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  1. #1
    M1Shooter Guest

    Need Help! Served with false DV injunction (LONG Post)

    What is the name of your state? Florida
    I apologize in advance for the long post. If you survive to the end, you'll see the situation I'm in. If nothing else, it'll make a great Springer episode.
    I really need some specific advice. My ex-wife of 11 years has just had me served with a Temporary Injunction for protection against domestic violence on behalf of our son and I'm unsure of what to do. First a lot of background:
    My ex and I had an awful, yet thankfully short marriage that began in 12/1990 and ended in 3/1993. We had a very painful and drawn out divorce that took until 11/1994 to finalize. We have 1 child that was born in 1992, who will be 13 in Janurary. We have "shared parental responsibility" with my son having primary residence with her. I have never missed a visitation with my son and have not been in arrears with my child support in more than 8 years. I remarried in late 1995 and I have two children with my current wife.
    Like our marriage, our post divorce relationship sucked, yet wasn't awful until this early this year. I made a point to avoid my ex as much as possible. I also made sure that I did all I could to avoid making waves with her as I knew her to be a vindictive person who is very good at playing the victim. She and I disagree greatly on how my son should be raised. I am a strict Dad who favors discipline, self reliance, hard work, and good morals. She favors the "let them do as they please" philosophy. She also sees nothing wrong with milking the system for all it's worth. (welfare,ect.) So, needless to say, we don't see eye to eye. For the most part though, I've enforced my rules at my house and she enforces hers at her place without pushing her to enforce my rules at her place. Needless to say, my son resents "being treated like a baby" when he's at my place.
    My current wife and I began to have some marital problems beginning late last year after her Dad died. Beginning in March of this year, we separated for about 2 1/2 months. The night I left my home here, I called my ex to let her know that I may or may not be able to pick up my son the next day for my weekend as I was out of the house. In the course of the conversation, my ex offered me a place to stay and began to flirt and hit on me. I turned her offers down and politely got off the phone quickly with her. When I hung up with her, she immediately called my current wife (the two never got along before this) and began an attempt to befriend her. Over the course of the next few days and weeks, the two talked a lot about me, and my ex told my current wife many lies and BS about me, our sex life, and that I wanted to go back to her, ect, ect. She was doing her best to drive a wedge between us. It took a lot of me having to prove that my ex was lying in order to begin to work on things with my current wife. It infuriated my ex that my wife and I were going to stay together. So much so, that she came to my home and threatened my life and body. (I didn't call the law, but now know I shouold have.) She then began a scorched earth campaign of vengence against me. She started feeding tons of lies about me to my son. Saying I don't love him. Saying I cheated on her when we married. Telling him that they should change his name. Saying I'm throwing my family away by separating. Telling him I have a girlfriend, ect. ect. She also started threatening me with all types of legal actions such as having my parental rights terminated, taking away my custody, increasing my child support, calling me abusive, ect.
    My ex lost her job late last year claiming disability due to depression. In February, she attempted suicide and was hospitalized for 2 weeks. She still has yet to find a job and has lost her home to foreclosure. All this, despite the fact she receives 3 child support checks from 3 Daddys and a ton of $$ from your tax dollars. She now lives in a homeless shelter. She actually chose this due to how it increases her eligibility for more tax $$$.
    Still with me??? Good. On 7/23/04 she informs me that she has filed a motion to have my parental rights terminated. I accept her offer to settle our disputes in court. On the next visitation, I have a man to man talk with my son letting him know that his Mother and I may be going to court and that I love him very much. I tell him I want to be in his life. I ask him what he wants. He tells me that he doesn't want to visit me anymore. That broke my heart. I told him that I respected his feelings and that I wouldn't force him to visit the next time in 2 weeks due to the impeding action and that we'd see how that went before deciding anything else. 2 weeks go by with nothing received by me from my ex. I called my ex and explain to her and him that since I hadn't received any papers from her, I could assume that it was a bluff on her part and that I would be exercising my visitation rights on the next scheduled weekend. She informs me that she'll have papers for me the following Monday. What ever. Monday comes and goes. Tuesday, same thing. Wednesday at 5:45 pm, a Sheriff's deputy appears at my door. Now to the meat and potatoes:

    I open the door and the Deputy asks my name. I tell her and joke that my ex-wife must have sent her. She says, "oh so you know about this" I tell her "yeah, my ex said I was going to be served with some change of custody papers." She says "I don't anything about that. I'm here to serve you with a Domestice Violence Injunction" GULP!!! Sure enough, she says that I'm abusive to my son and my ex has had a no contact/ restraining order taken out on behalf of my son. I go to court on Aug 23 for a hearing to see if it should be made permanent.

    Continued in first reply as this post is too long to fit in a single post.
  2. #2
    M1Shooter Guest

    Continuation

    She signed under penalty of perjury:

    That the Deaprtment of Children and Families, Child protective services has investigated me for child abuse. (I have contacted them and they have assured me that they have record of any ongoing or prior investigations against me. Unfortunately, they will not give me anything I can take into court without being ordered to do so by a judge. I did document who I spoke to and when though.)

    I'm an alcoholic. (I drink 2-3 drinks per month) some drunk I am.

    I have mental health problems. (I was treated for depression when I was 15 and again at age 20) I'm now 32 and have no issues.

    I've been previously Baker acted. (that's a court proceeding to have someone commited in Florida) I have not ever been Baker acted and she knows it.

    That she's had a prior Injunction against me in 1993 when I was in the Army in Europe. (she never had one)

    She has stated that in 1993, I bit her and kicked her while she was on the ground. (False)

    That I have a history of Mental and Physical abusiveness. (I do not.)

