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  1. #1
    momoffour is offline Junior Member
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    Exclamation husband accused of sexual abuse on stepdaughter

    What is the name of your state? Maryland

    (sorry this is long, but with paragraph breaks )

    My daughter of 17 recently confessed that her stepfather, my husband, was sexually abused him when she was 12.

    She has come forth with this information due to an email sent to her from him of pictures that she took of herself (stomach and legs - no sexual tendancies, just playing around with the camera by herself) She feels that he is using these pictures in some way and is uncomfortable about it.

    When I approached my husband about it, he at first denied ever seeing these pictures. I saw the email with the pictures on it. These emails have since been deleted (by him.)

    I finally approached him regarding the abuse last night. He swears to me that he has never and would never sexually assault her or any of his children (we have two, together as well as my 2 older children from previous marriage) and would never do anything that would ruin our lives and jeopardize his children's livelihood.

    I'm at a loss. I want to make the right decision on this. Part of me believes my husband that he would never do anything like this. He is constantly checking on my daughter and her internet use to be sure that she is safe and checks all of her messages that she posts on MySpace. However, with this new news, I don't know what to think.

    The next thing, he admitted last night that he has a pornography addiction. Every chance that he has, he watches adult porn on the internet. He has never done it so the kids can see him, but he now realizes that this is a sickness and he has asked me for help.

    I want to support my daughter and help her through this and I want to help my husband through his problem. I don't want to ruin my family's life. What should I do?


    Where do I turn to?

    I don't want to get child protective services involved, but I'm afraid that they will be.

    Help!
  2. #2
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    What is the name of your state? Maryland

    (sorry this is long, but with paragraph breaks )

    My daughter of 17 recently confessed that her stepfather, my husband, was sexually abused him when she was 12.

    She has come forth with this information due to an email sent to her from him of pictures that she took of herself (stomach and legs - no sexual tendancies, just playing around with the camera by herself) She feels that he is using these pictures in some way and is uncomfortable about it.

    When I approached my husband about it, he at first denied ever seeing these pictures. I saw the email with the pictures on it. These emails have since been deleted (by him.)

    I finally approached him regarding the abuse last night. He swears to me that he has never and would never sexually assault her or any of his children (we have two, together as well as my 2 older children from previous marriage) and would never do anything that would ruin our lives and jeopardize his children's livelihood.

    I'm at a loss. I want to make the right decision on this. Part of me believes my husband that he would never do anything like this. He is constantly checking on my daughter and her internet use to be sure that she is safe and checks all of her messages that she posts on MySpace. However, with this new news, I don't know what to think.

    The next thing, he admitted last night that he has a pornography addiction. Every chance that he has, he watches adult porn on the internet. He has never done it so the kids can see him, but he now realizes that this is a sickness and he has asked me for help.

    I want to support my daughter and help her through this and I want to help my husband through his problem. I don't want to ruin my family's life. What should I do?


    Where do I turn to?

    I don't want to get child protective services involved, but I'm afraid that they will be.

    Help!
    He has admitted to a porn addiction but denies molesting your daughter, why do you think he is so interested in monitoring her internet use? Even if the emails ar edeleted a forensic computer expert can retrieve them.

    Please, report this at once to the police so they can investigate it appropriately.

    Until this is investigated you must make a choice, your husband or your children. Call the police first and they will instruct you, don't call your husband and warn him. Prepare to live apart for some time.

    Please contact [url]http://www.missingkids.com/cybertip/[/url]
  3. #3
    Shay-Pari'e is offline Senior Member
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    Lady,

    You pack up those kids and get out of there TODAY! You call the cop's, and you get your daughter into therapy right away!
  4. #4
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    What is the name of your state? Maryland

    (sorry this is long, but with paragraph breaks )

    My daughter of 17 recently confessed that her stepfather, my husband, was sexually abused him when she was 12.

    She has come forth with this information due to an email sent to her from him of pictures that she took of herself (stomach and legs - no sexual tendancies, just playing around with the camera by herself) She feels that he is using these pictures in some way and is uncomfortable about it.
    When I approached my husband about it, he at first denied ever seeing these pictures. I saw the email with the pictures on it. These emails have since been deleted (by him.)
    I finally approached him regarding the abuse last night. He swears to me that he has never and would never sexually assault her or any of his children (we have two, together as well as my 2 older children from previous marriage) and would never do anything that would ruin our lives and jeopardize his children's livelihood.

    I'm at a loss. I want to make the right decision on this. Part of me believes my husband that he would never do anything like this. He is constantly checking on my daughter and her internet use to be sure that she is safe and checks all of her messages that she posts on MySpace. However, with this new news, I don't know what to think.

    The next thing, he admitted last night that he has a pornography addiction. Every chance that he has, he watches adult porn on the internet. He has never done it so the kids can see him, but he now realizes that this is a sickness and he has asked me for help.

    I want to support my daughter and help her through this and I want to help my husband through his problem. I don't want to ruin my family's life. What should I do?


    Where do I turn to?


    I don't want to get child protective services involved, but I'm afraid that they will be.

    Help!

    Your husband has admitted to a porn adiction...Why do you think he did that?? ..."No hon...I didn't molest your daughter but since were on the subject of sex...I have this thing with porn..."

