learning2defend
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I have a friend who have endured more than 10 years of a terrible marriage with a man who abused and beat her in the past when she was in another country but since she is now in the US and a citizen, the beating turned into intimidation, humiliation, psychological and verbal abuse. Resulting to stress related illnesses, head and lower back pain due to past injuries and low self-esteem. She had no relatives to help her because they live far away back at their country.
This man is a perfect slob. He is unemployed and is not interested of working and he doesn't even speak English nor have the will to learn it. He is satisfied with the life of abusing her wife, eating his full and sleeping on the day while she work her butt off with two jobs to pay for the bills and pay for her two teenage boys' education and needs.
She is a passive woman and couldn't divorce her husband because she is already decided with this idea of loyalty due to deep cultural and religious beliefs even if how many times I explained that this is the best way for her and her kids' mental health. She also refused to get help from the police, a lawyer, a family therapist or some friends who could help her because she is fearful of her husband and embarrassed of the thought of her friends finding out about her problems.
I could only comfort her by letting her talk to me about it for I am the only one she can trust and not a member of her race and does not speak their language. I live far away from her house, we only occasionally see each other like once every two weeks but we are constantly talking by phone.
One day she called me. She is very upset because her husband have rearranged the furniture again around the house by putting them on the wrong places and he even removed the doors from the hinges and took away their beds leaving only the mattress on the floor. If she tries to move them back, he yells at her. I know he is doing this in order to insult her and feel some sort of sadistic satisfaction of seeing somebody suffer.
She said she wanted to die. I am not bothered because I know she wont kill herself. I am only worried about her kids because I know that they are also getting affected by this and it will certainly affect their lives when they get older.
So I have an idea which I hope will help her. Please tell me if what I am planning is LAWFUL and if I am SAFE from the consequences on what will happen if I convince her of following my advice since she doesn't want any outside professional help other than from me and God.
1.)I will tell her that she finds an apartment near her job and when she finds it, she will take the kids to live with her in this place and leave the husband on their home (the mortgage is already paid).
2.)She will still pay the bills and just order food to be delivered to feed her husband in their house.
3.)She will not talk to her husband and to any of his side of the family but her eldest son who is 13 years old to avoid her being intimidated and tricked to return without assurance.
4.)If the husband contacts her and tell her that he has repented and want them to come back to their home, she will not come back until he gets an appointment and clearance from a family therapist who speaks their language that will also ensure that he is safe and will not abuse his family anymore. She will also pay the doctor's bill.
5.)The apartment will be their temporary refuge from the husband's abuses until everything is settled or she finally develops the courage to take matters with her own hands for the sake of her kids' future well being.
Possible Consequences:
1.)The husband may call the police and lie that she kidnapped them. (Which I think can be disqualified by the 13 year old by telling the police the truth about his father.)
2.)The husband may commit suicide. ( Which I think he wont because a man like him is a coward. And if he does commit suicide, can I get sued or held accountable?)
3.)The husband may threaten to kill himself to force her to come back. (Which I guess will be thwarted by limiting all conversations to her eldest son.)
4.)The husband's grand parents or family will sue her. (Is this possible? Do they even have the right? Can they also sue me if they find out that I am the one who advised them this?)
I am planning to set up a meeting with her and her kids and I will separate the eldest from them and explain my plan to him since he will be the one who will protect and stand as the man of the house for them.
To all of you professional lawyers out there, please advise me if my idea is good, lawful and if I am safe from any legal consequences that might arise out of this.
Thank you.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
I have a friend who have endured more than 10 years of a terrible marriage with a man who abused and beat her in the past when she was in another country but since she is now in the US and a citizen, the beating turned into intimidation, humiliation, psychological and verbal abuse. Resulting to stress related illnesses, head and lower back pain due to past injuries and low self-esteem. She had no relatives to help her because they live far away back at their country.
This man is a perfect slob. He is unemployed and is not interested of working and he doesn't even speak English nor have the will to learn it. He is satisfied with the life of abusing her wife, eating his full and sleeping on the day while she work her butt off with two jobs to pay for the bills and pay for her two teenage boys' education and needs.
She is a passive woman and couldn't divorce her husband because she is already decided with this idea of loyalty due to deep cultural and religious beliefs even if how many times I explained that this is the best way for her and her kids' mental health. She also refused to get help from the police, a lawyer, a family therapist or some friends who could help her because she is fearful of her husband and embarrassed of the thought of her friends finding out about her problems.
I could only comfort her by letting her talk to me about it for I am the only one she can trust and not a member of her race and does not speak their language. I live far away from her house, we only occasionally see each other like once every two weeks but we are constantly talking by phone.
One day she called me. She is very upset because her husband have rearranged the furniture again around the house by putting them on the wrong places and he even removed the doors from the hinges and took away their beds leaving only the mattress on the floor. If she tries to move them back, he yells at her. I know he is doing this in order to insult her and feel some sort of sadistic satisfaction of seeing somebody suffer.
She said she wanted to die. I am not bothered because I know she wont kill herself. I am only worried about her kids because I know that they are also getting affected by this and it will certainly affect their lives when they get older.
So I have an idea which I hope will help her. Please tell me if what I am planning is LAWFUL and if I am SAFE from the consequences on what will happen if I convince her of following my advice since she doesn't want any outside professional help other than from me and God.
1.)I will tell her that she finds an apartment near her job and when she finds it, she will take the kids to live with her in this place and leave the husband on their home (the mortgage is already paid).
2.)She will still pay the bills and just order food to be delivered to feed her husband in their house.
3.)She will not talk to her husband and to any of his side of the family but her eldest son who is 13 years old to avoid her being intimidated and tricked to return without assurance.
4.)If the husband contacts her and tell her that he has repented and want them to come back to their home, she will not come back until he gets an appointment and clearance from a family therapist who speaks their language that will also ensure that he is safe and will not abuse his family anymore. She will also pay the doctor's bill.
5.)The apartment will be their temporary refuge from the husband's abuses until everything is settled or she finally develops the courage to take matters with her own hands for the sake of her kids' future well being.
Possible Consequences:
1.)The husband may call the police and lie that she kidnapped them. (Which I think can be disqualified by the 13 year old by telling the police the truth about his father.)
2.)The husband may commit suicide. ( Which I think he wont because a man like him is a coward. And if he does commit suicide, can I get sued or held accountable?)
3.)The husband may threaten to kill himself to force her to come back. (Which I guess will be thwarted by limiting all conversations to her eldest son.)
4.)The husband's grand parents or family will sue her. (Is this possible? Do they even have the right? Can they also sue me if they find out that I am the one who advised them this?)
I am planning to set up a meeting with her and her kids and I will separate the eldest from them and explain my plan to him since he will be the one who will protect and stand as the man of the house for them.
To all of you professional lawyers out there, please advise me if my idea is good, lawful and if I am safe from any legal consequences that might arise out of this.
Thank you.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
