Please advice - was threatened with false CPS accusation

[NeedHelpNow00]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

This happened in September 2009 and has been in my mind ever since.

In September 2009, I had a run-in with a loose canon at the University where I took my child for speech therapy. I took her to the children's bathroom and whilst we were leaving the bathroom, I happened to dump wet paper towels in a diaper pail as opposed to the trash can in the bathroom. This was witnessed by one of the 'lecturers' who immediately came screaming at me, and chased me down the hall-way and into the seating area, yelling that I no right to dump paper towels in the diaper pail and that I was yelling at my kid etc etc etc! I was terrified and did not know what to think. I just froze.

I then complained to HIS supervisor about his yelling, stalking and intimidation to me and was shocked to get a return email, telling me that I was lying and that I had been talking 'rudely' to my kid which was why he intervened. Oh, and his stalking? He was just 'following us' to 'make sure that the child was OK' and that as 'mandated reporters' it is part of their job to take action in any situation that is 'not in the best interests of the child'.

I wanted to contact an attorney right away and to have him or her write the University a letter but my friends adviced me against it, especially since I was then still a student there (I graduated in December, 2009). I simply emailed her back, denying his allegations although I did have a strongly worded email that I REALLY wanted to send out at the time (but did not because of my friends' urging)

Although close to a year has passed since this incident it still haunts me. This jerk harassed, yelled and stalked me AND capped it all up with an accusation of child abuse which his boss then extended to include CPS when I reported his actions to her.

Is it too late now for me to get an attorney involved? Nothing but an apology would work for me - and as a parent who is ever struggling to do right by my child, this incident hurts, haunts and wounds me to this day.

Please advice. What should I do now? What is the statute of limitation in this case? Is it too late for me to take legal action against this jerk for threatening to file a false report? (I still have the boss' email - and she cc-ed a whole bunch of people on it, including this jerk, the dean, the head of the speech communications department etc etc etc).

I just cannot let go and move on especially since I was the victim and was further victimized by these people. Thanks.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

This happened in September 2009 and has been in my mind ever since.

In September 2009, I had a run-in with a loose canon at the University where I took my child for speech therapy. I took her to the children's bathroom and whilst we were leaving the bathroom, I happened to dump wet paper towels in a diaper pail as opposed to the trash can in the bathroom. This was witnessed by one of the 'lecturers' who immediately came screaming at me, and chased me down the hall-way and into the seating area, yelling that I no right to dump paper towels in the diaper pail and that I was yelling at my kid etc etc etc! I was terrified and did not know what to think. I just froze.

I then complained to HIS supervisor about his yelling, stalking and intimidation to me and was shocked to get a return email, telling me that I was lying and that I had been talking 'rudely' to my kid which was why he intervened. Oh, and his stalking? He was just 'following us' to 'make sure that the child was OK' and that as 'mandated reporters' it is part of their job to take action in any situation that is 'not in the best interests of the child'.

How did we go from you being yelled at - on one single occasion - to you being stalked?

Why do you believe this person wasn't genuinely concerned for the welfare of a child?

I wanted to contact an attorney right away and to have him or her write the University a letter but my friends adviced me against it, especially since I was then still a student there (I graduated in December, 2009). I simply emailed her back, denying his allegations although I did have a strongly worded email that I REALLY wanted to send out at the time (but did not because of my friends' urging)

You have smart friends.

Although close to a year has passed since this incident it still haunts me. This jerk harassed, yelled and stalked me AND capped it all up with an accusation of child abuse which his boss then extended to include CPS when I reported his actions to her.

Is it too late now for me to get an attorney involved? Nothing but an apology would work for me - and as a parent who is ever struggling to do right by my child, this incident hurts, haunts and wounds me to this day.

Please advice. What should I do now? What is the statute of limitation in this case? Is it too late for me to take legal action against this jerk for threatening to file a false report? (I still have the boss' email - and she cc-ed a whole bunch of people on it, including this jerk, the dean, the head of the speech communications department etc etc etc).

I just cannot let go and move on especially since I was the victim and was further victimized by these people. Thanks.

Counseling would perhaps help you move past this event.

You have no legal recourse whatsoever, against either the university itself or any faculty members.

 

[quincy]

If you are thinking of suing the "lecturer" for defamation, California has a one year period of time, from the date the defamatory statements were first made, within which you must file. So you technically still have time to file suit.

However, before speaking with an attorney, I recommend you talk with those wise friends of yours again, the ones who advised you not to send the strongly-worded email. Hopefully they will be able to convince you that the incident in the restroom is best forgotten and left in the past.

There are crappy people in the world, NeedHelpNow, and I imagine you will run into a few more like the lecturer in your lifetime. Most of these people will not be worth the time, the effort and the dollars it takes to sue them.

