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  1. #1
    oregongrl is offline Junior Member
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    Question No Contact Order

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

    Is there a way to get a no contact order changed? My boyfriend of 8 yrs. is an alcoholic. We had an incident in July of 2009. He got charged with assult 4, they placed a no contact between us. I never pressed charges. He never even touched me, I had an anxiety attack and passed out. When I woke up the medics were around me and he was arrested and driving away in the police car. He did 10 days for assult 4. He was just recently arrested (criminal mistif, and a PV) he was drunk and not suppose to be drinking due to his probation. he has been calling me from jail, he had his court date to be sentanced yesterday. They gave him another PV for contacting me (by phone through jail) .

    He has to do 160 days. How do I get this no contact dropped?? We have the house for sale and we were planning on moving as soon as it sells. We live in a small town and there is no good programs here. We wanted to move so we can get therapy and get him help for his alcoholism. Now I have an offer on the house and major decisions need to be made, I need to talk to him. Please lead me in the right direction....This town is very small and the politics and the shistyness is horrible here. Please help.

    Thanking in advance...
  2. #2
    cyjeff is offline Senior Member
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    Your boyfriend would go to court and prove that he is no longer a danger.

    Doing that from jail for violating the order is not the way to start.
  3. #3
    Some Random Guy is offline Senior Member
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    Regardless of whether or not he did the original assault, he was convicted of it and needs to abide by the penalties. There is a no contact order in place. Apparently, you have been helping him to violate that no contact order for the last 5 months since you still consider him your boyfriend and since you have made plans to move in together. Do not expect HIM to be able to get the charges dropped until he gets out of jail and then gets his act together. You are not the one to get the no contact order dropped since it is based on HIS behavior.

    Now I have an offer on the house and major decisions need to be made, I need to talk to him.
    Since he cannot seem to stay sober and out of jail, its time you realized that you are the one who needs to make the major descisions in this relationship, including whether to stay in the relationship.

    What name(s) are on the title of the house? Does he live there? Do I even have to ask whether the person who has a no-contact order is living with you?

    If he is on the house title, you should really get some local legal help since the jail won't be releasing him to go the closing on the sale of his home.
  4. #4
    oregongrl is offline Junior Member
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    No Contact Order

    First off I thought this was legal advice not relationship advice?? Second we have been together for 8 years and of course he lives here. He is in jail because he obviously has a drinking problem, he is not in jail for the no contact. they put a no contact order for the last insident in July.
    After reading stories of women in horribly abusive relationships, seems ridiculous to put a no contact order for us because of one incident in 8 years and he didn't even touch me.

    I was just looking for advice on getting the no contact lifted.
  5. #5
    Artemis_ofthe_Hunt is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by oregongrl View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Oregon

    Is there a way to get a no contact order changed? My boyfriend of 8 yrs. is an alcoholic. We had an incident in July of 2009. He got charged with assult 4, they placed a no contact between us. I never pressed charges. He never even touched me, I had an anxiety attack and passed out. When I woke up the medics were around me and he was arrested and driving away in the police car. He did 10 days for assult 4. He was just recently arrested (criminal mistif, and a PV) he was drunk and not suppose to be drinking due to his probation. he has been calling me from jail, he had his court date to be sentanced yesterday. They gave him another PV for contacting me (by phone through jail) .
    He has to do 160 days. How do I get this no contact dropped?? We have the house for sale and we were planning on moving as soon as it sells. We live in a small town and there is no good programs here. We wanted to move so we can get therapy and get him help for his alcoholism. Now I have an offer on the house and major decisions need to be made, I need to talk to him. Please lead me in the right direction....This town is very small and the politics and the shistyness is horrible here. Please help.

    Thanking in advance...
    Quote Originally Posted by oregongrl View Post
    First off I thought this was legal advice not relationship advice?? Second we have been together for 8 years and of course he lives here. He is in jail because he obviously has a drinking problem, he is not in jail for the no contact. they put a no contact order for the last insident in July.
    After reading stories of women in horribly abusive relationships, seems ridiculous to put a no contact order for us because of one incident in 8 years and he didn't even touch me.

    I was just looking for advice on getting the no contact lifted.
    YOU can't get the no contact order lifted, as you were not the one to file the charges. YOU are not a party to the proceedings. They may have been filed due to an incident which you were apparently involved in, however, unless your name is on the no contact order as the petitioner, you have no recourse.

    In this case, he is back in jail due to a PROBATION VIOLATION and CRIMINAL MISCHIEF. The no contact order is completely seperate.

    YOU have no recourse other than to abide by the court order yourself so that you don't get HIM into more trouble for contacting you.
  6. #6
    Artemis_ofthe_Hunt is offline Senior Member
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    For clarification: from the DA's office in Portland

    Prosecution

    What are the procedures for misdemeanors and felony cases?
    A Deputy District Attorney screens police reports that concern misdemeanor crimes and decides whether there is sufficient evidence to prosecute a case. Once issued, a trial date is assigned and the case proceeds through the prosecution process.

    In some cases, defendants may be eligible for deferred sentencing programs. These programs allow a defendant to plead guilty to some or all of the charges and be immediately sentenced to probation with appropriate conditions that address the problem area.

    .

    Can I drop charges?
    Only the State of Oregon can drop charges in a criminal proceeding.


    I am the victim, why can't I drop charges?
    As the victim of a crime your participation and cooperation are a valued part of the prosecution process. However, the State of Oregon has a responsibility to hold offenders accountable for their actions when they break the law. This responsibility insures that the law is enforced consistently and that the community need for justice is met.



    Just FYI [url=http://www.co.multnomah.or.us/da/va/faq.php]Multnomah County District Attorney's Office[/url]

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