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oral threat//fear loss job, jail now- Virginia

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BENSEB1

Member
My ex-boyfriend :mad:, who I continued to have varying levels of contact with and who works with me, said he was trying not to kill himself Saturday, because of me and "our relationship."

I had told him a while back that we are not girlfriend-boyfriend despite seeing each other sometimes, but he always says I am his girlfriend. I had limited contact but he always has called me and wanted to talk.

First on him,
Basically,
in the past, he dragged me up the stairs to his apartment and would not let me leave and raged until, sometimes in the middle of the night, he threw me out to walk home.

He threw things at me, forced sex, and smashed a table and until I moved, rang my bell continuously until I came outside.

At work, once a couple years ago, he said f-you to me at work in my office because I did not answer a personal email for a few hours after I returned from a long weekend off. I reported that incident.

On Saturday, I went over there because he said he had been sitting around in his apartment all day and wanted to not be alone and was feeling suicidal.

I went over there (big mistake I know).

He started raging at me for how I always "leave him alone" and he sits and waits for me because we still socialize and he counts on me. How he hates me and never ever ever wants to see me again even as friends, and NO, he says we cannot even be civil.

I was really upset.

He ended up scaring me by getting up to close the windows so he could yell at me or do whatever and I ran out.

He followed and said, fine, NEVER talk to me again, as I drove off.

He called right away on my cell. An exchange of phone calls happened including him again saying he wanted to kill himself to get away from me.

I started feeling horribly guilty and cried off and on the next day, and I called him to say how could you say this to me and ended up making comments about how maybe he should die if he goes around hurting people by telling them it is their fault he wants to die.

I was upset and don't recall exactly what I said, I may have been more direct in my statement. I think he recorded the phone conversation because he is sneaky.

After some more exchanges, I said I was changing my number because I was feeling abused.

He left a message saying, "all bets are off" and changing my phone number was a hostile act, and he would make sure I go to jail.

On Wednesday at work, I saw him in the lobby and was starting to ask if I could talk to him to find out what he meant by this, and he started screaming at the top of his lungs, "POLICE, CALL THE POLICE. This woman has threatened me!!"

He ran up to the security desk and then backed off and I said, "you threatened me and I was trying to ask you why."

He said, "fine," I will let YOU call the police then, and he stormed off.

I stayed and gave an incident report to the security guards who referred it to HR.

I talked to HR and told them his suicide threats and about his messages and changing my number.

He likely has told them that I threatened to kill him.

I am concerned that he is really going to send me to jail and I will be arrested when it was HIM who was emotionally torturing me with the suicide talk and physically abused me in the past.

Can he use that conversation against me to get me fired or arrested if it was a threat by me, even if it was said in upset?

I am living in total fear since yesterday.

Also, this reveals how nuts he is as well and I'm scared because we work in the same place.:eek:

To complicate things-
Months ago,
I posted something on a neverdatehim website and he is mad at that and because I sent emails he gave me access to, to some people he had sex with while we were supposedly "together" and to his ex's fiance because he had sex with the ex too.What is the name of your state?
 


moburkes

Senior Member
My ex-boyfriendSo, he WAS your BF at one point in time. :mad:, who I continued to have varying levels of contact with and who works with me, said he was trying not to kill himself Saturday, because of me and "our relationship."

I had told him a while back that we are not girlfriend-boyfriend But, you were together previously, but just not right now?:confused:despite seeing each other sometimes, but he always says I am his girlfriend. I had limited contact but he always has called me and wanted to talk. Ummmm. Sounds like you aren't doing anything to help him move on...

First on him,
Basically,
in the past, he dragged me up the stairs to his apartment and would not let me leave and raged until, sometimes in the middle of the night, he threw me out to walk home.Did you call a cab? Did you call the police?

He threw things at me, forced sex, and smashed a table and until I moved, rang my bell continuously until I came outside.Did you go to the hospital? Did you call the police?

At work, once a couple years ago, he said f-you to me at work in my office because I did not answer a personal email for a few hours after I returned from a long weekend off. I reported that incident. Not illegal.

On Saturday, I went over there because he said he had been sitting around in his apartment all day and wanted to not be alone and was feeling suicidal.

I went over there (big mistake I know).

He started raging at me for how I always "leave him alone" and he sits and waits for me because we still socialize and he counts on me. How he hates me and never ever ever wants to see me again even as friends, and NO, he says we cannot even be civil.