I suggest you take the thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars you have available right now to spend on the defamation suit and spend it on your child instead. This should prove to be a far better investment in the long run (especially since your odds of winning a defamation suit are probably not all that great).

Good luck.

 

[NeedHelpNow00]

How did we go from you being yelled at - on one single occasion - to you being stalked?

Why do you believe this person wasn't genuinely concerned for the welfare of a child?

First of all, there was nothing wrong with the welfare of my child. I am not sure why you would insinuate otherwise?

Secondly, would anyone genuinely concerned for the welfare of the child SCREAM at a parent in the presence of the child about dumping paper towels in a diaper pail???? Or chase parent all the way down the hallway yelling about where the paper towels belonged? If this was about my child, then he would have only stuck to it, but the MAJOR focus of his ire was not my child, but on where I dumped trash! He only began yelling and claiming that I had been yelling at my kid when he realized that there were people in the seating area who were witnessing this horrendous scene!

You have smart friends.

You mean that I should just suck up the harassment and the yelling and the stalking (I refer to him chasing after me down the hallway and following me into the seating area still screaming about the towels as stalking)? Don't I (and my child who was with me at the time) have the right to feel safe and did I need to be yelled at over which trash belongs in which trash can???

 

[NeedHelpNow00]

If you are thinking of suing the "lecturer" for defamation, California has a one year period of time, from the date the defamatory statements were first made, within which you must file. So you technically still have time to file suit.

However, before speaking with an attorney, I recommend you talk with those wise friends of yours again, the ones who advised you not to send the strongly-worded email. Hopefully they will be able to convince you that the incident in the restroom is best forgotten and left in the past.

There are crappy people in the world, NeedHelpNow, and I imagine you will run into a few more like the lecturer in your lifetime. Most of these people will not be worth the time, the effort and the dollars it takes to sue them.

I suggest you take the thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars you have available right now to spend on the defamation suit and spend it on your child instead. This should prove to be a far better investment in the long run (especially since your odds of winning a defamation suit are probably not all that great).

Good luck.

Yes, I was thinking of defamation and character assassination. I was wondering why it is that he could harass and intimidate me, followed by slanderous accusations and the threat to report me to CPS, and get away with all of it. Thank you for your response.

It is indeed interesting to see how all it takes to get away with such vile behavior as this jerk's is the accusation (however false) that the other person was yelling or being 'rude' to their kid!

 

[SingleMomAZ]

Complain to his supervisor as well as the dean of schools and never go to school there again?

 

[CdwJava]

How do you KNOW CPS was ever called? Did they speak to you? Did you receive notice of a conclusion to their investigation? Or was this a threat only? Keep in mind that a referral to CPS may be required if they have any thought that you MIGHT have been neglecting or abusing your child, but that report does not mean CPS will act on it.

As for the slander or defamation, how were you harmed? Who else was told all of this? If it was a communication between you and the lecturer's supervisor, that is not likely to be to convincing at trial. A civil suit is about money. It is about how much money is necessary to make you whole. Just how much would it take to make you whole? Do you have damages that you can articulate? How much will you make the initial claim for to the university or the lecturer? It is after the clan is rejected that you can file suit ... Provided you have e funds to pay an attorney up front, of course.

People can do stupid things and still not break the law or have it be a cause of legal action. This may well be one of those things. If it is a year old, it is time to move on.

 

[stealth2]

Huh.... I would have thought a "Children's Bathroom" wouldn't have other adults in it. So how did this guy see you throwing ANYTHING into the diaper pail?

 

[NeedHelpNow00]

How do you KNOW CPS was ever called? Did they speak to you? Did you receive notice of a conclusion to their investigation? Or was this a threat only? Keep in mind that a referral to CPS may be required if they have any thought that you MIGHT have been neglecting or abusing your child, but that report does not mean CPS will act on it.

As for the slander or defamation, how were you harmed? Who else was told all of this? If it was a communication between you and the lecturer's supervisor, that is not likely to be to convincing at trial. A civil suit is about money. It is about how much money is necessary to make you whole. Just how much would it take to make you whole? Do you have damages that you can articulate? How much will you make the initial claim for to the university or the lecturer? It is after the clan is rejected that you can file suit ... Provided you have e funds to pay an attorney up front, of course.

People can do stupid things and still not break the law or have it be a cause of legal action. This may well be one of those things. If it is a year old, it is time to move on.

A whole bunch of people were cc-ed on this email exchange, including the dean of the speech communication department where my kid was receiving therapy as well as the dean of my department (they found out that I was still a student and emailed him as well - luckily, I was able to tell him my side of the story as well and he just shook his head in disbelief).

I feel that this was sheer vindictiveness and their attempt to get back at me for complaining about his outrageous behavior. I need an apology plain and simple. I feel that he got away with threats, intimidation, and, to cap it all off, character assassination!

