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  1. #1
    bedink is offline Junior Member
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    Exclamation Just home from the hospital, abused by my ex (sensitive pictures)

    Hello, my name is Olivia, I am 21 years of age, and I just got home from the hospital because my now ex boyfriend hit me 3 times in the face. He got too close to my face while yelling at me, so I shoved him back. Boy, did he not like that. He ended up punching me in the face with his fists, I hit the sink on the way down, causing a long scab to form down from my forehead to under my chin on one side. I got back up, and he punched me two more times. All the while I was struggling. Overall, I have 10 injuries all over my body. The cops came, and I was in denial at first and didnt say anything, although they knew what had happened. After I came home, my parents found out and with their help I was able to press charges when I went to get a CT scan today. He ended up getting arrested at work. I feel better with such an amazing support group surrounding me, friends and family. I have never felt such intense pain as this man has been trained in MMA style fighting, keep in mind he is 6'0 170 and I am 5'4/120 pounds. As I hit the floor, he said "look at what you made me do to you". Right now, It's still processing and i have been crying off and on. but I know in my heart I was raised strong, and was born strong and although my soul may be shattered, it hasnt vanished. I refuse to be the percent that goes back to him. I have been verbally abused for so long now and was in denial for so long. This is me reaching out, im sure many of you understand. Please reply, please comment. I dont know what to do right now as I feel swallowed in this black hole of terror. Thank you

    [URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/808/img0642j.jpg/]http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/4513/img0642j.jpg[/URL]
    [URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/837/img0641p.jpg/]http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/4334/img0641p.jpg[/URL]
    [URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/714/img0776xj.jpg/]http://img714.imageshack.us/img714/6158/img0776xj.jpg[/URL]
  2. #2
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
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    Glad to hear he got arrested, and hopefully you get some counseling to help you deal with the situation as well.

    Though, I am curious as to the source of the abrasions I see ... on first glance, they do not appear consistent with a punch or falling against a sink. How were these inflicted?

    And, did you have a question here?
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  3. #3
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    I didn't review the pics. I do not feel they are necessary nor appropriate for a forum such as this.

    Besides that: congrats for realizing you were dating a jerk (Not quite what I feel have to keep it clean and civil here.) Since this is an advice forum, a question would be good . The intent is not to be a counseling service.


    anyway: do not feel guilty, ever. Make sure you follow through on the criminal prosecution.

    Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels
  4. #4
    st-kitts is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by bedink View Post
    Hello, my name is Olivia, I am 21 years of age, and I just got home from the hospital because my now ex boyfriend hit me 3 times in the face. . He ended up getting arrested at work. I feel better with such an amazing support group surrounding me, friends and family. IThis is me reaching out, im sure many of you understand. Please reply, please comment. I dont know what to do right now as I feel swallowed in this black hole of terror. Thank you
    I certainly understand you are looking for support.

    I don't see a legal question here, so I will offer only a bit of general advice. I strongly encourage you to reach out to the National Domestic Violence hotline and talk with one of their trained counselors or volunteers. They are available 24 hours a day. They can even refer you to a local outreach office where you can find additional support and also, a good education on what to expect as the criminal case unfolds.


    Good luck.
    Last edited by st-kitts; 04-01-2012 at 07:13 PM.
  5. #5
    davidmcbeth3 is offline Senior Member
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    I'm on a jury? Not guilty - you created contact first. Size does not matter...whoever touches first is the guilty party.
  6. #6
    justalayman is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by davidmcbeth3 View Post
    I'm on a jury? Not guilty - you created contact first. Size does not matter...whoever touches first is the guilty party.
    Not true at all. If the action was deemed defensive, it is completely excusable. Even if it was offensive, it does not justify the extreme response. OP would be guilt of DV but so would BF. BF would additionally be guilty of assault with intent to cause great bodily harm or whatever similar statute OP's state has.
  7. #7
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by davidmcbeth3 View Post
    I'm on a jury? Not guilty - you created contact first. Size does not matter...whoever touches first is the guilty party.
    She shoved him back ... he pounded on her ... not equitable at all, and certainly not self defense.

    Could she be charged with a battery offense? Sure. Should she? Given the relative injury, no.
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  8. #8
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CdwJava View Post
    Though, I am curious as to the source of the abrasions I see ... on first glance, they do not appear consistent with a punch or falling against a sink. How were these inflicted?
    I could see those coming from a counter top, actually. Especially if the fall was less of a slam into it, and more of a falling against it.

    OP - stay strong and hold your ground. The first time he hits you should be the last. Especially with his "look what you made me do" comment, he will do it again if you allow him to sweet talk you back. Walk away and find someone who doesn't need to hit people to prove his manhood.
  9. #9
    eerelations is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by davidmcbeth3 View Post
    I'm on a jury? Not guilty - you created contact first. Size does not matter...whoever touches first is the guilty party.
    Wow, what a case of brain shrink! I almost feel sorry for you! First you say gays have something wrong with them, they need to be cured, then you say that it's OK to repeatedly punch and kick a woman if she pushes away someone who's lunging threateningly at her...what's next?
  10. #10
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by eerelations View Post
    Wow, what a case of brain shrink! I almost feel sorry for you! First you say gays have something wrong with them, they need to be cured, then you say that it's OK to repeatedly punch and kick a woman if she pushes away someone who's lunging threateningly at her...what's next?
    Ignore dave, ee.
  11. #11
    eerelations is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    Ignore dave, ee.
    I've been trying, but boy he makes it a real challenge sometimes.
  12. #12
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by stealth2 View Post
    I could see those coming from a counter top, actually. Especially if the fall was less of a slam into it, and more of a falling against it.
    I've seen a great many injuries in 21 years and that looks like something else - not a slam or slide onto a counter top. I'd have to see the scene, but I'm having a hard time imagining how that might happen.

    There are other ways they could have occurred, though, so I'm not saying they're false, only that I am curious how the OP says they occurred because I have my reasons for thinking they are not from the counter top, sink, and certainly not from being punched.
    A Nor Cal Cop Sergeant

    "Make mine a double mocha ...
    And a croissant!"

    Seek justice,
    Love mercy,
    Walk humbly with your God

    -- Courageous, by Casting Crowns ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkM-gDcmJeM
  13. #13
    Ladyback1 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by davidmcbeth3 View Post
    I'm on a jury? Not guilty - you created contact first. Size does not matter...whoever touches first is the guilty party.
    Primary aggressor rules/laws....

    It's not about who created first contact, it was who was the aggressor. In this case a much larger and stronger person (who by report is trained in at least rudimentary martial arts), acted and approached OP in an aggressive manner--she reacted defensively. It would have been no different than her putting her hand up to his chest to keep him at bay.

    Don't you ever sit in judgment of somewhere you have not been!
  14. #14
    MichaCA is offline Senior Member
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    Contact Nat'l domestic violence center as st-kitts suggested. Being proactive how to keep safe will help with your fear. Please get counseling. You should be able to get counseling covered under the Victims' assistance program. They should be sending you a letter.

    Sometimes bruising takes two days to show. If bruises show, go to your doctor to get them documented. Also, I would take pictures of all injuries every three days and keep note of how long they last.
  15. #15
    Blue Meanie is offline Senior Member
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    Did anyone notice the little smile in the first pic?

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