new to all this dv

[notnoangel]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CaliforniaI had the police come out on a domestic violence I was not the one that called them they came out took my statement and gave me a protective order but has not served my ex boyfriend yet. What happenswhen the temporary restraining order expires and he has not been served? Is he going to be arrested on the allegations

 

[CdwJava]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CaliforniaI had the police come out on a domestic violence I was not the one that called them they came out took my statement and gave me a protective order but has not served my ex boyfriend yet. What happenswhen the temporary restraining order expires and he has not been served? Is he going to be arrested on the allegations

Whether he will be arrested or not depends on what he has been charged with. If the DA chooses to file charges and a warrant is issued for his arrest, then he will be arrested.

If the temporary order expires prior to service, then it goes away. However, if the offense is forwarded to the DA and the DA files charges, the court may impose a NEW order that prohibits or limits contact between the two of you. Have you sought out a TRO of your own, yet? The emergency order is only good for a week so you haven't much time.

The temporary order and the criminal charges are two different matters and one has nothing really to do with the other.

 

[notnoangel]

im new to all this

I do know I have not much time 2 Bella Trio right now my mind is trying to figure out what I should really do being the fact that I have kids involved and I know fat I wasn't innocent in all this eitherwe have been together for 6 years this is our first argument that has ever gotten this far usually walks away or he'll leave is all shocking to me and I've never seen him get this now I know people can change I don't believe that he'll ever go this far again but yet at the same time protect my kids and myself don't understand the protective order law and I don't know too much about the domestic violent part of the law I know that I didn't press charges at least I don't believe I did the cops never really did come out and asked me if I wanted to press charges on the paperwork for the protective order they wrote stuff down and I can't even read so I don't know what they put and it worries me because I don't want words put in my mouth that was not said

 

[CdwJava]

The state pursues charges here, you don't. They know that 3/4 of domestic violence victims will act to protect their abuser and even risk jail to do it, so the law does its best to minimize the need for your input.

Keep in mind that CPS WILL be cross reported on this and if you fail to take action to prevent your child from being exposed to violence you could risk losing your child. So, seek the TRO, tell the truth, and stay away from this guy. Yeah, people can change, but generally not until they have had a lot of counseling. His just saying sorry isn't enough.

 

[notnoangel]

im all new to this dv

You make a very good point. But how long does da have to pick up the charges.( statue of limitations ? )

 

[stealth2]

I can't even read so I don't know what they put and it worries me because I don't want words put in my mouth that was not said

Call the DV hotline for a referral to a local group - they will help you sort out your next steps via local contacts. http://www.thehotline.org/contact/ - the phone number is at the top right, and there is lots of good info there. Have the person typing for you help read it.

 

[notnoangel]

What is the status of limitations for the D A to pick up the case if they decide to?

 

[notnoangel]

What is the status of limitations for the D A to pick up the case if they decide to?

 

[stealth2]

Google "CA domestic violence statute of limitations".

Good luck.

 

[CdwJava]

What is the status of limitations for the D A to pick up the case if they decide to?

That depends on the specific details. In general, if it is a misdemeanor, the DA has one year to file. If it was a felony (such as in the case of corporal injury) then it is 3 years.

 

[qwaspolk69]

I do know I have not much time 2 Bella Trio right now my mind is trying to figure out what I should really do being the fact that I have kids involved and I know fat I wasn't innocent in all this eitherwe have been together for 6 years this is our first argument that has ever gotten this far usually walks away or he'll leave is all shocking to me and I've never seen him get this now I know people can change I don't believe that he'll ever go this far again but yet at the same time protect my kids and myself don't understand the protective order law and I don't know too much about the domestic violent part of the law I know that I didn't press charges at least I don't believe I did the cops never really did come out and asked me if I wanted to press charges on the paperwork for the protective order they wrote stuff down and I can't even read so I don't know what they put and it worries me because I don't want words put in my mouth that was not said

No people do not change. I hate to break it to you. I told myself that for the last four years. I never thought my ex husband would hit me. He never had before when I first met him. But he did - three times. The last time he almost killed me while our four month old was in the other room. But I still gave him another chance after that before I filed for divorce. He said he would quit drinking, go to rehab, get help for his drug addiction. He did after our divorce was final and his mom took him to rehab. He did rehab. He did halfway house. I gave him one more chance as he had seemed extremely serious about being sober. He relapsed when he got arrested for a crime from last year. People who abuse NEVER change. Ever.

You need to cut your losses for your sake and your kids' and walk away from him. Also - YOU do not get to press charges. The county attorney or DA gets to determine that. If they subpoena you, you have to testify or you go to jail.

They give you the emergency order so you are safe. If you want to get your own you have to go to the courthouse. They will help you with the paperwork. You will see a judge. The judge may or may not issue a temporary order and then set a date for the permanent. If you do not show up to court for the permanent, the temporary gets dropped. If you show up, you tell the judge why you need a permanent. Depending on the state is how long it is good for. Usually a year. You can put your kids on it too.

Also it is completely normal to blame yourself. I would think that too when he would do it. But it was not your fault. Unless you attacked him unprovoked and he was defending himself, then no it is not your fault he hit you or did whatever he did.

Go to the court. Ask to file a protection order. They will help you from there. Or don't. But the prosecutor can ask for an order for the duration of the case.

 

[qwaspolk69]

The state pursues charges here, you don't. They know that 3/4 of domestic violence victims will act to protect their abuser and even risk jail to do it, so the law does its best to minimize the need for your input.

Keep in mind that CPS WILL be cross reported on this and if you fail to take action to prevent your child from being exposed to violence you could risk losing your child. So, seek the TRO, tell the truth, and stay away from this guy. Yeah, people can change, but generally not until they have had a lot of counseling. His just saying sorry isn't enough.

Not everywhere. I called the police the final time my ex husband beat me. Never once did CPS contact me or come by. I even asked the judge to drop the order for the duration of the case and he did the day he got release from jail. I never went back to court for the permanent order. There was just a temporary one. So each state seems to be different when it comes to DV and CPS getting involved when there are kids.

 

[CdwJava]

Not everywhere. I called the police the final time my ex husband beat me. Never once did CPS contact me or come by.

In CA it is mandatory that a cross report be made to CPS if the couple have a child or a child is under the care of the couple - whether present or not. Whether CPS responds or opens an active investigation is something that is not mandated. But, the cross report IS.

In the counties where I have worked, CPS monitors DV cases and if the protected party allows the restrained party to return to the home in violation of an EPO, TRO or CPO, they will often act to seize the children though they may first inform the parent of the matter so they can correct it by booting the restrained party.

I even asked the judge to drop the order for the duration of the case and he did the day he got release from jail.

If he was acquitted or the DA chose not to file charges, the CPO MUST be withdrawn.

I never went back to court for the permanent order. There was just a temporary one. So each state seems to be different when it comes to DV and CPS getting involved when there are kids.

The OP is in CA. So am I. I also work with Victim-Witness and DV programs.

 

[stealth2]

Not everywhere. I called the police the final time my ex husband beat me. Never once did CPS contact me or come by. I even asked the judge to drop the order for the duration of the case and he did the day he got release from jail. I never went back to court for the permanent order. There was just a temporary one. So each state seems to be different when it comes to DV and CPS getting involved when there are kids.

qwaspolk - please keep your responses relevant to an OP's state, or leave it to those who are able to do so.