husband arrested, help!

[k.ceren]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband was arrested for Domestic Violence charges on Monday 06/02/2014. the incident happened on 02/28/2014. I am not the one who called the police, they were called by a 3rd party and came to take a report after my husband had already left the premises. We were never notified of any warrant/court date or anything of the sort. The report has some things on it that I never said, they were spoken for me. For example, the report states "he hit her so hard he knocked her over" but i never said that, my mother-in-law, who was not in the room, insisted that, that is what happened but in reality he pushed me back off of him because i was practically on top of him trying to take his phone and i lost my balance and fell. He has no history of violence what so ever and is being charged with a misdemeanor. Why is he still being held? How long will he be held for? we are a low income/no income family and cannot afford an attorney, is there anything i can do that will help him?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband was arrested for Domestic Violence charges on Monday 06/02/2014. the incident happened on 02/28/2014. I am not the one who called the police, they were called by a 3rd party and came to take a report after my husband had already left the premises. We were never notified of any warrant/court date or anything of the sort. The report has some things on it that I never said, they were spoken for me. For example, the report states "he hit her so hard he knocked her over" but i never said that, my mother-in-law, who was not in the room, insisted that, that is what happened but in reality he pushed me back off of him because i was practically on top of him trying to take his phone and i lost my balance and fell. He has no history of violence what so ever and is being charged with a misdemeanor. Why is he still being held? How long will he be held for? we are a low income/no income family and cannot afford an attorney, is there anything i can do that will help him?

You should start here: http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-domesticviolence.htm

 

[CdwJava]

My husband was arrested for Domestic Violence charges on Monday 06/02/2014.

Specifically, what has he been charged with? PC 243(e) (misdemeanor domestic battery), or PC 273.5 (a wobbler, but usually a felony for domestic battery)? Are there any other charges, and if so, what are they?

I am not the one who called the police, they were called by a 3rd party and came to take a report after my husband had already left the premises.

Not uncommon.

We were never notified of any warrant/court date or anything of the sort.

There is not a requirement to do so.

The report has some things on it that I never said, they were spoken for me. For example, the report states "he hit her so hard he knocked her over" but i never said that, my mother-in-law, who was not in the room, insisted that, that is what happened but in reality he pushed me back off of him because i was practically on top of him trying to take his phone and i lost my balance and fell.

So, he pushed you and you fell.

He has no history of violence what so ever and is being charged with a misdemeanor. Why is he still being held? How long will he be held for?

When was he arrested? If he was arrested for PC 243(e), how long after the report was he arrested? Was he arrested on a warrant, or based upon probable cause? If he was arrested after the report and the officers had been continuously looking for him since the report for a couple of days, then probable cause may still apply. If arrested some days or weeks afterwards, then there was likely a warrant issued for his arrest in which case he could remain in custody until he makes bail or until a judge releases him. He should have been arraigned 48 hours after the arrest (not counting weekends and Holidays).

we are a low income/no income family and cannot afford an attorney, is there anything i can do that will help him?

If he is charged and he cannot afford legal counsel, then an attorney can be appointed for him.

Keep in m,ind that the DA might request, or the court might issue (on its own accord) a criminal protective order preventing contact with you if he is released. It might allow PEACEFUL contact, but it just as likely might prohibit ALL contact. If a CPO is issued, keep in mind that even if you contact him, ask him to come over, etc., HE can and SHALL go to jail if he is found out. Violation of a domestic violence restraining order is the only SHALL ARREST code section I am aware of in CA law. An officer who fails to make such an arrest when there is probable cause to do so is guilty of a misdemeanor criminal offense himself, so he will make the arrest.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband was arrested for Domestic Violence charges on Monday 06/02/2014. the incident happened on 02/28/2014. I am not the one who called the police, they were called by a 3rd party and came to take a report after my husband had already left the premises. We were never notified of any warrant/court date or anything of the sort. The report has some things on it that I never said, they were spoken for me. For example, the report states "he hit her so hard he knocked her over" but i never said that, my mother-in-law, who was not in the room, insisted that, that is what happened but in reality he pushed me back off of him because i was practically on top of him trying to take his phone and i lost my balance and fell. He has no history of violence what so ever and is being charged with a misdemeanor. Why is he still being held? How long will he be held for? we are a low income/no income family and cannot afford an attorney, is there anything i can do that will help him?

