My son's girlfriend is being abused by HER mom what can I do?

[Sandyjax]

Nashville.

My son has a darling girlfriend we adore her. BUT we are slowly discovering that her mom is BIPOLAR and abuses her physically and emotionally. Things like cutting off all her hair, putting a glass in her bed, bruises, she is "on her own" to fend for herself to eat. No food in the house usually, or her mom cooks it, but eats all of it with her new husband. Basically the daughter is an imposition with the new husband and dad. I am so terribly worried about her. But what can I do? Esp since my son is dating her.

I swear I just want to take her in with our family. We are just sick with worry and fear for what she is going through - even helpless! We just feed her and love her and spend as much time with her as possible.

We realize her mom is sick but this is abuse!!!

Also, when she turns 16 in Feb of next year does she have any rights??

Any advice is so very much appreciated!

 

[CJane]

Nashville.

My son has a darling girlfriend we adore her. BUT we are slowly discovering that her mom is BIPOLAR

Are you qualified to make a medical diagnosis?

Are you aware that being bipolar does not make someone abusive nor does it make them a bad parent?

and abuses her physically and emotionally. Things like cutting off all her hair, putting a glass in her bed, bruises, she is "on her own" to fend for herself to eat. No food in the house usually, or her mom cooks it, but eats all of it with her new husband. Basically the daughter is an imposition with the new husband and dad. I am so terribly worried about her. But what can I do? Esp since my son is dating her.

Call child protective services.

I swear I just want to take her in with our family.

That would be a VERY bad idea. Very bad.

We are just sick with worry and fear for what she is going through - even helpless! We just feed her and love her and spend as much time with her as possible.

Good.

We realize her mom is sick but this is abuse!!!

The one likely has nothing to do with the other. Also... expecting a 15 year old to largely fend for herself is not abuse.

Also, when she turns 16 in Feb of next year does she have any rights??

She has the right to go to school and do as she's told.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Call CPS and then but out. Your son and her are are having puppy love, and I understand that you care, but you are probably hearing one side.

Your son and her won't last, you should be mature enough to realize that.

Your option is calling CPS if you believe there is proof of neglect, but forget about bringing your sons girlfriend to live with you.

That opens up a whole other can of worms.

 

[Sandyjax]

WOW!! I am so disappointed in the replies - Let me see I got:

Who am I to judge? - Well Her mom herself says she is BiPolar as do her doctors, her mom's mom had it, as did her sister who killed herself! Rather defensive over Bipolar!

A 15 yr old should largely fend for herself - So it is called fending for herself no food in the house, no car to go get it, or better yet she walks to the nearest store several miles away to buy her own food with her own money? Or perhaps fending for herself means check your bed always looking for glass - GIVE ME A BREAK! Your replies are abrupt, inconsiderate, and of no help!!!

I Expected some legal answer not some ridiculous cold response as to go to school and do as she told! So apparently you feel that she should just stand still as her mom throws the kitchen knives at her or shaves her bald ???

OH and Bi Polar can cause you to do rash things - I have done the research perhaps you should as well!

Finally, I AM NOT just hearing ONE SIDE - my son has witnessed this (EVEN IF as you call it he is in Puppy LOVE)

Who are you to speak to me about maturinty?????


YOU TWO ARE DISGUSTING!!! I CAME HERE FOR LEGAL HELP, FOR ADVICE NOT SARCASIM, NOT DEFENSIVE STATEMENTS OVER BIPOLAR, NOT JUDGEMENTAL STATEMENTS, THINK BEFORE YOU TYPE - YOU TWO WERE VERY CARELESS, AND UNHELPFUL - I HOPE YOU TWO DON'T REPLY TO OTHERS WHO NEED HELP!!!

BTW, DON'T BOTHER REPLYING I DON'T NEED TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF EITHER OF YOU TWO!!

SHAME ON YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE HELPED!!

 

[Sandyjax]

Why reply with sarcasm, defense, judgement, & Of NO HELP AT ALL?????

WOW!! I am so disappointed in the replies - Let me see I got:

Who am I to judge? - Well Her mom herself says she is BiPolar as do her doctors, her mom's mom had it, as did her sister who killed herself! Rather defensive over Bipolar!

A 15 yr old should largely fend for herself - So it is called fending for herself no food in the house, no car to go get it, or better yet she walks to the nearest store several miles away to buy her own food with her own money? Or perhaps fending for herself means check your bed always looking for glass - GIVE ME A BREAK! Your replies are abrupt, inconsiderate, and of no help!!!

I Expected some legal answer not some ridiculous cold response as to go to school and do as she told! So apparently you feel that she should just stand still as her mom throws the kitchen knives at her or shaves her bald ???

OH and Bi Polar can cause you to do rash things - I have done the research perhaps you should as well!

Finally, I AM NOT just hearing ONE SIDE - my son has witnessed this (EVEN IF as you call it he is in Puppy LOVE)

Who are you to speak to me about maturity?????

Obviously CPS is a possibility - that was the best you could offer? This website is a joke now due to you two - I am so utterly disappointed!!!


YOU TWO ARE DISGUSTING!!! I CAME HERE FOR LEGAL HELP, FOR ADVICE NOT SARCASIM, NOT DEFENSIVE STATEMENTS OVER BIPOLAR, NOT JUDGEMENTAL STATEMENTS, THINK BEFORE YOU TYPE - YOU TWO WERE VERY CARELESS, AND UNHELPFUL - I HOPE YOU TWO DON'T REPLY TO OTHERS WHO NEED HELP!!!

BTW, DON'T BOTHER REPLYING I DON'T NEED TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF EITHER OF YOU TWO!!

SHAME ON YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE HELPED!!