I was really upset. About what?

He ended up scaring me by getting up to close the windows so he could yell at me or do whatever and I ran out.

He followed and said, fine, NEVER talk to me again, as I drove off.So, at one point you were walking, but now you have a vehicle? Just checking.

He called right away on my cell. Why did you answer? Why haven't you changed your cell phone number yet?An exchange of phone calls happened including him again saying he wanted to kill himself to get away from me.

I started feeling horribly guilty and cried off and on the next day, and I called him to say how could you say this to me and ended up making comments about how maybe he should die if he goes around hurting people by telling them it is their fault he wants to die. So, you're STILL continuing to talk to him.

I was upset and don't recall exactly what I said, I may have been more direct in my statement. I think he recorded the phone conversation because he is sneaky.

After some more exchanges, I said I was changing my number because I was feeling abused.

He left a message saying, "all bets are off" and changing my phone number was a hostile act, and he would make sure I go to jail.

On Wednesday at work, I saw him in the lobby and was starting to ask if I could talk to him to find out what he meant by this, and he started screaming at the top of his lungs, "POLICE, CALL THE POLICE. This woman has threatened me!!" You've GOT to be kidding me. After all that you've written above, you STILL felt the need to talk to him.

He ran up to the security desk and then backed off and I said, "you threatened me and I was trying to ask you why." That makes no sense. In a post full of illogical statements, that was THE MOST illogical one.

He said, "fine," I will let YOU call the police then, and he stormed off.

I stayed and gave an incident report to the security guards who referred it to HR. So, you never called the police, huh?

I talked to HR and told them his suicide threats and about his messages and changing my number.

He likely has told them that I threatened to kill him.

I am concerned that he is really going to send me to jail and I will be arrested when it was HIM who was emotionally torturing me with the suicide talk and physically abused me in the past.

Can he use that conversation against me to get me fired or arrested if it was a threat by me, even if it was said in upset?

I am living in total fear since yesterday.

Also, this reveals how nuts he is as well and I'm scared because we work in the same place.:eek:

To complicate things-
Months ago,
I posted something on a neverdatehim website and he is mad at that and because I sent emails he gave me access to, to some people he had sex with while we were supposedly "together" and to his ex's fiance because he had sex with the ex too.What is the name of your state?
So, what is your question?
US Law Only - WHEN POSTING A QUESTION, YOU MUST INCLUDE THE NAME OF YOUR STATE
 

BENSEB1

Member
phone call from Va. to DC; work is in DC

Thank you.

I am telling you the truth.

I drove there Saturday, but I used to live a mile from him and moved.

I'm in counseling because my first husband struck me and scratched my cornea
and this guy is abuser # 2.

I grew up in an abusive home where my Dad called me a b**** and beat me, so obviously the issues still haunt me into adulthood.

The question relates to
a) are the cell phone conversations if recorded admissible in court.
b) am I going to jail?

HR has not said anything and my own boss just expressed concern for my safety.

The calls were between Virginia and DC.

The workplace is in DC.

He is in Va. I am in DC.:(
 

moburkes

Senior Member
Okay, you said your first husband. How many have you had? Serious question? Are you looking for HELP or sympathy? Going to jail for WHAT?
 

BENSEB1

Member
jail for oral threats

He said he is going to put me in jail.

I think he is telling people that I threatened to kill him.

So, it would be for making oral threats.

Also, is the recorded call (if it was recorded)
admissible in court.

This is a legal site, so I am trying to find out if anyone
on here can answer the two questions. Thank you.
 

moburkes

Senior Member
No, you're not going to jail, but you need some therapy. Seriously. Like, now. You MAY have a restraining order against you, and one or both of you may lose your job.
 

BENSEB1

Member
Thank you.

Thank you.
I just needed some feedback because I have been
fearful the police would show up at my door today.
 

CLBKLCDTB

Member
He said he is going to put me in jail.

I think he is telling people that I threatened to kill him.

So, it would be for making oral threats.

Also, is the recorded call (if it was recorded)
admissible in court.


This is a legal site, so I am trying to find out if anyone
on here can answer the two questions. Thank you.

If you did not make the threat...why are you so worried about the recorded conversation?

I would say (Depnding on the state) If a threat of harm to another was left on a voice mail it can be used to get you arrested.

A tape recording of a phone conversation is not admissable unless the person being recorded is aware that they are being recorded. (At least in NY)
 

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