Kinda interesting that your MIL would give such a statement to the police regarding her son. Why would she do that if it was not true?

And if what YOU are stateing here IS the true facts...Than Hubby was acting in self defence and you were the person who should be charged.

 

[single317dad]

Kinda interesting that your MIL would give such a statement to the police regarding her son. Why would she do that if it was not true?

And if what YOU are stateing here IS the true facts...Than Hubby was acting in self defence and you were the person who should be charged.

I don't claim to know or understand California, but fighting back or even touching a woman in an effort to escape will get a man arrested and charged with DV here in Indiana. The law is and should be gender-neutral, but realistically police response is pretty well established.

INB4 misogyny flames.

 

[CdwJava]

I don't claim to know or understand California, but fighting back or even touching a woman in an effort to escape will get a man arrested and charged with DV here in Indiana. The law is and should be gender-neutral, but realistically police response is pretty well established.

Yep ... we arrest the primary aggressor. Which, quite often (most the time) is the male. Shocking, I know.

 

[TigerD]

Yep ... we arrest the primary aggressor. Which, quite often (most the time) is the male. Shocking, I know.

Bias confirmed.

DC

Added to head off the upcoming protests that the above statement of CdwJava's was remotely correct. It is flat wrong. Not partially wrong, not questionably or arguably incorrect - just a flat misstatement of reality. Of course, I'm not making that assertion -- the CDC and DOJ are. http://www.saveservices.org/2012/02/cdc-study-more-men-than-women-victims-of-partner-abuse/

Now that isn't merely an American surprise - England is waking up to the truth that domestic violence is as equal as humanity: http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence

Domestic violence against men is the largest under-reported crime in America. http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/men-the-overlooked-victims-of-domestic-violence/

"There has been little research on responses to male victims of intimate partner violence, in part because agencies refuse to fund such research. For example, the U.S. Department of Justice solicitation of proposals for Justice Responses to Intimate Partner Violence and Stalking (p. 8) stated “What will not be funded: 4. Proposals for research on intimate partner violence against, or stalking of, males of any age or females under the age of 12.” In the few studies done, many men report that hotline workers say they only help women, imply or state the men must be the instigators, ridicule them or refer them to batterers’ programs. Police often will fail to respond, ridicule the man or arrest him. (Cook 2009)(Douglas and Hines, 2011)"


The truth shall set you free...

 

[justalayman]

Yep ... we arrest the primary aggressor. Which, quite often (most the time) is the male. Shocking, I know.

That's not even close to what he said. He said a touch (not even a hit) when attempting to escape will get the guy charged with DV. . That not only not the primary aggressor. That is no aggression. The DV laws are a bit out of whack back this direction


heck, just heard this from a guy the other day.

he and his wife were arguing. She was becoming aggressive. He wanted to leave but she was doing a good job of stopping him, unless he wanted to get physical with her and yes, she was physical with him. He called the cops to ask if they would intervene. They said, flat out; nope, not coming.


another day another fight; he was putting holes in the wall. broke a table. never touched her. never threatened her. She called the cops. want to guess who went to jail?

 

[Pinkie39]

That's not even close to what he said. He said a touch (not even a hit) when attempting to escape will get the guy charged with DV. . That not only not the primary aggressor. That is no aggression. The DV laws are a bit out of whack back this direction


heck, just heard this from a guy the other day.

he and his wife were arguing. She was becoming aggressive. He wanted to leave but she was doing a good job of stopping him, unless he wanted to get physical with her and yes, she was physical with him. He called the cops to ask if they would intervene. They said, flat out; nope, not coming.


another day another fight; he was putting holes in the wall. broke a table. never touched her. never threatened her. She called the cops. want to guess who went to jail?

Based on personal experiences of various men I know, I can believe that.

I read Dear Abby every day, and she's had a number of letters lately from men who have said they are or were victims of domestic violence, but find or found it nearly impossible to get help. Domestic violence shelters generally aren't even equipped to help male victims.

And look at how the Milwaukee police turned a blind eye to one of Jeffrey Dahmer's victims, a young man who fled Dahmer's apartment nude and badly beaten, begging for help. Someone called the police, and the police just laughed it off, and let Dahmer take the guy back into his apartment, where he was murdered. I can't imagine they wouldn't have treated a young female in that situation differently.

 

[CdwJava]

Bias confirmed.

Shall we discuss the stats? You really want to go there?!

