NO WAY our situation is classic case.

[nekto]

What is the name of your state?

WA

My husband was arrested for 4th degree domestic violence on June 27 and we have no-contact order. I want no-contact order and this case against my husband to be dropped since I am AGAINST this decison.

We had a second pretrial conference re request to drop no-contact order, but judge said “this is a classic case” and refused our request. He didn’t listen to me that I was NOT calling police, that I was the main agressor, that I do not agree with police record. I told prosecutor that I am against this order in the very first moment and was telling them again and again, but he didn’t care a word what I say. He told that the main problem why we want no-contact order to be dropped is my husband’s health, but this is not true!

NO WAY our situation is classic case.

My husband is VERY sick man. His heart is functional for 20% ONLY. He recently had 5 bypasses surgery and his condition is STILL critical.

Our family is NOT a violent type of family and I am NOT that type of person who needs to be protected:

- I do NOT feel in danger with my husband and have NEVER been. He is not even able to bit women.
- I am NOT afraid of him. I will never ever put my life in a risk situation with a dangerous person.
- My husband is NOT a violent man. He is a successful busines's owner for many years, a good citizen, does not have any criminal history .

What can I do to help my husband?

Are any organisations who can help in cases like mine (I do not need protection as abused women, I am NOT abused women) ?

I am not going to cooperate with police since they put my sick husband in jail for two days without necessary medication (he felt way too bad because of that), because they lie in record, because they push me to write a paper at the day of incident.

I am not going to cooperate with hypocritical prosecutor, who promised to help one the first day, but was very agressive agains us on front of judge. What right do I have agains him? How can I make HIM trouble for being so careless?

I see very clear hypocriticy of supposed to be my advocate (I don't have a lawyer - my husband has) who pretend to be helpful, but nobody REAL cares.

My husband is not planning to go anger management classes and ready for jury trial.
On top of expenses for his attorney, those classes costs ALOT.

What happen if I don’t come to jury trial? Should I be there?
where is more chances this case will be dropped - when I come to jury trial and explain again everything or just to write a letter to judge? Or just never come and don't write anything?

Unfortunately, at the day of second pretrial conference was not agressive enough, maybe judge just didn’t believe me and decided that I am lying as “classic case”.

What ELSE can I do? I wrote letter to judge - didn't work. Should I speak AGAIN to prosecutor? How can I make him to stop push our family? complain about him? to whom?

Sorry, after everything they put our respectful family on same level with some narrow-minded criminals, put my husband in risk, i just hate them and honestly - I would LOVE to make troubles to THEM. They just play games with us. They choose WRONG people, but HOW we can protect us? What else can we do to make this case to be dropped???

thank you all

[otherscreename]

Who called the police?

[LdiJ]

And what exactly happened to cause the police to be called?

[Blue Meanie]

Read OP's postings:

http://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=1525513

[nekto]

Originally Posted by baystategirl

Read OP's postings:

[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=1525513[/url]

sorry, it didn't work

My husband called to police. We had a big argument, he yelled at me and I hate when people yell at me. I grab his shirt to stop him, he was scared that it can be danderous for him - he still had stiches on his chest.
I was begging police do not arrest him, but they said this is the law. they decided that he was the main agressor, but when I reviewed the police record, i found out is was not accurate. they lie re some details make him look worse.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by nekto

sorry, it didn't work

My husband called to police. We had a big argument, he yelled at me and I hate when people yell at me. I grab his shirt to stop him, he was scared that it can be danderous for him - he still had stiches on his chest.
I was begging police do not arrest him, but they said this is the law. they decided that he was the main agressor, but when I reviewed the police record, i found out is was not accurate. they lie re some details make him look worse.

You need to be truthful with this forum. In a previous thread you wrote that you were being abused...Yet in this one you are adamant that YOU ARE NOT ABUSED. It seems like you are the one playing games.

[url]http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=365395[/url]

nekto
Junior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 12

how can I get a police record without an attorney?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the name of your state?

WA

1. I want to approve that my husband has a violent history with his ex. I was calling to police (state CA) trying to order a copy of his arrest, but they told me that my lawyer should do it.

Right now I would like to do it MYSELF. I don't have money for lawyer, I don't want to hire a lawyer YET since I am not sure what I should do in my situation. Are any ways to get that report?

2. Another question. In 2003 I called to police because of physical abuse, but it was confidential, not from a home. At that time I didn't give any info although an officer strongly recommended me to let to arrest my husband. Anyway, he gave me his police card, but I lost it. I know the date when it happened, but don't remember the name of officer. That's all.

How can I receive that report? Actually, it was not a report, I didn't write or sign anything, we just spoke. Can I approve that at that day I called to 911 and spoke to officer? How ?

Any advices will be appreciated.

Thank you

[nekto]

Oh, I understand now what you mean.

First of all, I am NOT playing the games. I really-really want to help my husband. And I really-really wrote the TRUTH that I am NOT in danger.

All my first posts I wrote just after that incident happen, I was way too frustrated, I had no idea what's going on, I considered everything, includind divorce.
Now I don't have any questions and prefer my old post to be deleted since I've figured out some questions about legal marriage were even stupid. Now everything is clear to me.

