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Order of Protection filed, cant attend hearing as defendant

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cpr3584

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Florida, Illinois
I have a angry woman attempting to use the legal system as a means of getting back at me.
today a cop arrived at my house and issued me an order of protection in cook country (chicago) illinois. This is stemming from a relationship with my ex gf. I lived in FL and moved to chicago at her request last year. she invited me live at her residence until i found one of my own. after a few weeks she became mentally unstable, starting fights for no reason, etc...about 3 times i returned to her apartment after work to find my property taken out of her apartment and put on the street, while some of the property she couldnt move stayed inside. im pretty sure you cant just 'kick someone to the curb', leaving the person homeless. i should have called the police right then but figured its more trouble than its worth and didnt want to 'make a scene'. So i booked a ticket back to FL that night, abandoning my job in chicago. The traveling expenses amounted to about $3,000, money that i did not have, had to put on credit cards, etc.
a week after getting back to FL, I kindly asked my ex gf to help pay for a FRACTION of the travel expenses and her reply was 'not a chance' . i stated that i had helped her with money before and paid for 90% of a year-long relationship.
A few weeks ago I emailed her, a few times, asking again for a fraction of the cost.. those emails were not so nice however...i called her names such as 'loser' and 'fat slut'.
I realize i went over the line and should have just left her alone, but was acting out of revenge and anger.
so now because of these emails i have a hearing in chicago in two weeks for this order of protection-harassment..its an independent proceeding, no criminal charges have been filed by her. needless to say i cant attend the hearing because i live in FL.
also, in the report, she attempts to appear downtrodden, says my language is "abusive" and "scares her" and she "cant control her well-being" all over a handful of emails.
It should be made clear that i never abused or struck this woman while in the relationship. She did, however...punch me in the chest while i was not expecting it one night so i could counter-file in this case for an order of protection of my own.
What are my options here? Must i attend? If i dont, will there be a warrant issued?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
 


Isis1

Senior Member
if you can't attend, sounds like the order of protection will be granted.

you have the option of hirong an attorney to appear on your behalf.

keep in mind, if you don't have an attorney, or chose not to appear..not only could you have a failure to appear warrant for your arrest, but you could face additional charges.

depending on how long ago the hit to the chest was....i doubt the DA office would take it seriously since you waited too long to file a report and are only doing so since you got caught being abusive yourself.
 

Hot Topic

Senior Member
Your first mistake was moving to Chicago because your ex-girlfriend asked you to. That makes no sense unless you have a wonderful job waiting for you, as well as proper housing. Moving there, then having her turn on you is something you should have anticipated, as in, "What if I move there, and we break up?"

I find it hard to believe that she turned on you for no reason.

Since you didn't call the police, you must not have been too concerned by her behavior. You made the decision to abandon your job and move back to Florida. The costs you incurred were your fault because of decisions you made. Why should the girlfriend pay?

I think now that you want to get even with her for decisions that you made.
 

cpr3584

Junior Member
thats true i cannot counter file. i was checking to see if i could do it remotely.
"i find it hard to believe she turned on you for no reason".
it escalated from arguing over simple household issues to her screaming at me, then i came back from work to find myself locked out and locks changed (a crime). anyone that has ever been with someone who is not mentally stable knows 'she can turn on you for no reason' any time.
'getting even for the decisions i made'
i accept full responsibility for my actions. i made immature decisions.
i am missing some items that were lost in the move back to FL, and included those items and asked for them in my 'abusive emails'.
'i was abusive'
hardly. you are setting a very low standard for abuse. calling someone a 'fat bitch' i do not personally think its endangering or threatening someone, but whatever. the laws of the land also have a low standard of abuse/sexual harassment,there have been some cases where men have been arrested for complimenting a woman's dress.
I called the cook county clerk of courts, and a gentleman said that if i do not attend the hearing, it will proceed without me, and the order for protection will likely be granted. From my research so far on this matter it is unlikely that a warrant will be issued.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
thats true i cannot counter file. i was checking to see if i could do it remotely.
"i find it hard to believe she turned on you for no reason".
it escalated from arguing over simple household issues to her screaming at me, then i came back from work to find myself locked out and locks changed (a crime). anyone that has ever been with someone who is not mentally stable knows 'she can turn on you for no reason' any time.
'getting even for the decisions i made'
i accept full responsibility for my actions. i made immature decisions.
i am missing some items that were lost in the move back to FL, and included those items and asked for them in my 'abusive emails'.
'i was abusive'
hardly. you are setting a very low standard for abuse. calling someone a 'fat bitch' i do not personally think its endangering or threatening someone, but whatever. the laws of the land also have a low standard of abuse/sexual harassment,there have been some cases where men have been arrested for complimenting a woman's dress.
I called the cook county clerk of courts, and a gentleman said that if i do not attend the hearing, it will proceed without me, and the order for protection will likely be granted. From my research so far on this matter it is unlikely that a warrant will be issued.

did you receive a summons...or a letter that said, "if you think you might want to show up"?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
...anyone that has ever been with someone who is not mentally stable knows 'she can turn on you for no reason' any time.
One could reasonably argue that only a mentally unstable person would move several states without having a job or a stable place to stay...just upon the suggestion of a girl/guy that he/she hardly knows...
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
If they are the same as out here, no warrant will issue. You are served with a copy of the complaint and the TRO, and you have to respond in a timely manner and attend court if you want to be heard. if you want to ignore it, the TRO will likely be granted.

In this case, if you do not attend, you will be subject to all the problems of having a restraining order including it being entered into a national registry, possibly having to disclose it to prospective employers, and being prohibited from owning or possessing any firearms.
 

cpr3584

Junior Member
yep its a summons, but from what i have gathered...it is actually a "if you want to show up" deal.
of course i know i 'should' be there, but i cant.
going back to the original question: will a warrant be issued if i do not attend a hearing for order of protection?
 

cpr3584

Junior Member
One could reasonably argue that only a mentally unstable person would move several states without having a job or a stable place to stay...just upon the suggestion of a girl/guy that he/she hardly knows...


a. had a job upon moving to chicago
b. dated in college, got back together 3 years later, know her more than most people in my life.
c. thought i had a stable place to stay for the time being.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
One could reasonably argue that only a mentally unstable person would move several states without having a job or a stable place to stay...just upon the suggestion of a girl/guy that he/she hardly knows...


a. had a job upon moving to chicago
b. dated in college, got back together 3 years later, know her more than most people in my life.
c. thought i had a stable place to stay for the time being.
And yet...here we are...
 

cpr3584

Junior Member
uh.. yea, here we are.
i guess you come on here to talk down to people, not give any type of legal advice. you are probably the furthest thing from a lawyer in the world. all you have done is criticize my decisions. we all make mistakes.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
uh.. yea, here we are.
i guess you come on here to talk down to people, not give any type of legal advice. you are probably the furthest thing from a lawyer in the world. all you have done is criticize my decisions. we all make mistakes.
I'm not criticizing your decisions...I'm criticizing your deflection of blame.

But, you're right.
 

Gracie3787

Senior Member
If you cannot, or don't want to appear the worst thing to do is nothing.

File an answer, state that you live in FL, how long you have lived in FL, and you cannot attend the hearing.
Then wait to see what happens.
 

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