What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Wisconsin
I am married to a man and we have a 3 month old daughter together, he also has a 15 yr. old son, I have a 17 yr. old son as well and we have a two bedroom home in Wisconsin. I want to get custody of my 2 younger boys from my ex-husband because he is an alcoholic but according to the laws regarding adequate living and sleeping arrangements I am not qualified or approved for that. I do not want to end up having my two younger boys end up in a foster home! They are 9 yrs. old and 6 yrs. old.
My husband and I were sitting at subway eating with the kids and he had a nephew that has passed away from ulcers and was showing me a pic of a bench that his sister bought by the lake in memory of him with a pic of his face cropped above the bench and the kids asked what he died from so we told them ulcers and my six year old said I DON'T WANT TO DIE FROM ULCERS MOM so I told him he won’t and they both asked how you get them and we told them many ways, eating bad, stress, drinking too much alcohol and that's when my 6 yr. old said MY DAD DRINKS A LOT OF ALCOHOL! My children are telling me that daddy drinks alcohol ALL the time! That he sits in the basement and doesn't ever want to play with them.: HE SAID THIS when my husband said we wanted to sign him up for basketball but we need to ask mom and dad first and he said dad never wants to do anything because he sits in the basement and drinks all the time, my husband asked if he ever told his dad it bothered him and he said yes but his dad got very angry and said he won’t tell him they anymore because he don't want to be grounded. I also have belief physical abuse is being taking place because continuous injuries and ER visits in short time frame. There have been numerous bruises, although very small on back area and in armpit of my 6 yr. old there was a pinch hicky looking mark I found after I seen one that looked like a pinch hicky marking on his back shoulder blade. It looked like someone maybe grabbed him really hard from the shoulder area and a child’s hand is too small to match up so it couldn’t have been a child (brother). When I asked him I said “Wow that’s some pretty nasty bruises buddy! What did you do? I was crouched down facing him while he was sitting on the couch and his older brother was standing up right behind me and when I asked him, he looked up past me and looked right to his brother with his eyes REAL big and said” it didn’t hurt” but then his older brother said well it was probably from him rolling in his sleep ya know, he rolls a lot when he is sleeping and then as he was trying to tell me about rolling he started to actually twirling around like the motions as he was explaining to me about the rolling but he seemed really nervous while he was telling me! These bruises were VERY deep so I can’t see how he wouldn’t have felt it in his sleep and the markings are on both legs and they match across but are not in bony area and they look like thumb and finger markings like an adults hand… Later I brought my youngest son alone in the bedroom with me and asked him what happened and he said it was from rolling in the bed. My friend came over after we got back from the park and it just so happened that my six yr. old fell off the slide and skinned his knees and she was saying ouch you skinned your knees and u got transformer bandages on huh? Did it hurt? He said yeh and she just showed him a place where she skinned her knee and how it will get better but it hurt at first too. Then she said I see you got bruises too and pointed to them and said but there not bleeding and they said yeh there from the park too but a different time.
I found some info online: How to Recognize Physical Abuse: Human Hand Marks (pressure bruises)
Oval grab marks (finger tips) THESE ARE THE MARKINGS ( on their backs and now yesterday on my 6 yr. olds legs looked like grab marks….finger print and thumb)
Trunk encirclement bruises THESE ARE THE MARKINGS ( on their backs and now yesterday on my 6 yr. olds legs)
Linear Marks (fingers) THESE ARE THE MARKINGS ( on their backs and now yesterday on my 6 yr. olds legs looked like thumb and finger print)
Hand print
Pinch marks THESE ARE THE MARKINGS ( On his shoulder blade and in his armpit!)
Nurse Maid elbow
Issue of developing bones in a child’s wrist
Normal Bruises in children
Facial scratches in babies from long fingernails
Knee and shin bruises
Forehead bruises
Bruises over bony prominences - (THE BRUISES ARE NOT WHERE IT IS BONY!)
Bruises that may be caused by physical abuse – typical sites
Buttocks an lower back (paddling)
Genitals and inner thighs
Cheek (slap marks)
Ear lobe (pinch marks)
Upper lip and frenulum (forced feeding)
Neck (choke marks)
Cupping
Petechial hemorrhages (raccoon eyes) They have raccoon eyes but I think it’s because they say they are up all the time?
My kids are being controlled by their father in some way whether by threats or whatever else it may be to make them tell lies to cover up their dad. Mostly my oldest though, seems like his dad tells him to speak for his little brother because he is ALWAYS cutting him off when it comes to anything to do with his dad. I spoke with CPS and they even said that they have to go by what the children say but that I should take him to court for custody! I contacted woman’s and children’s Horizon and spoke with a legal advocate and she is going to put $125 toward my retainer for a legal custody attorney to help my case. I now have an appointment with the lawyer and told them about these recent things listed below and they said because of the past that it is best to have the CPS worker that I spoke with that knows our case because my 17 yr. old son was on probation in the past so she is familiar with us, (to note that I have contacted woman’s and children’s Horizon and am working on getting custody back.)
THIS IS THE PAST BEFORE WE SEPARATED: I had a purchased a mobile home from a settlement I received that would have enough space for all of us before I was on disability: (I had a nervous breakdown because of his drinking and other medical disorders so I qualified for disability and he became the payee of my checks.) (A payee must use benefits in the best interests of the beneficiary, according to his/her best judgment.) The lot rent was only like $495 a month and I also had an electric bill in my name that is yet unpaid and I owe $1889.00 from when we both lived at the trailer. My husband was supposed to be making these bills and suddenly we received an eviction notice that we owed over $5000 in back lot fees and our electric got cut off. (Benefits should be used for current needs such as food, clothing, shelter, utilities, dental and medical care and personal comfort items, or reasonably foreseeable needs. If not needed for these purposes, the benefits must be conserved or invested on behalf of the beneficiary. Where the beneficiary has unmet current maintenance needs, saving benefits serves little purpose and would not be in the beneficiary's best interests.)
I had no space for them we were being evicted and his mother's home was where he was going to go and at the time she was in good health so I knew she would make sure they were safe. .) I stayed with friends for a while and began to seek counseling to better myself. Now his mom is getting older and overwhelmed but won’t tell me much because she is protecting her son of course but she did end up telling me how she has been falling asleep at the wheel and has made minor damages to her and my ex-husbands car recently, she is always the one to pick up my kids after a visit with me because I know it is because he is drunk!( I know this because when he calls to tell me she is picking them up, he is slurring his words and mumbling) I also found out that my 9 and 6 year old are being left alone with grandpa to watch them during the day sometimes because grandma is taking care of an older lady (She used to be a CNA) and dad is at work. Grandpa has been diagnosed with colon cancer years ago and it had spread to his bones years ago and he can barely walk now! The kids actually said they saved grandpas life the other day by getting him his oxygen tank because he could not breathe. I would get her to help me but she enables her son, she is protecting her son of course, and will not get involved! She told me already that she don’t want to get in the middle.
I also think his girlfriend is sexually abusing them because she showers with them but they won’t admit it when asked by anyone. They have just slipped up several times with saying things that now I know it is true. They admit that she spanks them too and she don't even live there with them nor is she even a step parent and as far as I am aware spanking is not a good method of punishment anyways. We do time outs! Way too much to explain here but I hope this gives you a better idea of what I am going through right now. I am also keeping a journal with dates, times, etc. of everything! But the problem is living space! Will they allow in an emergency situation, temporary living space here until we can get more space? We are kind of stuck for a couple of months but we can get more room soon…. They have been through so much! I don’t want to see them end up in foster care where someone else could hurt them!
