Parents have threatened to sue.

[wolf156]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

I posted a bit of a long winded post, but it timed out and erased all of it >.<

So im going to try to summarize my post.

My parents have a long history of alcohol abuse, physical abuse, and verbal abuse. I've tried to make some semblance of peace with them so that my daughter may see her grand parents from time to time, but my father is constantly trying to dictate and control the lives of my family the way he controls my mother. He's an extremely toxic and abusive person, and constantly uses threats of violence, threats of money, or threats of legal action to scare people into doing what he wants them to do. He's a military officer so this has largely gone ignored.

Last night they invited my family and i over for dinner which was weird because we haven't herd from them in some time. It became apparent that they had invited us over to belittle us and try to pick a fight. I got my family and left before it got too out of hand, and when we got home i vented over facebook to family and friends that i was done with my parents, that they are toxic people and i was cutting them out of my life for good. The next day it turns out they got wind that i posted about them over facebook and now they've threatened a law suit if i don't apologize to them and take the post down. I really don't buy the threats as i know they are pretty much all talk, but i would like to know any advice i could use to arm myself if they do push it to that point.

Thank you for your time.

 

[FlyingRon]

It's easy to threaten to sue. It's harder to actually file the suit. It's near impossible in this situation to prevail.
Don't let them yank your chain. Write back if you get a suit filed (better yet, just get a lawyer).

 

[wolf156]

I know they could go for Defamation of Character, but the thing is i can easily prove everything i've said about them. I have plenty of evidence, drunken harassing voice mails, and testimonies, that would easily prove i was telling the truth.

However, i'm the type that wants to know every angle in a situation so i don't have some surprise pop up later on lol.

 

[xylene]

You are creating drama by leaving the posting up.

You are not giving in to controlling toxic people by taking the post down. You are just being smart.

Also you should have your toxic family members blocked on facebook and increase your privacy settings.

Maybe even consider deactivating your account and taking a little FB break.

Are you working with a therapist to help you with these family issues?

 

[I'mTheFather]

Was your purpose in posting to create tension and drama among your family members? Clearly, you have, since somebody told your parents about it. So, isn't it just best for everyone if you just delete that post?

 

[wolf156]

The problem with deleting the post is it gives them exactly what they want.

My parents have continued years of abuse, because no ones called them out on it before.

It may create drama, but everything posted is true and provable.

 

[xylene]

I'm sorry you have this painful burden, but I want to suggest that you are thinking wrong here

You are clearly still thinking of this like their abusiveness and toxicity are correctable.

Social media shaming won't change them.

And it is leading you into this trap - "The problem with deleting the post is it gives them exactly what they want."

Yes, you will give them something they want in the process of ceasing to do something which is bad for you.
The person to think about is YOU.
Stop doing something bad for you.

 

[wolf156]

But how would leaving the post up be bad for me?

If there's nothing they can legally do about it, what does it matter?

 

[Silverplum]

This isn't about domestic violence: it's about defamation. And about the unwiseness/silliness of posting all that personal stuff on fb.

 

[wolf156]

i understand, but from what i've read up on defamation, if i can prove it they can't do anything about it.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Leaving the post up is bad for you because it gives them an excuse to say that you are the problem drama llama.

Take control of your life. Excise them out.

Delete the post.
Block them.
Say nothing more to anyone about them; they have ceased to exist.
Anyone who attempts to be a go between gets similar treatment.

THAT is how you get the toxicity out of the system.

And they then have nothing to use against you.

 

[wolf156]

Point well made.

Will do sir.

 

[stealth2]

But how would leaving the post up be bad for me?

Because people will think you're a jerk. Vents are generally best done privately to select people who you know will not escalate.

And really? No one wants to see your dirty laundry, skidmarks and all...

 

[CdwJava]

i understand, but from what i've read up on defamation, if i can prove it they can't do anything about it.

Ask yourself, "What do I hope to gain?" If the answer is that you are merely doing it to goad your parents and yank dad's chain, then I would suggest you are acting as much the petulant child as they might be acting the controlling parent.

If you are keeping your post up merely to stick your tongue out at them, that is a childish reason. Show them and everyone else that you are above such petty displays. Remove the post, ignore your parents when they act rude and boorish, and get on with YOUR life and do not worry about what THEY do.

 

[wolf156]

Well to be fair on this, i received a lot of support and positive feedback on the post from both friends and family. The only negative feedback was from my sister who is siding with my parents because she's hitting them up for money right now.