 

[moburkes]

You want a legal answer?

Call Child Protective Services, then butt out.
If you'd like to bring the girl into your household, then expect to pay a lawyer to defend you against kidnapping charges.









You're rude.

 

[Just Blue]

WOW!! I am so disappointed in the replies - Let me see I got:

Who am I to judge? - Well Her mom herself says she is BiPolar as do her doctors, her mom's mom had it, as did her sister who killed herself! Rather defensive over Bipolar!

A 15 yr old should largely fend for herself - So it is called fending for herself no food in the house, no car to go get it, or better yet she walks to the nearest store several miles away to buy her own food with her own money? Or perhaps fending for herself means check your bed always looking for glass - GIVE ME A BREAK! Your replies are abrupt, inconsiderate, and of no help!!!

I Expected some legal answer not some ridiculous cold response as to go to school and do as she told! So apparently you feel that she should just stand still as her mom throws the kitchen knives at her or shaves her bald ???

OH and Bi Polar can cause you to do rash things - I have done the research perhaps you should as well!

Finally, I AM NOT just hearing ONE SIDE - my son has witnessed this (EVEN IF as you call it he is in Puppy LOVE)

Who are you to speak to me about maturinty?????


YOU TWO ARE DISGUSTING!!! I CAME HERE FOR LEGAL HELP, FOR ADVICE NOT SARCASIM, NOT DEFENSIVE STATEMENTS OVER BIPOLAR, NOT JUDGEMENTAL STATEMENTS, THINK BEFORE YOU TYPE - YOU TWO WERE VERY CARELESS, AND UNHELPFUL - I HOPE YOU TWO DON'T REPLY TO OTHERS WHO NEED HELP!!!

BTW, DON'T BOTHER REPLYING I DON'T NEED TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF EITHER OF YOU TWO!!

SHAME ON YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE HELPED!!

You were given help. You were told to call CPS (child protective services). If you require some other answer then you will need to seek legal council, because to do anything else will place yourself in legal jeopardy.

BTW: Shame on YOU for not reporting this abuse to the police or CPS!

 

[moburkes]

You were given help. You were told to call CPS (child protective services). If you require some other answer then you will need to seek legal council, because to do anything else will place yourself in legal jeopardy.

BTW: Shame on YOU for not reporting this abuse to the police or CPS!

Yep, agreed. She's so worried, but she hasn't involved the authorities.

 

[xylene]

Nashville.

My son has a darling girlfriend we adore her. BUT we are slowly discovering that her mom is BIPOLAR and abuses her physically and emotionally. Things like cutting off all her hair, putting a glass in her bed, bruises, she is "on her own" to fend for herself to eat. No food in the house usually, or her mom cooks it, but eats all of it with her new husband. Basically the daughter is an imposition with the new husband and dad. I am so terribly worried about her. But what can I do? Esp since my son is dating her.

I swear I just want to take her in with our family. We are just sick with worry and fear for what she is going through - even helpless! We just feed her and love her and spend as much time with her as possible.

We realize her mom is sick but this is abuse!!!

Also, when she turns 16 in Feb of next year does she have any rights??

Any advice is so very much appreciated!

Lets be real.

You need to and can do only do 2 things. You should do them both.

Report this situation (the abuse) to child protective services and all relevant authorities. School etc.

Butt out of this families deal. Forbid your son to see her. You cannot help, you can't take the girl in and try to do so could get you and your son into a WORLD of hurt.

 

[LdiJ]

The one likely has nothing to do with the other. Also... expecting a 15 year old to largely fend for herself is not abuse..

If there is no food in the house for her to prepare for herself, then it definitely could be neglect.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Call CPS and have the child talk to a school counselor. The school counselors are required by law to report it.

The best help you can give this girl is to not get yourself embroiled in a legal problem - think of your son.

 

[moburkes]

It could very well be that there is no food in the house that the 15 year old wants to eat. Hell, I have a cabinets full of food, a freezer full of food, a fridge full of food, and a pantry full of food - and I sometimes say that there is no food in the house.

AND, when did Nashville become a state?

 

[Sandyjax]

I needed help they decided to respond rudely!!

You want a legal answer?

Call Child Protective Services, then butt out.
If you'd like to bring the girl into your household, then expect to pay a lawyer to defend you against kidnapping charges.

What are you talking about kidnapping???

First off I will NOT BUTT OUT - that is NOT for you to suggest - and I am NOT RUDE!! I came here seeking advice from what I thought would be caring individuals that know legal standpoints. But what I got was rude sarcasim, judgemental statements, stating the obvious, told I was immature, and shame on me for not reporting it! And for your info this girl begged me not to since she has NO OTHER family to go to and did not want to be taken away!

Read again the responses I received and tell me who was being rude to who!!

 

[moburkes]

Either she is being abused or she isn't. Either you wanted to be charged with criminal activity or you don't. Either you're going to do the right thing, or you're not. And, if you don't plan to, then be quiet.

 

[Sandyjax]

It could very well be that there is no food in the house that the 15 year old wants to eat. Hell, I have a cabinets full of food, a freezer full of food, a fridge full of food, and a pantry full of food - and I sometimes say that there is no food in the house.

AND, when did Nashville become a state?

You know what "MOBURKES" you are a ridiculous - THE "TN" got erased when I backspaced! Grow up!

NO FOOD MEANS NO FOOD, NO DINNER NO BREAKFAST, NOTHING IN THE PANTRY NOTHING IN THE FRIDGE - SHE COMES TO US AFTER NOT EATING DINNER OR BREAKFAST!!

PERHPAS YOU NEED TO BUTT OUT!!!!!!!!! IF YOU HAVE NOTHING CONSTRUCTIVE TO SAY???