss it. Now the status is “Pending”.
My son and I still hope my husband can come back to this family. But it is very unlikely that my husband would want to rebuild this relationship. It is difficult for us if he stops supporting us both for living and for child special education.
What should I do? Please kindly advise me. thanks



Seriously, the US does not have jurisdiction over custody of your child.
 

frontgo

Junior Member
my son has a USA passport and Japanese Passport

my son has a USA passport, althought it is expired, but he still is the son of an American. my son hasn't visited any country out side of Japan. Couldn't the LA court consider it is very difficult for japan court to enforce the law over my husband who lives out side of Japan. could LA court grant me to get sufficient alimony to support my autistic son, even the LA court doesn't have jurrisdiction for my child cotody nor the child support?
This divorce is long journey. I really cann't do anything about the fact that my husband uses our son as a weapon?

Obviously, my husband dosen't want to take care of our son. this is the reality that i need to accept Any way i can protect my son and I at the LA court?

i am so sorry that my mood is in such a turbulance. Please help me to rebuild our life.
thanks
 

frontgo

Junior Member
it's not fair to grant my husband divorce, but no child support, no jurridistion over my son...

I realize that dealing with divorce is much more difficult than falling in love.
this is the lesson and the price to punnish my mistake for getting married and didn'd manage our relationship well. We call it " butterfly effect'.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
"Life isn't fair, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
my son has a USA passport, althought it is expired, but he still is the son of an American. my son hasn't visited any country out side of Japan. Couldn't the LA court consider it is very difficult for japan court to enforce the law over my husband who lives out side of Japan. could LA court grant me to get sufficient alimony to support my autistic son, even the LA court doesn't have jurrisdiction for my child cotody nor the child support?
This divorce is long journey. I really cann't do anything about the fact that my husband uses our son as a weapon?

Obviously, my husband dosen't want to take care of our son. this is the reality that i need to accept Any way i can protect my son and I at the LA court?

i am so sorry that my mood is in such a turbulance. Please help me to rebuild our life.
thanks


I'm sorry but...

The US still, no matter what, has NO jurisdiction - or control - over your divorce situation.
 

frontgo

Junior Member
yes. dad is american

yes. dad is American and has been working in Asia and china since 1996.
dad visits his mom in LA and attends the headquartered company meeting he works every year . he is a sales director in China.

i am Japanese. work and take care of our son in Japan.

i am not 'convinced that the LA court can award his divorce but no child custody...

Law is no use for building relationship but for solving the pains as love vanished. the problem is i need to go through this enormous pain to ease our pain in our marriage.

thanks for your kindness to reply my message
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
yes. dad is American and has been working in Asia and china since 1996.
dad visits his mom in LA and attends the headquartered company meeting he works every year . he is a sales director in China.

i am Japanese. work and take care of our son in Japan.

i am not 'convinced that the LA court can award his divorce but no child custody...

Law is no use for building relationship but for solving the pains as love vanished. the problem is i need to go through this enormous pain to ease our pain in our marriage.

thanks for your kindness to reply my message


Divorce is never easy on either the parents or the children.

Be strong. Be the best Mommy you can be.
 

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