may sound odd-how do you get the courts to DROP a protective order??

[spork77]

how do you get the courts to DROP a protective order?if your the victim?

i went on a camping trip with my ex-fiance who overdosed on store bought advil, tylenol and alchohol. he became very irrational and aggressive when i called 911 for the paramedics. broke my winshield, cell phone, pushed me over a picnic table...

i recognize this as a domestic violence issue and he goes to jail in five days. he also has two years probation, and i am attending domestic violence classes.

I am very close to this person.. he has NEVER had a history of Domestic Violence, and we share a child who is only a year and a half years old. I want to communicate with him while he is in jail and afterwards, but the COURT ordered protective order does not expire until november. does it cost to end it early? how do i go about it? the court is 175 miles from my home! I am very frusterated.

SORRY FOR THE LONG MSG!

 

[Kristine30]

Also from Washington

Number one you shouldn't have any contact with this person even if you have a child in common. You need to abide by the potection order.

Does your protection order encompass your child as well?

If it does and you have contact with this person, and if this person yet once again gets irrational and the police get involved you also get your child put at risk, because you have now broke the law and they might call CPS on you for failure to protect you child as well as yourself, there fore they will take your child.

I'm sure that when the police were notified that you were instructed the get the protection order, therefore you were also court ordered to go to Domestic Violence support groups.

I don't know how long you have known this person, do you know everything about him? Needless to say that if he did this once he may do it again. There was a reason that he was irrational, and it was not your fault in anyway shape or form.

The courts will require that you petition them to remove the order,it is free at the family court faciltator but since that you just got this it is not likely that they will remove it.

Just a bit of advice, stay with the support group, see if he will go to DV treatment, protect you and your child. To overdose is a cry for help, but you can't be the one to help him he has to help himself. Been down this same road for the last 10 years I stayed as well and it just kept getting worse, stayed together for the sake of the children (his words) until my eldest son watched him beat the crap out of me.

 

[spork77]

i have known him for six years, and no.. there is no protective order for his daughter. i am supposed to arrange visitation thru his mother.

i appreciate your reply and i agree with most of what you said. its so hard because i want to do the right thing. For myself, for my daughter, and i still have a devotion to this person. and like i said before-no history.

I do see the cry for help- i dont want to take responsibility- just be a friend. and i deliberatly moved 250 miles away after the incident.

thank you much!

 

[civilavicate]

I understand what you are saying but...

I will strongly urge you..not to underestimate someone who as and will commit acts of violence against you..drunk or not its not excuse..I will explain..

Because I let down my gauard not once but many times..dropping restraining orders..excepting excuses etc,,etc..and tryed to maintain contact because of the children..I almost lost my life..

he said til death do us part..and not long after that he wrapped a wet towell around my neck and tryed to strangle me to death...he was drunk..always going on dry benges or AA..and telling me everything I wanted to hear...he was emotionaly unstable..The longer I endured and accepted his insaine behavior, the more abuse I would tolerate.. I developed PTSD..from repeated abuse..and trama...the children suffered too..Why drop the order, if he is complying and doing what is required,,he should not care. I urge you to realy think about this..I became so numb..and in denyal that a therphist once ask me..what do you want to accomplish in therphy..I said I want to be shocked by the sight of blood, preferbly my own..It has take alot of years to get on my feet..and begin healing form the choices I made.. let me know how it turns out.