    That in March of this year, I kicked my son and pushed him to the ground while doing a project at my house. I didn't even live at my house in March. I was separated from my wife and living at my Mom's place. She claims that my current wife witnessed this act of abuse. My wife denies her claims and says she will do so in court. Also, the project that we were doing when the alleged kicking incident took place, was a concrete project that we wrote our names and the date in while it was still wet. I have photos of it, and the date reads 11/08/03. Hmmm...5 months prior to when I allegedly kicked my son.

    She claims that I call my son names such as "fat" and "worthless". I have never called my son worthless, but admit to calling him "Fat boy". He calls me "Fat Daddy" in return as we are both overweight and its' always been a running joke between the two of us.

    She says that "due to the tension in both houses, my son is scared that I will take it out on him" and therefore I should be prevented from having contact with him. In other words, she's afraid that I'll take out my anger at her on my son. When my son is with me, I try to never even discuss matters to do with my ex in front of him. So much for that.

    Much of the allegations are so rediculous that it almost makes me laugh. Trouble is, I will have this follow me for the rest of my life as this injunction, although temporary, is a permanent record and easily accessed in person and on the web. Since I had firearms in my home, and I live in the City limits, (I'm a Federally Liscensed Collector) the Sheriff Deputy had to call for the local Police to assist in seizing all my guns. Within 5 minutes, I had 3 cop cars in my driveway with 2 cars roving up and down my street. All my neighbors came out to look at the cops loading up my guns. They think I'm some kind of terrorist. Hell, 2 of my neighbors called my parents to find out what happened. I'm mad and embarrassed as hell. To add insult to injury, I will lose my job if a judge issues a permanent Injunction against me, due to security and bonding restrictions with my job. She perjured herself at my expense!!!

    Since so many of her allegations are 11-12 years old, they are very hard to refute. My strategy is to attempt to prove I am a decent person and that her allegations about me are false. So far this is what I've done:

    I've gotten a copy of my Army service record. (201 file) It shows no disciplinary actions against me ever.

    I have a copy of my dd214 showing an honorable discharge and no reductions in rank or disciplinary actions.

    A copy orders dated 9/93 for my good conduct medal. It reads "for exemplary behavior, effeciency and fidelity in active federal service."

    A letter from my employer showing that I have gone through an extensive pre-employment background check, and that I have been thoroughly checked out by 12 differnt foreign government and 17 different state governments.

    A printout from my Army records showing that I maintained a top secret clearance while in.

    A person character reference letter from the President of my company.

    A pysch report from my employer's Dr. as well as one from an Army Dr.

    An arrest report from the local sheriff's department showing.. surprize no arrests.

    My wife will testify that I did not kick my son and that the date my ex says I abused my is false. She will further state that I am not abusive, nor am I violent.

    My questions are:
    Will the Judge allow me to enter all this stuff into evidence?
    Will it make a difference to the Judge if he does?
    What are the chances of getting the Judge to not only say that a Permanent Injuction is not warranted, but to order that the petition was base upon false testimony?
    Can I ask the Judge to recommend that the State Attorney investigate my ex for perjury?
    Can I sue my ex for slander or defamation?
    Can anyone point me in another direction to help prevent this temp order from becoming a permanent injuction?

    Again, I apologize for the long post. I feel most of it has been necessary in order give an accurate picture of my situation.
  3. #3
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    You do have a lawyer, right?
  4. #4
    M1Shooter Guest
    I can only afford to go in and talk with a lawyer. I can not afford to hire one to speak for me in court.
  5. #5
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    I *really* think you need to find a way to afford one. Beg or borrow the money. I would almost guarantee that she will have your kid either on the stand or in chambers with the judge - if he tells the judge that you have abused him and he's scared of you, you can hang it all up then and there. Sorry - but you NEED an attorney. Try calling legal aid and see if you qualify. Call your state's bar association and see if they still have anyone who has unfulfilled pro bono time.
    Last edited by stealth2; 08-15-2004 at 09:13 AM.
  6. #6
    M1Shooter Guest
    I'll see what I can do. I already know I don't qualify for legal aid, as I've already checked into it. I make to much $$ to qualify, yet I live paycheck to paycheck as it is. I realize her strategy is to have a court endorse me as a bad Dad and use this as a basis for further actions. She's told me as much. She wants to move out of state, yet she is prevented from removing my son with her due to the no move language I insisted by included. She tried filing paperwork to have his name changed, and it was bounced due to the fact that our divorce decree specifically says I have an equal say in all legal matters. This infuriates her. She actually thinks that she has total control of him, and it pisses her to no end that I'm her equal in the eyes of the law.

    I can think of no one to ask for money. I come from a poor family, and they are all hurting right now as well. I'd gladly sell everything possible in order to finance a defense, but all of the things I could readily turn into cash, were seized when she had me served. (my guns)

    I'm screwed aren't I??
  7. #7
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    Contact the cops and ask if you can sell the guns. What about car, house, other assets?

    You may not be screwed - depends on what she presents, but you may well be.
  8. #8
    M1Shooter Guest
    I asked about the guns. I may not sell them or do anything until AFTER the hearing to determine if the injucntion is made permanent. I still owe money on my car and wouldn't be able to do anything with it. The house is an option I'll explore on Monday. I'm also going to see about my 401k. I hate doing this!!!
  9. #9
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
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    I can understand that. But it looks like you may have little choice - sorry. I just cashed in part of my QDRO'd pension to pay some legal fees as well.
  10. #10
    M1Shooter Guest
    Can anyone chime in in reference to my questions? Thanks again.

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