The issue of the primary aggressor does NOT mean that the female did not commit some form of violence, only that the PRIMARY aggressor - that is, the party most responsible for the conflict, usually the most responsible for inflicting harm - was the male. Sorry, but that tends to be the way it is and the numbers bear this out in spite of protestations to the contrary.

I can post anecdotal tales of all sorts of things including those instances that defy the "rule." Since it is clear that 100% of abusers are NOT males, nor are 100% of primary aggressors males, there are exceptions. So, of course you can find a story here and there.

Unfortunately for us guys, we DO tend to be more violent, we DO tend to be the ones who inflict the greatest injury and harm to our partners, and we Do tend to be the ones who get arrested the most. Why? More often than not, because we exacerbate or cause the conflict to begin with.

It's not ME you need to argue with, it's the overwhelming body of government and academic research that you have to contend with.

 

[justalayman]

I know from speaking to multiple couples that a man is likely to be the one arrested regardless of who is the agressor. I have seen where the man has been arrested where there was no contact by the man but contact by the woman and the woman lied. While a greater portion of the time I have no problem accepting the man is the aggressor but what has happened due to that is there is an automatic prejudice against the man which is so great that men are being arrested where he absolutely should not have been arrested.

It's a simple rule: if in doubt, grab the guy.

 

[anearthw]

Primary aggressor. It doesn't mean she didn't start it or didn't hit first. Primary aggressors are usually males.

Yes, some women do manipulate that as a threat and some succeed - it doesn't mean that women are more often the primary aggressors.

 

[stealth2]

If we're going anecdotal... My (not yet) ex assaulted me - threw me to the ground, stood over me with fist ****ed (Note - outweighed me by 100 lbs and was a 3rd degree black belt), in front of our kids.

I went to the police station (I had no phone - before cells were prevalent) and no neighbors would open theie door. They took my statement, then went to talk to him. I told them I did not want him arrested but due to our divorce case, did want it documented. Next thing I knew? Officer was at my door, telling me that (not yet) ex wanted me arrested and charged for assault. He was not going to do so, as long as I retracted my statement. What choice did I have? But it was the last day I ever told our kids that the Officer is their friend.

I did go to the ER immediately aftert that visit, and got a report of bruising and abrasions consistent with my account

It is not always women who lie.

 

[TigerD]

Shall we discuss the stats? You really want to go there?!

The issue of the primary aggressor does NOT mean that the female did not commit some form of violence, only that the PRIMARY aggressor - that is, the party most responsible for the conflict, usually the most responsible for inflicting harm - was the male. Sorry, but that tends to be the way it is and the numbers bear this out in spite of protestations to the contrary.

I can post anecdotal tales of all sorts of things including those instances that defy the "rule." Since it is clear that 100% of abusers are NOT males, nor are 100% of primary aggressors males, there are exceptions. So, of course you can find a story here and there.

Unfortunately for us guys, we DO tend to be more violent, we DO tend to be the ones who inflict the greatest injury and harm to our partners, and we Do tend to be the ones who get arrested the most. Why? More often than not, because we exacerbate or cause the conflict to begin with.

It's not ME you need to argue with, it's the overwhelming body of government and academic research that you have to contend with.

I'm not going to convince you. You want to be wrong. You have to be wrong to validate your decades of incorrect training. If you acknowledge that you are wrong, you also have to face the probability that you have unjustly arrested and participated in convicting many innocent people during your career. So I understand that you cannot change opinion without shattering your world view.

My posting is for the people that may pretend to have an open mind or actually be looking for the truth.

DC

 

[justalayman]

It is not always women who lie.

of course not but the woman is believed more often than the man. There is a prejudice, quite possibly justified, that is applied to most cases. Facts are ignored. Defense statements by the man are more often disbelieved than a woman's statements.

It's like the cops want to be the knight in shining armor and save the damsel is distress and damn the truth, they are going to do just that.

There is a serious problem in the system today. I see it as an overreaction to the not too distant past where a blind eye review of a report of DV was the norm. Yes, too many women were injured and those situations ignored, sometimes resulting in the death of the woman.

A lot of women have figured out how to use the system to their advantage. They use a threat of making a report to the police of DV to attempt to control their partner. It's a shame it has been as it is long enough that that could even happen.

There is a middle ground and hopefully some day the pendulum will swing back to it, and not swing passed (but it is a pendulum so stopping in the middle is unlikely).