    Don't you see that he is making an excuse for his actions? This situation has RED FLAG written all over it...and if you do not address this you stand to loose you daughter along with your other children WHEN this is reported to CPS!! You r daughter came to you...she told you something that must have frightened her to do...Can you imagine how she will feel if you fail to act upon this information??...Call the police...Call CPS....Call you daughters doctor and get a referral for a sexual abuse counselor....
  5. #5
    Zephyr is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by baystategirl
    Your husband has admitted to a porn adiction...Why do you think he did that?? ..."No hon...I didn't molest your daughter but since were on the subject of sex...I have this thing with porn..."

    Don't you see that he is making an excuse for his actions? This situation has RED FLAG written all over it...and if you do not address this you stand to loose you daughter along with your other children WHEN this is reported to CPS!! You r daughter came to you...she told you something that must have frightened her to do...Can you imagine how she will feel if you fail to act upon this information??...Call the police...Call CPS....Call you daughters doctor and get a referral for a sexual abuse counselor....

    I agree, this will also help you get to the bottom of whether it really happened, I am troubled by the fact that your daughter would email him provocative pictures of herself if he had abused her.....but it is not uncommon for abused children to develop "Lolita" like tendancies......
  6. #6
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephyr
    I agree, this will also help you get to the bottom of whether it really happened, I am troubled by the fact that your daughter would email him provocative pictures of herself if he had abused her.....but it is not uncommon for abused children to develop "Lolita" like tendancies......
    It's all a part of the "She seduced me" or ""it was just innocent whatever" defense.
  7. #7
    Zephyr is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx
    It's all a part of the "She seduced me" or ""it was just innocent whatever" defense.
    well you know how those little nymphettes are.....a grown man doesn't stand a chance
  8. #8
    AmarieNorton is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    He swears to me that he has never and would never sexually assault her or any of his children and would never do anything that would ruin our lives and jeopardize his children's livelihood.
    Of course he denies it.

    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    I'm at a loss. I want to make the right decision on this.
    Then involve the authorities. The right thing to do is protect your children at any cost.

    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    He is constantly checking on my daughter and her internet use to be sure that she is safe and checks all of her messages that she posts on MySpace. However, with this new news, I don't know what to think.
    At first glance this may seem ok but if she's accused him of sexual abuse this seems a little creepy to me. Sounds like he's obsessed w/ or like stalking her.

    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    The next thing, he admitted last night that he has a pornography addiction. Every chance that he has, he watches adult porn on the internet. He has never done it so the kids can see him, but he now realizes that this is a sickness and he has asked me for help.
    He's giving you crumbs.

    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    I want to support my daughter and help her through this and I want to help my husband through his problem.
    If his problem is porn addiction then perhaps you should help him and stand by him but if his problem is child molestation then you need to get yourself and your children away from him.

    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    I don't want to ruin my family's life.
    If he's a child molester then HE not you ruined your family's life. You can lessen the damage by acting now. If this is true how will your daughter feel knowing that you didn't believe her or act on what she said?

    Do the right thing by taking appropriate action. Your children are your first priority.
  9. #9
    AmarieNorton is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephyr
    well you know how those little nymphettes are.....a grown man doesn't stand a chance
    And the sad part is that some women want to keep their man soooooooooo badly that they will actually believe in some way that that child is responsible. "Look at how she dresses", "She was asking for it".....I saw a show long time ago where a girl told that her stepdad was raping her and she went to the police and instead of getting rid of her husband, the mom wouldn't let the daughter back into the house. The daughter then went to foster care. Another thing, when the girl was at the police station the mother came up there and said "you ruined my life - we could have dealt with this at home". How sad.
  10. #10
    Zephyr is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmarieNorton
    And the sad part is that some women want to keep their man soooooooooo badly that they will actually believe in some way that that child is responsible. "Look at how she dresses", "She was asking for it".....I saw a show long time ago where a girl told that her stepdad was raping her and she went to the police and instead of getting rid of her husband, the mom wouldn't let the daughter back into the house. The daughter then went to foster care. Another thing, when the girl was at the police station the mother came up there and said "you ruined my life - we could have dealt with this at home". How sad.

    YEP, one of my closests friends lived through exactly that, has now not seen or heard from her mother in 8 years....
  11. #11
    Ithildriel is offline Member
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    I agree with the other posters, your daughter needs to get into counseling and you need to take action in getting the allegations investigated. It is bad enough she will have to deal with the sexual abuse issues (or IF and that is a big if the allegations are false, whatever issues she has that caused her to make them), she does not need the added baggage of a mother that refused to believe her and protect her and her other siblings from future abuse.
  12. #12
    momoffour is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephyr
    I agree, this will also help you get to the bottom of whether it really happened, I am troubled by the fact that your daughter would email him provocative pictures of herself if he had abused her.....but it is not uncommon for abused children to develop "Lolita" like tendancies......
    My daughter didn't email them to him. She had them on her computer and he found them when searching for whatever and emailed them to himself on our other computer. She is totally innocent.
  13. #13
    momoffour is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zephyr
    well you know how those little nymphettes are.....a grown man doesn't stand a chance
    I'm sorry you are all getting the wrong idea of what happened!! My daughter is innocent... I thought this was a serious site. I don't appreciate some of the comments that I see.
  14. #14
    weenor is offline Senior Member
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    Wow so he denies doing anything to her, but downloads her pictures and emails them to her? If that doesn't spell guilty sicko, I don't know what does.
  15. #15
    Shay-Pari'e is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by momoffour
    My daughter didn't email them to him. She had them on her computer and he found them when searching for whatever and emailed them to himself on our other computer. She is totally innocent.
    Doesn't that tell you something then? He is a perv! Get your kids away from him, like TODAY!

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