Secondly, I figured out that he DIDN"T have domectic case with his ex wife.
Re incident in 2003. yes, I did call to police, but he never bit me.

However my point is...I still very strong about my feeling that i wrote in previous post. i know my husband, and if he was a dangerous person, I would never ever stay with him. he is not an angel, either, he has problems with raising his voice/yelling, but NEVER bit me. he is not that type of guy, just NOT !!! believe me, i DO know violent guys....

last situation was similar. i promised to do something/never did, he started to yell, after that we have a big argument. i don't want to write all detail. it is just not nessessary.
main idea - i was the main agressor, i push his bottons. why do you think he would call police? i saw fear in his eye, and this the truth. I feel guilty now...

my main question - what else can i do?

i do know, that many women try to save their husband even when they have being abused, so why nobody believe me. they think i am one from them. they think that if they drop this case now, next time this situation will happen again, i will be in hospital or even dead. I DO KNOW that. HOW can I prove that my family is no the same. HOW???

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by nekto

Oh, I understand now what you mean.

First of all, I am NOT playing the games. I really-really want to help my husband. And I really-really wrote the TRUTH that I am NOT in danger.

All my first posts I wrote just after that incident happen, I was way too frustrated, I had no idea what's going on, I considered everything, includind divorce.
Now I don't have any questions and prefer my old post to be deleted since I've figured out some questions about legal marriage were even stupid. Now everything is clear to me.

Secondly, I figured out that he DIDN"T have domectic case with his ex wife.
Re incident in 2003. yes, I did call to police, but he never bit me.

However my point is...I still very strong about my feeling that i wrote in previous post. i know my husband, and if he was a dangerous person, I would never ever stay with him. he is not an angel, either, he has problems with raising his voice/yelling, but NEVER bit me. he is not that type of guy, just NOT !!! believe me, i DO know violent guys....

last situation was similar. i promised to do something/never did, he started to yell, after that we have a big argument. i don't want to write all detail. it is just not nessessary.
main idea - i was the main agressor, i push his bottons. why do you think he would call police? i saw fear in his eye, and this the truth. I feel guilty now...

my main question - what else can i do?

i do know, that many women try to save their husband even when they have being abused, so why nobody believe me. they think i am one from them. they think that if they drop this case now, next time this situation will happen again, i will be in hospital or even dead. I DO KNOW that. HOW can I prove that my family is no the same. HOW???

By testifying. You can tell the jury what happened. Just expect the DA's office to file a charge of filing a false police report against you!

[nekto]

what do you mean?

can I do the same??? They lie in report that I told something to them and I never did.

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by nekto

what do you mean?

can I do the same??? They lie in report that I told something to them and I never did.

What EXACTLY did you write in your complaint the day of the incident? EXACTLY!

because they lie in record, because they push me to write a paper at the day of incident.

[nekto]

shortly: I wrote that he kicked me first, then I grab him, then he grab me, i slaped him - he called police

they wrote that he kicked me with pain (no way), and similar detail, that not true, but make this case worst against him.

they made this report as he was the main agressor, and this is the biggest mistake.
i was planning to write to judge all details why I do not agree with report, however, my husband lawyer didn't recommend me to do that. i just wrote that i am not with danger with him, and similar. plus, i mentioned that he is critical heart patient and this is not safe for him. NOBODY CARES.
Unbelievable! I have a shock now how careless all those people. they just to save their...I was almost yelling at the end in court because NOBODY cares if my husband will die tomorrow. I just hate them.
tHEY SHOULD HELP REAL ABUSED WOMEN, AND DON'T MAKE MORE TROUBLE TO US

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by nekto

shortly: I wrote that he kicked me first, then I grab him, then he grab me, i slaped him - he called police

they wrote that he kicked me with pain (no way), and similar detail, that not true, but make this case worst against him.

they made this report as he was the main agressor, and this is the biggest mistake.
i was planning to write to judge all details why I do not agree with report, however, my husband lawyer didn't recommend me to do that. i just wrote that i am not with danger with him, and similar. plus, i mentioned that he is critical heart pation and this is not safe for him. NOBODY CARES.
Unvelievable! I have a shock now how careless all those people. I was almost yelling in the end in court because NOVODY cares if my husband will die tomorrow. I just hate them.
tHEY SHOULD HELP REAL ABUSED WOMEN, AND DON'T MAKE MORE TROUBLE TO US

So did he really kick you first or did he just yell and you were pissed and told the police that he kicked you?

[nekto]

Originally Posted by baystategirl

So did he really kick you first or did he just yell and you were pissed and told the police that he kicked you?

he kicked me after i grab him

[Blue Meanie]

Originally Posted by nekto

he kicked me after i grab him

So you lied on the report, got your critically ill husband arrested, and have the flipping audacity to blame the police and the court system for this mess?
The only person that is at fault in this situation is YOU!

Lady, I hope to GOD they nail you for this!

[nekto]

Listen, i am not here for your blame, I am here for advice. I do know WITHOUT YOU that this is my fault, so please leave your comments with you if you are not able to give a LEGAL advice. thanks