I could even forget everything else, what I cannot forget and get over is the accusation that I was a bad parent (for what, for throwing paper towels in a diaper pail?) and making the threat of CPS just to get back at me for daring to complain about this jerk's terrible behavior. But you're right, of course. For my own peace of mind, I should get over it - this a-hole is NO ONE to judge MY parenting or my love for my child.

Also, Gail in Georgia, I have no idea why you are so hostile or what part of my OP that clearly mentioned that he chased me (and my child) down the hallway and into the waiting area you don't believe is harassment. I wasn't 'hollering' at my kid, he made that up because he realized that he was sounding like an idiot for screaming about paper towels in a diaper pail in front of a bunch of people!

I suggest that *you* seek counseling to deal with your anger and hostility. It is obvious that you have an anger management issue or you wouldn't be so rude to a complete stranger who is here for advice and feedback.

 

[NeedHelpNow00]

Huh.... I would have thought a "Children's Bathroom" wouldn't have other adults in it. So how did this guy see you throwing ANYTHING into the diaper pail?

The diaper pail was outside. I was washing my child's hands and she quit the bathroom whilst I was still washing my own. So, I grabbed some paper towels to wipe my own hands with, and rushed out of the bathroom following her and this crazy was in the corner. He saw me dumping the paper towels in a diaper pail as I was running after the kid and started screaming at the top of his lungs and chasing after me.

 

[stealth2]

luckily, I was able to tell him my side of the story as well and he just shook his head in disbelief

Quite possibly at your own reaction.

Seriously? Move on.

 

[mistoffolees]

A whole bunch of people were cc-ed on this email exchange, including the dean of the speech communication department where my kid was receiving therapy as well as the dean of my department (they found out that I was still a student and emailed him as well - luckily, I was able to tell him my side of the story as well and he just shook his head in disbelief).

I feel that this was sheer vindictiveness and their attempt to get back at me for complaining about his outrageous behavior. I need an apology plain and simple. I feel that he got away with threats, intimidation, and, to cap it all off, character assassination!

I could even forget everything else, what I cannot forget and get over is the accusation that I was a bad parent (for what, for throwing paper towels in a diaper pail?) and making the threat of CPS just to get back at me for daring to complain about this jerk's terrible behavior. But you're right, of course. For my own peace of mind, I should get over it - this a-hole is NO ONE to judge MY parenting or my love for my child.

Also, Gail in Georgia, I have no idea why you are so hostile or what part of my OP that clearly mentioned that he chased me (and my child) down the hallway and into the waiting area you don't believe is harassment. I wasn't 'hollering' at my kid, he made that up because he realized that he was sounding like an idiot for screaming about paper towels in a diaper pail in front of a bunch of people!

I suggest that *you* seek counseling to deal with your anger and hostility. It is obvious that you have an anger management issue or you wouldn't be so rude to a complete stranger who is here for advice and feedback.

You've gotten the same advice from everyone who posted here. Drop it - you can't make your life any better and you may make it worse if you continue to pursue this. It's not worth losing sleep over, much less going to court.

People are getting frustrated because everyone (including your friends) is giving you the same advice yet you continue to insist that you are going to demand justice.

Drop it and focus your energy on building a good life for your child.

 

[CdwJava]

SO, CPS was not notified. If they were, they did not speak to you, correct? If they did not speak to you, it is a pretty certain thing that they did not open an investigation.

You say you want an apology. Okay, ask for one. But you were talking about a lawsuit for slander. Lawsuits are about money, not apologies. So, you will need to articulate your damages, make a claim for compensation and then sue when they do not pay you. I strongly recommend you consult an attorney before you even consider a lawsuit. How much are you willing to pay an attorney in order to get an apology?

Given the time delay, you could be fast approaching the time to file any kind of a lawsuit. Libel and slander have a one year SOL in CA. So, you may want to start talking to lawyers if that is what you want.

 

[NeedHelpNow00]

Quite possibly at your own reaction.

Seriously? Move on.

At my reaction??? LOL. OK, whatever. So, how should I have reacted to being screamed at and chased down a hallway and then accused of being a bad parent????

It seems that there are some hostile people here. Those who advised me in real life were not so hostile or mocking. They understand how hurtful it would be to be accused of being a bad parent and to pull the CPS card as a method of covering up the accuser's own terrible behavior.

And Gail in Georgia (or wherever) -- really? And such aggression is how you react to 'funny' posts, is it? WOW...! I can barely imagine how you react to things that make you angry then!

Obviously you are anti-social enough to think that being accused of being a bad parent is funny. Get a heart and some serious counseling. I suppose you would feel this way if such an accusation was leveled at you (hopefully, you don't have any kids!)

To everyone else, thanks for taking the time to respond. I appreciate it.